A Walk Through Hell
by paramorebrighter
Summary: AH/AU A mysterious doctor comes to town right as Bella struggles to cope with the aftermath of being a widow.
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._**

**_A/N- I got two requests in a row tonight to repost this, so it looks like I'm going to have to.  
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_**"A day in the life of the incredibly lucky Michael Newton," my husband said at my side. I rolled over onto my side in of the bed to gaze onto upon him. His hair was sticking up all over the place. He was so cute. He smiled at me, with his eyes still closed. "Are you looking at me, Bells?"

"Yeah," I said.

He opened his eyes. "Now, I can start my day." He leaned over and kissed me, then my growing stomach.

I was looking forward to a weekend with "the girls-" Angela, Alice, and Rosalie. They were throwing my baby shower while the Swan/Newton men were going on a fishing trip. We were our own family, we did everything together, every holiday, every picnic, every special occasion. I laid in the bed for a few more minutes while Mike got into the shower. I had all morning to get ready, whereas, Charlie and Dave were picking Mike up in an hour. All his camping and fishing gear was in the living room, packed and ready to go. I hated being apart from him, but he needed some guy time, and a chance to bond with my Dad. Charlie sometimes liked him, sometimes he didn't, especially after he caught us in bed in my room.

I fought the urge to join him in the shower, he'd never be ready by the time Charlie and Dave came by. I was becoming more and more round every day, and I wasn't sure I'd fit in the shower with him anyway. I was only five months, but I couldn't imagine getting any bigger, unfortunately it was inevitable.

He walked out of the bathroom in a towel, winked at me and dropped the towel. He was just toying with me as he dressed. I got up to brush my teeth and walked to the kitchen to make breakfast. I put on a hot pot of a coffee with a few extra cups for our fathers, and made some oatmeal. They needed something with whole grains in it for energy, all the hiking they'd be doing would surely wear them out. I was sorry I wasn't going. I used to go on these fishing trips with Mike, but being this pregnant, Mike didn't want me taking any chances.

Mike came downstairs in our little rented house, he kissed the ultrasound picture taped to our refrigerator before kissing me, again. I handed him a cup of coffee just the way he liked it, a little cream, no sugar, just as Charlie and Dave pulled up.

"Morning, Bells," Charlie said, coming in the front door.

"Hi, Dad," I said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Morning, Michael, Bella," Dave said, coming inside. "Are you all packed, Mike?"

"Yes sir, I am," Mike said.

"Good. It looks like it's going to rain the whole time," Dave said.

"What's new in Forks," Charlie muttered. "It might even snow."

"I made some extra coffee if you want to top off before you go," I said.

"Sorry you're not coming this time, Bells," Charlie said, holding out his mug.

"Me too," I said, pouring more coffee for him. I liked a good hike, although I usually ended up tripping and spraining something. Mike always carried me home, always complaining about how such a little girl could be so heavy, making all our friends laugh, although this was the fattest I had ever been.

"Well, we'll take you, soon," Charlie said. "And little Gene."

Gene. That was the name we had decided on for our son. We knew we were having a boy and I had said that I wanted to name him after his father. Mike, of course, didn't want to have another Mike running around, and he didn't want him to be called Eugene, his middle name, so instead we decided we'd call him Gene.

Alice's VW Beetle pulled up in front of our house and I saw her and Jasper get out, with a few bags from Party City. I was surprised she was on time. She had been entertaining her mysterious doctor cousin that was doing a stint in the ER here in Forks with a prestigious internship program. I had yet to meet him, he was so busy. We had a hard time keeping doctors in this area because of the lack of population. Alice let herself in the front door. "Hey, everybody!" she cried, pulling back her hood. Jasper was right behind her.

"Hiya, Alice!" Charlie cried, taking her into a hug. "Hi, Jasper."

"Hi, Charlie," she said. "How is everything?"

"It's good," Charlie said.

"Are you guys ready to go and leave Bella in our capable hands?" Alice asked, wrapping her arms around me.

"Don't let her ride any motorcycles up and down the drive at midnight," Mike joked.

"Rose and Emmett are going to be here with the food, soon," Jasper said. "Jacob and Ang are supposed to be here with the balloons, but they're never on time, anyways."

"That's what happens when you have kids," Dave said gruffly, pouring a cup of coffee for himself.

"I was on time until Bella moved in with me," Charlie said.

"You're so funny, Dad," I replied.

"I have plans for the decorations," Alice said, ignoring us, continuing with her crusade to make this the perfect Victorian-themed Baby Shower ever. "I'm going to need to move the Stars Wars memorialibia on the mantle, though."

"Just as long as I don't come home to a permanently redecorated house," Mike said, scraping the last of his oatmeal out of his bowl. "I like my man-cave, don't touch my Indiana Jones movie posters! If there's anything on Han Solo or Mal Reynolds, either-"

"I hear you, man," Jasper said, bumping fists with him.

"Have a good time," I said as Mike got up from the table. "I'll protect your man-cave." That had a double-meaning for us. He smiled when he kissed me.

"I love you. Never forget that," he said, softly.

"I love you, too," I whispered, my eyes locked on his. "Have a good time."


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._**

**_A/N- I got two requests in a row tonight to repost this, so it looks like I'm going to have to.  
_**

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_**I was surrounded by a mountain of blue. Half of my fellow female teachers from work had shown up and were cooing over the baby clothes. Rose and Emmett bought a crib, Angela and Jacob had brought a beautiful rocking chair, which Jacob had actually built himself. Alice and Jasper gave us a changing table. Charlie had bought a nice jog stroller, and Dave and Rebecca, Mike's parents, had bought a car seat. Esme and Carlisle, Alice's parent's, had bought a glider for the baby, which was going to be delivered. Most of my friends from work had brought baby clothes and towels. Jessica Stanley had brought an entire case of baby wipes, and Lauren Mallory, who had actually become quite sweet and friendly since college, had a bought a cute little blue hoodie towel and wash cloth set with a whale on it. Renée hadn't been able to come, but she was sending a mobile and the crib padding. There had been no boys allowed, so Jacob, Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper were kicking back and enjoying a few beers at Carlisle's house.

"Speech, speech!" Alice cried, tapping her fork on her champagne flute. She always went all out with every party. Rose and Angela got in on the glass-tapping until everybody shut up and all eyes were on me.

"Of course, you're going to do this to me," I said, flushing. I felt the baby kick. "This is the biggest party I've ever had in my entire life, asides from my wedding. I'm so grateful for every single one of you. Thank you all so much for everything, this all is so beautiful. I feel so lucky, and very loved right now, and I know this baby is coming into this world surrounded by love. Mike and I are so happy and feel truly blessed."

There was a chorus of awwww's in the room.

I did feel so incredibly blessed.

Alice, Rosalie, Angela and I were snuggled into my bed, giggling at Ghostbusters over a bowl of popcorn. We had had a full day with the baby shower and tonight was a girl's night.

Angela had left her son, Will, with Jacob. Alice and Rosalie didn't have kids, yet, but Alice was hoping to get pregnant, soon. I couldn't sit on the couch for a long period of time, so we all ended up piling into the bed, like we did when we were in high school at slumber parties. I half-heartedly worked on thank-you notes from the party. I could actually write them on my tummy, which made my friends all laugh. We had gotten all the streamers, food and stuff from the games cleaned up, but the baby's presents hadn't been moved, yet. There was so much of it.

"Do you think you'll have another one?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, in a few years," I said. "We need a bigger house before then. Mike and I are looking to buy one."

"Have you seen the Nicholson place? They might be selling, soon," Rose said. She and Emmett were Real Estate Agents. Real Estate was getting hotter and hotter in the Olympic Peninsula, especially since people wanted to be close to the water without the party situation. "They contacted our office. God, I have to pee again." She had been on a new diet, and she had been drinking water nonstop all day. She got up and went to the bathroom.

"I think it would be a good idea to start saving for a house, too," Alice said. "For you, of course. It's going to be a buyer's market, soon."

"I told you that, Alice!" Rosalie yelled through the door. "Hey, look, it's snowing!"

"Oh!" Ang cried, hopping out of the bed. She ran to the window. "It is!"

I heard the toilet flush and the sink came on. Alice helped me to sit up and I got out of the bed to see the snow. "It's so pretty!" I cried. "Our first snow of the new year!"

"Do you want to make crank calls to the guys?" Rosalie asked, coming out of the bathroom.

"Oh, we did that last time," I said. "They know it's us anyways."

"Let's play sound bytes from the movie! That'll confuse the hell of 'em!" Alice cried.

"Good idea!" Rose cried.

Ang and I exchanged glances, we had lost the war. When Alice and Rosalie decided they wanted to do something, that was it. Our votes didn't count.

We spent a few hours pausing and fast-forwarding to the best one-liners of the movie and then 67-ing the boy's cell phones, not saying anything, just playing the movie. Jasper finally answered the phone, saying, "Alice, I know it's you. Cut it out!" We'd hold off our giggles until we hung up, normally, but we lost it. Jasper called right back.

"I know it's you," he said.

"You know what?" Alice asked.

"You've been calling our phones under caller ID block and playing scenes from Ghostbusters," he said. We all cracked up. "I know you think it's funny, but it's not."

"It is!" Alice cried. "I don't know who's doing it-"

"I know you're doing it because Bella and Mike own a copy of it on DVD," he said.

"Jazz, I gotta go," Alice said, hanging up. We all burst out laughing.

The doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Angela said. They had ordered pizza, although I had been getting heartburn. She darted downstairs, grabbing the twenty on the dresser.

Jasper called back and we heard nothing but Adam Sander singing, "Suntan lotion is good for me, You protect me, tee-hee-hee…" We could hear him and Emmett laughing in the background. Rose, Alice and I started giggling.

"BELLA!" Angela's voice sounded frantic. All the laughter in the room stopped. "Bella, get down here, now!" My heart suddenly pounded.

Alice and Rose helped me up and we ran downstairs.

I saw Mark Hetsler at the front step, his hat in his hand. He was one of the deputies on the police force. The look on his face was grave. "Hi, Bella," he said. He was like a little brother to Charlie.

"Oh, God no," I muttered, feeling faint, my stomach drop out from under me. My knees wobbled underneath me and then buckled. I almost lost control of my bladder. Rose caught me.

"Is it Dave? Charlie? Please, no, God, no it couldn't be my Michael, no not Mike-"

"No, Bella," Mark said. "There's been an accident. They were driving home because of the snow. Dave didn't... survive, and Charlie and Mike are in the ER."

"They're alive?" I asked, in a tiny voice.

"Yes, they survived," he said. "Charlie's got a broken sternum, several bones, a collapsed lung, and they're pretty sure he's got a concussion and maybe some internal bleeding. Mike's in critical condition, though."

I shivered and saw spots in my vision.

"Come on, Bella," Angela appeared beside me with my coat. Alice and Rosalie put my arms through the arm holes, I couldn't quite remember how to do it myself. "We'll drive you." Angela wrapped an arm around me and guided me out to the garage.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or  
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_**I watched the windshield spot over with droplets of rain as Rosalie drove along. They illuminated by the streetlight into small stars for only a moment. Only fifteen minutes ago, we were crank calling Emmett and Jasper. We were commenting on how pretty the snow was. I was writing thank-you notes on my pregnant belly, while my friends laughed at me and signed them from Mike and myself. Now, Mike was possibly dying.

"This can't be," I muttered. Something squeezed my hand, I realized it was Angela's hand. She was holding it. She had been holding it the whole time we were in the car. "This can't be," I repeated.

"I know," Ang murmured. She shuffled closer to me and pulled my head onto her shoulder with her other hand.

I hadn't cried, yet. Something in me didn't want to cry. This was all just a mistake, Mike would pull through. I had to save tears to shed at Dave's funeral. Mike had to take care of the store. His mother would be devastated that her husband of twenty-seven years was dead. He had to take care of her and he had a son to raise. He hadn't seen the presents from the baby shower, yet. His last words to me were I love you, never forget that. Those couldn't be his final words to me, they seemed too ominous, like there was something inside of him expecting something bad to happen on this trip. No, Mike never bet on sports games because he always lost. He always lost at the Tuesday night poker games with Emmett, Jasper and the boys from the fantasy football league. He had the worst luck with betting. A nervous, crazy peal of laughter escaped my lips, and Rose and Alice turned around from the front seat out of concern to look at me.

"This is all a mistake!" I cried. "I'll get there, and they'll have misidentified them, and they'll come home tomorrow, and it'll all be a big scare for nothing, and Mike will come home and I'll tell him about this and about how scared I was and he'll laugh and then make love to me-"

"Bella," Angela said, softly. Alice reached over from the front passenger seat to pat my knee. "Let's just see." She picked up her cell phone and started dialing her father. "Dad?... I'm sorry to be calling so late, but can you meet us at the Forks Memorial Hospital?... There's been an accident… Bring your Bible and collar… I know you know… I'll fill you in when you get there… I love you, bye."

Rosalie pulled into the parking lot closest to the ER behind Mark's Police Cruiser. They all helped me out of the car and Rosalie held the umbrella over my head as we walked in. I went up to the Triage nurse with Mark.

"Hi, Marge," he said. "I've got Bella here. Where are Mike and Charlie?"

"Charlie's pretty banged up, but he's OK," she said, looking at me. "Michael Newton, though… he hasn't woken up, yet. Bad head injury. Dr. Cullen is having him life-flighted to Seattle. The chopper's coming in about thirty minutes."

"I have to see him," I said. I began to repeat myself, again. I tended to repeat myself when upset. "I have to see him."

"We'll let you in, Bella," Marge said.

I went straight to see Mike. He was on a gurney, his neck suspended, carefully, his eyes closed and completely still. He was covered in dark, dried blood, his face was misshapen and swollen. I hardly recognized him, but when I saw his wedding ring, the one with the continuous ivy engraving that I had picked out, I knew it was him. I felt like my heart would explode. No, it couldn't be Mike. He was everything to me.

I ran my hand over his, hoping against hope that it would move against mine, recognizing my touch, giving me hope that he'd be OK. It all became real to me; Mike was dying. My tears began to run down my cheeks and heavy sobs heaved my chest.

"Bella? Dr. Cullen is here," Mark said. I turned around, expecting to see Carlisle, my second father, who I could run to, bury my face in his chest and sob to, but instead, I saw a young man, maybe my age, with coppery-red hair, in scrubs, with a somber expression.

"Hi, Mrs. Newton, I'm Dr. Cullen," he said in a low, comforting voice, extending his hand. I remembered that I was supposed to shake it. I shook it, my chin trembling. "I'm the on-call doctor tonight in the ER. I believe you're best friends with my cousin Alice."

Oh yeah, I had a best friend named Alice, the short girl with spiky black hair. She had thrown a party for me in honor of my pending birth. I nodded.

"I'm so sorry about the accident. Your father is fine, but your husband is in critical condition," he said. "We're sending him on to Seattle. A team of emergency neurologists will operate on him to relieve the pressure on his brain from the skull fracture and concussion. It's a very delicate procedure and must be done as soon as possible. I'm afraid nobody in this area is trained to do it properly, so I'm having him life-flighted."

"What-what are his other injuries?" I finally asked.

"His right upper arm was crushed, his clavicle was broken, several of his ribs were shattered on the left side, and his left lung was punctured. We think his L4 was broken. The CT Scans and the X-rays aren't too clear with all the swelling."

"His back was broken?" Dr. Cullen nodded. I'd love him regardless of his paralysis. We'd build wheelchair ramps to our house and I'd support him and do everything in my power to keep him from the depression. I couldn't lose him. "Do you know if he's paralyzed?" I asked.

"We won't know that until he wakes up," Dr. Cullen said. "I don't know if you're a religious person, Mrs. Newton, but if you are, now is as good a time as ever to pray," he said. I nodded.

"I don't think you need to see him like this. I think you should go see your father and start making travel plans to go to Seattle in the morning."

He was telling me that I shouldn't spend every precious second with my husband possible? I know he was a doctor, but who did he think he was? Mike was the man who made my life! I had never had a boyfriend before Mike. Mike was my first everything- my first kiss, my first slow dance, my first love. And I wanted him to be my last everything. How dare he suggest this? "I'll stay with my husband," I snapped. "My father isn't critical, but Mike is. I'll go with him on the helicopter."

"They can't take you on the helicopter," he said. "It's not like the ambulance. I'm sorry."

I clutched my stomach, and shivered. I hadn't thrown up much in my first trimester, but I wanted to vomit, now. I felt feverish, almost. I was going to lose precious time with him while they separated us on the life flight.

"Call the nurse if you need anything," he said, and exited the room. I went back to Mike's side. I ran my finger over his thumb, wishing it would raise goosebumps over his flesh like it did when we were alone together. I overheard Dr. Cullen saying to a nurse, "Watch Mrs. Newton, make sure she doesn't go into early labor."

_Well, fuck him_, I thought bitterly.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or  
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_**I watched as they wheeled Mike's gurney out across the street into the middle school's courtyard, where the noisy helicopter was waiting. Rosalie held my hand while the wind whipped my hair around my face. I tugged the jacket around my swollen belly.

"They're taking forever," I said.

"They're just making sure he's loaded in right," she said.

"This is my husband," I said, shortly.

"I know, Bella," she said, softly. This demeanor was so unlike Rose. She was usually a force to be reckoned with, but at this moment, she was kind and quiet.

Angela and Alice were inside. Angela was sitting with Charlie and her father, while Alice was probably in there, too, although I wasn't for certain. I hadn't seen my father yet, as selfish as that was. I'd feel bad about it later.

I watched as they finally locked the helicopter doors and took off in the dark. I watched until it was gone from sight. "Come on, let's go see Charlie," Rosalie said.

I shoved her away. "I wish everybody would stop telling me what to do!" I yelled.

"Bella," Rosalie said. "That's just the exhaustion talking."

I realized how horribly I had just behaved. I burst into tears. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"It's OK," Rosalie said, taking my hand. "It's water under the bridge."

Inside, I went in to see Charlie. He was surrounded by Alice, Jasper, Angela, Jacob and Reverend Weber. He was pretty doped up, his eyes were dilated, so the lights were down. He had to be in pain.

"Hi, Dad," I said, guiltily.

"How are you doing, Bells?" Charlie asked.

I shook my head before bursting into hot, salty tears, again. The corners of my eyes were getting chapped by now. Angela hopped up and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my forehead.

"I'm sorry, Bells," Charlie said. "I was sitting in the passenger seat, I closed my eyes, and suddenly… I'm sorry."

"They life-flighted him to Seattle," Rosalie said.

"We can go in the morning," Jacob said.

"No, let's go right now," I said.

"Bella, are you sure?" Jacob asked.

"I'll go, too," Jasper said. "We'll take my car. There's more room in the back. Bella, you can try to get some rest back there."

"I'll take her home to get some things packed," Rosalie said.

I stretched out in the backseat of the car while Jacob and Jasper conversed in hushed tones, glancing back at me in the rearview mirrors. I fought sleep because every time I closed my eyes, I saw what I imagined the wreck to be like.

One car hit them, flipping the SUV in the middle of the road. Then, they were balancing precariously on the roof. Then, another car came along at 50 miles an hour, smashing into the driver's side, killing Dave, and injuring Mike so badly he was going to die. It would happen so quickly, I tried to open my eyes and clear my head, but the images displayed in front of my opened eyes.

No, Mike wasn't going to die, they would perform the surgery on him and we'd go through the rehabilitation, and I'd get him well again. He'd be just fine. I'd love him well again.

Jasper turned on some music to distract me, and I finally did fall asleep.

When I woke up, I was at home. On my couch.

"Wait!" I cried. "What the hell?" I sat up and looked for the small wall clock. It was almost ten o'clock! I threw the throw blanket off of me.

"Bella?" Alice was in the kitchen. She ran out to me. "Oh, Bella!" tears welled up in her eyes.

"Alice?" I asked. "Why am I not in Seattle?"

"Bella, he didn't make it," she whispered. "Edward got the call from the hospital in Seattle. He died on the table. I called Jasper and had him turn around and bring you home. Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry!"

"No!" I shrieked. "No! This can't be happening! No! There has to be a mistake! No no no no no! Alice! Alice!" I dissolved into hysterical tears on the living room floor with Alice, hysterical, high-pitched screams coming out of my mouth. I shrieked out every bad word I knew, but it didn't dull the pain searing through my insides. Sobbing, I laid down on the floor. I don't know how long I laid there, crying, but my whole world went dark. And that was all I could remember.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or  
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_**I took a few flowers off the top of the casket and watched as they lowered it into the ground. I didn't want them being careless with it. My three best friends stood beside me, watching as my husband was returned to the earth.

Tears weren't coming. I was all cried out. I had cried so much in the past three days, I didn't know how I was going to do anything else. They had let me see him, but I had chosen to do a closed casket service because he looked so terrible. His head was completely shaved, there was a line stitched where the neurologists had cracked his head open. Death had done nothing for the bruises and abrasions and the swelling. His nose wasn't even recognizable.

I had put in a leave of absence at La Push High School's English Department. I wasn't going to return to work for a while. Charlie needed to be taken care of. Rebecca would probably want me to do a lot of the desk work that Mike and Dave did. I certainly couldn't do the lifting until after the baby was born. All I could think about was what needed to be done, now. I just wanted to keep busy.

I had baby clothes to put away and a baby room to paint and baby furniture to assemble and I had to do something with Mike's things. I couldn't stand to give them away, but I found myself fawning over them, holding them and remembering when he got a shot glass with me in Port Angeles, when I had Sex on the Beach with him at a tacky tourist trap bar or a candle I had lit when I seduced him the night I got pregnant. The swan-shaped tattoo he had on his right arm for me when we got married that he had drawn himself that was up on our refrigerator on a magnet. His clothes- I hadn't even picked out this outfit for today because I hated opening our closet, seeing his things. We had gone as Indiana Jones and Marion Ravenwood at Alice's Halloween Party, complete with the hat and whip. The Indiana Jones fedora was on the top shelf of our closet, it stared down at me, challenging me. Forget his "man cave." I spent as little time as I could in there, now. All his Indiana Jones and Star Wars movie posters, his sports pendants. His DVD sound system he spent an entire weekend cursing over and putting together, making me laugh when he hit his thumb with the hammer while hanging the speakers, when he cried a string of profanities. All his DVDs and CDs, his obsession with Weezer, his talking Cartman doll from South Park that I found tasteless but he found hysterical and quoted all the time. The couch smelled like him; it smelled like the beer he sometimes spilled on it and the cigarettes he sometimes sneaked outside in the garage, and would come in and swear he wasn't smoking, but the scent clung to his clothing. You know, smoking will kill you, Mike. I shuddered at those words. How stupid had I been to say something so carelessly?

Rebecca looked almost dead every time I saw her. Both her husband and her son in one night. She wasn't much better than me. Renée and Phil came up from Florida to see me and help me through this.

Charlie was still in the hospital. He couldn't do much for himself, he was in so much pain, still. Angela guided me back to Phil's rental car. The whole thing was over; the visitation, the funeral, all the food that was arriving at my house. Renée and Phil took me back to my house.

Angela met me at home helped me get out of my dress. When I got downstairs, Renée was baking a casserole that the Lutheran Women's group had made for me and put in the freezer. Phil had the TV on, watching ESPN.

"Sweetheart, I'm making dinner," Renée said. "You need to eat, being pregnant and all." She was acting like Mike was on a business trip or something.

"I know," I said. I had taken down all the offending pictures of Mike in the kitchen and bedroom. They all made me cry. She set down a plate of rolls in front of Angela and me.

"Here, you get first pick," Angela said, nudging the plate towards me.

I reached for it, although my manners were suffering since my husband's death. I took one of the rolls and bit into it. It didn't taste like anything to me. I heard the front door open. Alice and Jasper were here, finally.

"Hi, Bella," Alice called. She came through to the kitchen. "We brought Edward."

I stood up as Dr. Cullen came through the door. "Dr. Cullen," I began.

"Sorry, I know we didn't ask, he's just off today," Alice said. "He came to the funeral and was just going to go home and watch TV, so I thought it would be good for him to come and be with people for once."

He came to Mike's funeral? How many doctors did that? Why would he do that? "You'll have to forgive me, I'm not up for entertaining this evening, Dr. Cullen," I said.

"You can call me Edward," he said.

"Edward," I repeated. I had to remind myself that Edward tried to save my husband's life. I wanted to lash out at him, but it wasn't logical to do so.

"That's quite understandable, Mrs. Newton," he replied.

"As long as we're on a first-name basis, it's Bella," I said.

"I've always found that to be a lovely name," he said. Stuck up, I thought bitterly. You killed my husband.

I simply sat back down. Mike used to always tell me how my name meant Beautiful Swan in high school. I always rolled my eyes at that.

"… you'll have to excuse her, I'm her mother, Renée, would you like something to eat, Edward?" Renée was saying.

"Sure," Edward said. I played with the cheap Formica counter tops in our rented house's kitchen with my pinkie finger while Alice introduced Edward to everyone as they arrived. My thoughts all blended together into thoughts about Mike. My mind ran a mile a minute.

I stayed in the kitchen, not wanting to go into the living room when everybody was done eating. Renée and my girl friends stayed with me. We played a few games of cards while the boys watched some sports, but I personally felt like I was lost. I hardly paid attention to my cards and eventually left the game.

I was in a fog. A complete fog. I missed Mike so much.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or  
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_**Three months had passed.

Three months of being alone. I missed Mike so much. My friends tried to be around me as much as possible, but they couldn't leave behind their jobs. Phil had to go back to Jacksonville almost immediately, but Renée stayed with me for two weeks. She eased my loneliness for a while, but at the same time, drove me crazy. This was my house and I did things my way, but she wanted to reorganize things and change everything to be her way. I loved her, but she was better off in her own home. She tended to take over with little projects around me.

I was getting bigger and bigger. My friends kept on joking about how big I was going to get, as if I knew. I was already eight months, and I knew that I wasn't done growing, yet.

I was feeling apathetic towards this baby. I really felt numb, nothing at all. I'd seen the baby's ultrasounds, and felt nothing. I'd seen Mike's old pictures and just shrugged. I'd watch the news in the living room, surrounded by his old things.

Robot. That was the word that described me. Either that, or I was getting cynical.

Finances weren't easy. I tried not to spend money, but the rent and utilities ate up most of the house fund. As Charlie got out of the hospital, finally, I decided to move home with him. Jasper, Jacob and Emmett helped me to move my stuff either to a storage unit in Port Angeles or to Charlie's house. I took the baby stuff with me, since I was probably going to give birth while staying with him. Getting out of my lease helped a lot.

Charlie had rehab several days a week. I had to drive him all the way to Port Angeles and back. I cooked and at first, cleaned for him, until I started having problems getting up from kneeling on the bathroom floor to clean the tub because of the strain on my back. Angela came over from La Push to help with the cleaning after a while. Will ran around, asking questions and drawing scribble shapes on Charlie's casts.

Rebecca acted as if she didn't know me. I came to the store, and she hardly spoke to me. I hated it. I was carrying her grandchild.

I was grocery shopping while Charlie was napping one afternoon, and while I was trying to put my things into the trunk of my car with the ache in my hyper-extended pregnant back, a strong voice came up behind me. "You shouldn't be lifting that."  
I whirled (well, waddled) around to see who said that to me. It was Dr. Cull- Edward. "I'm just fine," I replied.

"Let me get it for you," he said, picking up the plastic sacks. "You moved in with your father, right?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes," I said.

"He's not able to help you carry this in," he said. "I'll come over and help you unload these."

"I don't think that's necessary, Doct- Edward," I said.

"How are you holding up, Bella?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I replied, albeit, shortly. He slammed the trunk.

"Where is it that you live?" he asked. I gave him the address. "OK, thanks."

"Do you even know where that is?" I asked.

"I have a Garmin," he replied. "I'll see you there. Only unload the lighter things, if anything. I'll get the rest."

I got in my car, rolling my eyes. He was being a little too knight in shining armor. I was going to have to tell Alice about this and see what she said and see if she thought it was funny. I sure didn't.

I got home, but there was already a shiny, silver Volvo already in the driveway as I pulled in. Edward stepped out.

"Hi," he said, getting out. "Let's see how quickly we can get this done."

"Don't you have patients to operate on?" I asked, sounding testy.

"I'm off today," he said. I rolled up my window and popped the trunk.

Edward took the bags into the house four at a time. Charlie was still napping.

"So, tell me, where does it all go?" he asked, looking around Charlie's little kitchen.

"Um, the cereal goes in that cabinet there," I said, pointing. "The eggs and the fruit can go in the fridge in the crisper. The canned goods can go in that cabinet to the left of the sink."

He put things away, dutifully, asking occasionally if I wanted things frozen or refrigerated. I knew it was bad manners not to offer him a beverage for his good deed.

"Edward, would you like a drink?" I asked once he was done.

"I can only stay for a little while," he said. "I'm going to meet someone in about an hour and I still have to get ready." Sounded like he was getting ready for a date with someone. I didn't want to hold the sexy, handsome, single doctor up.

"You've seen my refrigerator, what would you like?" I asked.

"Bottled water would be nice," he said.

"In a glass?" I asked. He seemed a lot like Carlisle and Esme, who never drank anything out of a bottle or a can. They always drank out of a glass.

"If it's not too much trouble," Edward said.

"So, tell me," I said, getting some ice. "Are you related to Carlisle or Esme?"

"Carlisle," he said. "He's my Dad's brother."

"Have a seat," I said. He went over to our little kitchen table and sat down. I looked over at him. He seemed like a male model, a little too out of place in such a cheap setting. "It must be weird have two Dr. Cullens at the hospital."

"They've resorted to paging me as Dr. Edward," he said, offering a half-smile. I almost found him cute. I wanted to hate him for not saving my husband's life, but Carlisle, Alice and Esme told me that he did all he could. They even told me that the doctors in Seattle were impressed with his diagnosis of Mike, given the limited CT scan in the Forks hospital. I set the glass of iced water down in front of him.

"How did you end up in Forks?" I asked.

"Quite by accident," he said, sipping his water. "I was accepted in an ER doctor residency program, and it randomly assigned me to a hospital. I ended up in Forks, which was funny. I had only been here a few times to visit my Aunt and Uncle before when I was in high school. I hadn't been back since I went to college. It hasn't changed much"

"What made you choose being an ER doctor?" I asked.

"I could practice several branches of medicine at once," he said. "It's quite exciting. Well, enough about me. How are you doing?"

"I'm hanging in there," I said. "I keep busy, taking care of my dad."

"How is he?"

"He's out of his casts, walking with a cane," I said. "His left knee hurts a lot from the break."

"I would expect so," he said. "What do you when you're not taking care of him?"

"I got my Master's in English when I lived in Seattle," I said. "So, when Mike got his degree in business and moved home to Forks to work in his father's store, I applied for a teaching position with the local high schools. I was teaching English to the ninth and tenth grade in La Push at the time of the accident. I haven't been back since. They don't want me back because I'm giving birth so soon, and the school year's almost over."

"You're OK talking about Mike?"

"Yes," I said. "Are you surprised by that?" I challenge him.

"Somewhat," he replied. "But, everybody mourns differently."

"I suppose," I replied.

"Well, thank you for the water, Bella," he said. "I really must be going, now. I hope I'll see you around. Good luck with everything."

"Thank you, Edward," I said. I showed him out the door.  


* * *

_**A/N- Well, I'm sure you've all noticed how Bella has a stick up her butt. She's just mourning the loss of Mike, but she's being very selfish and thinking only about herself. Our dear Bella Newton has forgotten her manners! Somebody's going to have to give her an attitude adjustment, soon! At least she made nice with Edward.**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or  
_**

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_**While I was trying to reach for something without the step stool in the kitchen one morning, my water broke. At first, I thought I had wet myself. I was alone in the kitchen, and I thought, Great, another thing to add to the list of humiliations of pregnancy, but when I stepped away to assess the damage, the puddle was clear, almost pink, not yellow on the linoleum.

"Charlie!" I yelled, forgetting to call him 'Dad.' "Charlie, my water just broke!"

"Huh?" Charlie asked from the living room. He had been watching a game on TV. "Bells? Do you need me to call an ambulance?" He wasn't driving, yet. I heard him groan as he struggled to stand.

"No, Dad, I'll call one of my friends," I said.

Alice was alphabetically first on my phonebook, so I called her. "Hello?"

"Alice, it's me, Bella," I said.

"Bella, sit down," Charlie ordered, limping into the kitchen.

I sat down on one of the chairs. "Alice, I think my water just broke."

Alice audibly gasped. "Sit right there, I'm leaving the café, I'll come and get you!" she cried.

"Alice is coming to get us," I said. "Dad, I got to get the baby bag."

"I'll get it," Charlie said, shuffling off. "You stay there."

I stood up to get the mop out- I couldn't leave that puddle of water on the kitchen floor. It was dangerous- someone might slip on it. Charlie came back in with the bag I had had packed for the hospital. "Bells, what are you doing?" he cried.

"Somebody's got to clean this up!" I cried. At that moment, I had a contraction. I cried out in pain, dropping the mop. It felt like a hot knife raking my insides. I wasn't prepared for this. I hadn't taken Lamaze or anything in anticipation of this baby's birth. Whenever anybody tried to talk to me about it, I just sneered, I don't want to talk about it and that shut them up. At this very moment, I wish I knew the magic of Lamaze.

"Contraction?" Charlie asked.

No duh! I wanted to shout, but this was my father, I couldn't be this rude with him. "Yeah," I said, clutching my stomach.

"Sit down, Bells," he said. I followed his directions. "Do you want me to call the Cullens? The McCartys? Jake and Angie?"

"Yeah, if you would, please," I said, the contraction subsiding.

He got out his cell phone and started dialing, calling Renée first, then the Cullens and so on. Alice actually arrived with Mark Hetsler in his Police Cruiser, his siren on and his lights flashing.

Alice ran into the house. "Bella?" she called. "Oh, thank God! Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," I said. "Why is Mark here?"

"I got pulled over for speeding," Alice admitted, sheepishly. "He's going to be our police escort."

"Come on, Bella," Mark said.

Alice helped me into the car and Charlie hobbled out behind us. "Who's going to be in the delivery room with her?" Alice asked. "Me or you, Charlie?"

"I've done this a few times before," Charlie said. "When the blizzard came through in '99, Stella Collins gave birth, and I had to do it with Carlisle on my cell phone. I can handle the blood."

"Oh God," I muttered, mortified. My father would be watching me give birth.

"I won't look if you don't want me to," Charlie said. "I'll just hold your hand. I wish you had let people discuss this with you."

That irritated me. "This is no time for a lecture, Charlie," I snapped.

"Your personality's really changed since Mike died," Alice grumbled.

"I'm in labor!" I yelled.

"I'll give you that," Alice replied.

"I went through this with Renée," Charlie said. "She's going to be like this until after it's all over and she's had a chance to rest. This could go on for three days."

"Oh no," Alice groaned.

In the ER, I was checked in and wheeled into labor and delivery. To my mortification, Dr. Edward came into say hello once I was changed into my hospital gown.

"Your obstetrician is on the way," he said. "How far apart are her contractions?"

"Three minutes," Charlie said.

He looked at some of my read outs. "Are you going to do natural childbirth or epidural?"

"Epidural," I said.

"It looks like you're healthy enough for it," he said. "You should be alright for that, everything looks great."

"Good," Charlie said.

"She's progressing pretty quickly," he said. "Dr. Carter will be here soon to take over. I'll check back on you. Good luck, Bella."

"Thanks," I said, remembering my manners.

After a few contractions that were closer together, I swore I felt Mike's hand on mine. Hot tears rushed down my cheeks. "Dad," I said, softly. "Can you tell Alice I'm sorry for the way I acted on the ride over?"

"I'm sure she'll forgive you," Charlie said. "I'll go say hi." He limped off to the waiting room. For the first time since the funeral, I began to cry. More out of sadness than anything. Mike wasn't here for his son's birth. He wouldn't teach him how to play baseball, how to ride a bike, to take him camping, or to show him how to shave for the first time. He wouldn't be here to cut the cord, he wouldn't be here to press his face up to the nursery glass and point our baby out to all our friends, he wouldn't rush out to hold up our son and show him off to everybody. I couldn't take on the daunting task of mother and father. How was I going to do it?

Angela and Jacob came into the room.

"Hi, Bells," Jacob said, seeing me crying. He had engine grease all over his hands that he had wiped off hastily. He must have just left the shop.

"Hi," I said, my mouth thick with tears.

"Are you excited?" he asked.

"I'm scared," I said.

"Of course you are," Angela said, sitting on the bed. "It's very scary."

"It hurts," I said.

"I know," Angela whispered, patting my leg. She had gained weight, recently, I noticed. "It feels like somebody's twisting a knife if your stomach, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," I said.

"I can stay with you while you give birth," Jacob said. "It's weird having your dad be your coach, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I said. "You don't have to."

"You've got a whole waiting room full of people who love you and who are willing to do it for you," Angela offered. I had another contraction, Ang grabbed my hand. I squeezed until the pain subsided.

"Thank you," I muttered.

"This is one of the best experiences in your life," Angela said, stroking away the tears on my cheeks. "Just remember, you're never alone."

"I know," I said, softly.

The labor and delivery staff finally administered the epidural on me, which was a great relief. Charlie came into the room. "Alice just laughed when I told her you were sorry," he said. "It's water under the bridge, honey."

"Good," I said, relaxing. Dr. Carter came in to check on me. They took me into the delivery room a few pain-filled hours later, I was fully dilated.

Charlie came in with me. It was time for me to push, but even with the epidural, I could still feel it a little bit.

"I thought I wasn't supposed to be able to feel it!" I shouted.

"Every body is different," Dr. Carter told me. Charlie held my hand and I watched in the mirror as the baby came out. "It's a girl!"

"What?" I cried as Dr. Carter slapped her slightly on the butt. The baby screamed. "The ultrasound said it was a boy!"

"It's a girl," Charlie said.

"The umbilical cord can look like a penis on an ultrasound, sometimes," he said. "It's a definitely girl."

"But, I have a whole room full of blue waiting at home!" I cried. "And I was going to name him after his father- her father!"

A sense of disappointment and exhaustion washed over me. A girl? Mike and I had made all these plans for a son. Michael Eugene Newton Junior just couldn't be turned into a girl's name. I had no name for my baby. I hadn't put a bit of thought into naming my baby if she was a girl.

They handed her to me in a towel. She wouldn't stop screaming and she was covered in goo and was almost green. She had the face of an old man. On TV, babies were pretty and pink and chubby and cute. My baby was ugly.

"Come on, Bells, be happy," Charlie said. "She beautiful!"

I caught a reflection at my face in the mirror. I looked horrified, disgusted. A new mother shouldn't look horrified at her new child. What was wrong with me?


	8. Chapter 8

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or  
_**

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_**In the recovery room, the labor and delivery nurse helped me to learn how to properly breastfeed and burp her. "Do you have a name for her, yet?" she asked.

"I was expecting a boy," I said. "I don't know."

"Oh," she said. "You'll figure it out."

After the breastfeeding, they took her back to the nursery. I took a nap and when I woke up, Rosalie and Emmett were quietly checking their PDA phones for email.

"Hi, Bella," Emmett said. "She's beautiful!"

"Oh, thanks," I said.

"What's the matter? You don't sound very enthusiastic," Rosalie said.

"Let's go see her," Emmett said. I got up out of the bed and put on a robe. We went down to the nursery and they started taking pictures of her with their camera phones. She laid in a plastic crib, screaming and waving her little fists. "She looks like you," Emmett said.

"She looks like Winston Churchill," I said.

"Oh come on, Bella, get excited!" Rosalie said. "It's a baby! A beautiful baby girl, and she's got your lips! And a widow's peak- she's going to have your heart-shaped face! Isn't that great?"

"She's ugly and she looks like me?" I asked.

"She's not ugly!" Rose cried. "She's gorgeous!"

"Mike's very proud right now," Emmett said. Why did he have to bring up Mike?

"Hi, Bella," a deep, velvety voice said behind me.

"Hi, Edward!" Rosalie said, turning around.

"So, I see you gave birth," he said. "Which one is he?"

"It turned out to be a girl, actually," I said. "Second one on the left."

"What's her name?" he asked.

"I haven't named her, yet," I said.

"You'll come up with something amazing," Edward said.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," I mumbled. "I have a pile of blue baby clothes at home."

"Alice will take them all back to Baby'R'Us and Carter's Children's Wear in Port Angeles if you don't want to go," Rosalie said. "Girls can wear blue, anyway."

Rose and I went for a walk through the hospital so I could get some more feeling back in my body after the epidural. When I got back, I overheard Emmett telling Edward that I was going through some depression and not reacting like a normal mother would. Edward told him that they all needed to watch out for postpartum with me. I rolled my eyes. The baby needed nursing, again. I had considered formula feeding, because this might actually be a giant pain in the ass to breastfeed.

I got home from the hospital the next day with my new baby. She still didn't have a name. Thankfully, someone had cleaned up the kitchen.  
There was a welcome home party waiting for us. As Rose had said, Alice and Esme had gone to Port Angeles and exchanged all my blue baby clothes and towels for pink and yellow and green. Esme had gone and bought a nice, expensive breast pump for me for when I went back to work so the baby could continue to drink breast milk and not formula.

"So," Angela began. "How is motherhood, so far?"

I shrugged. "I just want a sip of that champagne," I said. "It's been nine months since I've had a drink."

"Here, but you should limit yourself, you know. You are breastfeeding, right?" she asked, getting me a flute.

"Yeah, don't you want some?" I asked.

Angela bit her lip and tears welled up in her eyes. It all made sense, now. She wasn't normally an overly emotional person like this.

"Oh, Ang," I said. "When did you find out?"

"About two months ago," she said. "Jake and I have been keeping it a secret. We think it happened right before Mike died. We didn't want to tell you, it's been such a difficult time-"

"What's been so difficult?" I asked.

"We weren't sure how you'd react," she said, wiping her eyes.

"I'm reacting just fine," I said. "Why is everybody so concerned?"

"It's just the way you're treating your baby," she said. "That's concerning me. You haven't given her a name, yet."

"Fine then, you name her," I replied.

"Bella, you don't really want somebody else naming your child-"

"I can't decide," I said.

"OK," Angela said. "OK, I'll do it."

I talked to a few of my friends from school. A few minutes later, Angela and Jacob promptly approached me. "I've got a name for her. Michelle Jeannette."

"I understand Michelle, but why Jeannette?"

"You were going to name her Eugene. Eugenia's an ugly name, anyways, but now, you can call her Jeannie," Angela said.

"I like it," Jake said. "Little Jeannie Newton. It's cute."

"Alright, I'll name her that," I said.

"Everybody, I got an announcement, the baby's finally been named!" Jacob yelled. The baby began to cry from where she had been sleeping in Carlisle's arms. "Michelle Jeannette Newton. Bella's going to call her Jeannie."

"Thanks, Jake," I muttered, going over to Carlisle to see Jeannie. Carlisle was rocking her, trying to get her to stop crying.

The party went back to normal.

As I was sitting alone on the screened in back porch, sipping some punch, I heard another car come up and I heard two car doors slam. Two people were talking. I looked out to see who it was. It was Jessica Stanley and Edward Cullen. She was holding a diaper genie with a pink bow on it and they were walking so close to each other, it looked like they were together, they were standing so closely. Like, dating together. Alice came out to the back porch and saw what I was looking at.

"Oh, so you're finally seeing the great new couple of Forks," Alice said.

"Well, Jessica seems like a good match for him," I said. Jessica hadn't been raised as poor as most people in Forks. Her father was a dentist, he had money. She never had to work in high school and she had her own car when she turned sixteen, like Rose and Alice. Rosalie's father was a high-powered lawyer in Seattle who came home on the weekends to be with his family. High-paying jobs didn't exist around here.

"I don't know about that," Alice said. "She just doesn't seem that interested in him. She's looking for a better job away from here, if she finds one, I don't think she'll stick around for Edward. They're not official or anything."

"Hmm," I said.

"Why, are you interested in him?" Alice asked. I could hear the excitement in her voice. Alice liked playing matchmaker.

"Alice," I said. "I don't think I'm ever having sex again." I told myself that I could never find anybody sexually attractive after Mike. It was too soon. I had to change the subject. "Has Rebecca been invited?" Rebecca hadn't shown up to the hospital at all. It was like she was ignoring that fact that she had a grandchild.

"I left a message on her voicemail," Alice said.

"Oh," I said. I had left messages on her voicemail for weeks trying to get together with her for lunch just to see how she was doing, but I never got a callback from her. Jessica suddenly appeared on the back porch.

"Hi, Bella!" she cried. She had put the diaper genie down in the house. "I heard you named her!" She bent down to hug and kiss me. "She's such a pretty baby!"

"Everybody says that," I said. "I don't see it."

"You'll see it, soon enough," Jessica said. "Jeannie Newton. It has a ring to it. I love it."

"Who's got her, right now?" Alice asked.

"One of Bella's teacher friends," Jessica said. "You won't have to worry about a lack of baby-sitters."

I hoped not.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or  
_**

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_**I woke up to a screaming baby. This kid was waking me up all the time, and I hardly slept at all since I came home from the hospital. The crib was across the room from my bed, Charlie didn't have a third bedroom in his house. I was so glad that all I had had to do was roll out of bed and there she was. I picked her up and checked her diaper. She had a shitty diaper. God, if this kid didn't go through more diapers.

Taking her out to the changing table in the hallway, I took the diaper off of her, and noticed that her diaper rash wasn't getting any better. I had used Boudreaux's Butt Paste on her, the stuff that Angela said worked really well on Will, but it wasn't helping her. It was getting worse as I cleaned her off with the baby wipes. She kept on screaming, something in the baby wipes had to be irritating her skin.

"Damnit," I muttered, looking at the package. "These are supposed to be for sensitive skin!"

Charlie came out of his room. "Is she still screaming?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "This rash seems to keep getting worse."

"She's got an allergy," he said, examining her. "She's allergic to something in the disposable diapers. You'll need to go with cloth diapers."

"Oh God," I moaned. How gross. I was going to have to clean cloth diapers full of baby shit instead of just tossing them in the garbage. "Dad!"

"I know," he said. "I think we got a few as back up from your baby shower somewhere, didn't we?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said. "Watch her, I'll go find them."

I went to my room and sorted through the mess of baby things. Finally, I found the cloth diapers and I finally found some safety pins. I came back out, and Charlie had calmed Jeannie down to a few whimpers. "How did you do that?" I asked.

"It's all in your own personal attitude," he said. "Babies can sense that."

I quickly put the diaper on Jeannie, pinning it in place. I was going to have to go out and buy some more cloth diapers and large safety pins in the morning. "When will this nightmare ever end?" I groaned.

"Bella, raising a child shouldn't be a nightmare!" Charlie cried.

"It is without my husband," I said, picking her up. She started crying again. We had only been home two days and this was only getting worse and worse. I settled in the rocking chair that Jake had built. I took off the strap of my tank top, exposing my breast to nurse her, and I realized that Charlie had followed me into the room. I had just flashed my dad. Super.

"Bella, this is your daughter," Charlie said.

I ignored him, since Jeannie was still crying as I tried to angle my nipple into her mouth. "Will you please shut up?" I begged her.

"Don't tell your child to shut up!" Charlie cried. I glared at him. "I know it's tough living without Mike, but you can't treat her like this just because she's a reminder of him. She's a person, too. She'll grow up and have all sorts of relationship problems because she'll know how much you resent her."

Jeannie finally started nursing. I was so glad she was hungry, she finally stopped crying. "Finally," I muttered.

"Mike wouldn't want this," Charlie muttered, turning to gimp out of the room.

The very guilt trip concerning Mike made my blood boil. "How dare you!" I yelled. Jeannie detached from me, and started whimpering. "Damnit!" I muttered.

Charlie turned back around. "You know, Bells, you're not the only one who's lost someone, here," he said. "You're being really selfish. I loved Mike like my own son. As gruff as Dave was, he became like a brother to me when you got engaged. We were like a family. I hadn't been part of a big family in years, and I finally was back in one. I was there when Dave died, I saw Mike when that car hit us. We've been letting you take it out on everybody around you. You've been chilly and mean and rude, but taking it out on a defenseless baby is unacceptable!"

"I'm not taking it out on her!" I snapped, trying to get Jeannie to take my breast again. She wasn't having it. "How dare you lecture me!"

"If you're so unhappy, just leave her with me, get in your car and go wherever it is your heart desires. I'm not going to let you treat my granddaughter like something that has to be dealt with, like a carcinoma or something," he said. "She's a gift from God. She's a miracle. I never treated you like that. Your attitude needs to change, now."

"Get out of my room," I snapped, although I sounded like a sullen teenager.

"It's my house," he replied. "You have until morning to make up your mind." He was serious. He slammed the door, I heard him limping back into his bedroom, slamming his door, too.

Jeannie kept on crying in my arms. I pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes. The stubborn side of me hated to admit it. I had no excuse for my behavior. Did I resent my daughter because she was part of Mike? And Mike had left me. Maybe I was really mad at Mike for dying. I felt fresh tears slide down my nose and onto her. The me from four months ago wouldn't recognize the person sitting here today. Mike certainly wouldn't. Charlie was right. Mike wouldn't want me acting like this. This wasn't the person Mike had fallen in love with. Mike wasn't around, but I knew he wouldn't want me to be an ugly-hearted person who disliked our baby. I had failed Mike. I was suddenly ashamed of myself.

My tears falling on Jeannie seemed to stop her from crying. Her eyes opened up and looked up at me. They were a clear, crystal blue, like Mike's. "I'm sorry, Jeannie," I whispered. She finally took my breast again, as if to say, it's ok, Mommy. I turned the light down beside me. She nursed, quietly, while I rocked her.

I couldn't believe that I had insultingly said that she looked like Winston Churchill. Her eyes were so pretty. She did have a pretty mouth. I guess I didn't know anything about babies after all. Babies were supposed to look like little old men at first. It was actually kinda cute, in a funny way. I propped her up and burped her before switching sides. For the first time, I kissed my baby's head, stroking her hair as she finished. Leaning on my shoulder to burp, I rocked her until she fell asleep.

For the first time, I could say that I loved my baby.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  
_**

**_

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_**

This was the third time I had come by Newton Outfitters to try to see Rebecca with Jeannie. Most of the time, she wasn't there, conveniently. Charlie and I had had a long talk the morning after our blow up over Jeannie. We both broke down and I apologized to him, and he apologized to me, too. Things were unusually quiet, but emotional in our house. I cried at everything, much to Charlie's concern, but I began to adore Jeannie. She was actually pretty great, now that she was in cloth diapers. Cloth diapers weren't that bad to clean up, anyways.

Isaac Weber was putting out the newest stock of hiking boots when I came in with Jeannie.

"Hey, Bella!" he cried, rushing over. "How's she doing?"

"Oh, she's good," I said. "Do you want to hold her for a moment? I'm just looking for Rebecca."

"Oh," he said, looking a little guilty, taking Jeannie. "She said not to be disturbed in her office."

"This is the third time," I said. "She hasn't even seen Jeannie, yet."

"Really?" he asked, his eye brows arching. "Oh."

"Well, I'm sure she has a lot to do," I said, realizing that I had just taxed him with family information that wasn't really any of his business, although I'm sure he'd hear it from Angela.

"Not that much," he muttered, rocking Jeannie. "Man, she's tiny!"

"Yeah, she was six pounds, one ounce," I said. "Can I see Rebecca?"

"I'll check," he said, giving Jeannie back to me. I walked around the store for a few minutes.

"Hello, Bella," I looked up to see Edward Cullen standing by the tent display.

"Hi, Edward," I said.

"You and Jeannie on an outing today?" he asked.

"Yeah, we came by to see her grandmother," I said. "If she's up to it."

"Oh," he said.

"Are you looking for something in particular?" I asked. I knew the layout of the store pretty well.

"I'm not familiar with these brands of tents," he admitted.

"OK," I said. "The Coleman tents, they're good if you're pitching your tents on really rocky ground. You want to lay something like an air mattress under yourself, though if you're on a lot of rock. The Bitrate tents, they're good for beach camping, like on sand, but they're not too terribly water repellent but they'll do the job in light rain. The Hooper brand is really good at keeping the wind and rain out in a heavy downpour."

"Do you camp a lot?" he asked.

"Mike and I did," I admitted. "I haven't been hiking or anything since I got pregnant. I may have to wait until I wean her before I do it, again. How many people are you taking with you on this trip?"

"Just me," he said. "I need to get away from the world for a while."

"Oh," I said. "Then, you should go with the Hooper two-person tent. It's small, but does the job. That's the smallest one they carry, here."

"Thanks," Edward said.

"Bella, are you stealing my commission?" Isaac asked, returning.

"No, Isaac, you can ring him up," I said. "What did she say?" I asked.

Isaac shook his head. "Sorry."

"Oh," I said. "Well, Jeannie, let's go visit Carlisle and Esme."

"I was just about to go over there," Edward said. "Do you want to ride together?"

"Sure," I said.

I went to my car to get the diaper bag and the car seat while Edward got rung up. I put Jeanne in the car seat while I waited on Edward.

"Ready to go?" Edward asked, putting his sunglasses on.

"Yes," I said. He used a remote to unlock his car and helped me get Jeannie buckled in the backseat properly. Then, he helped me into the front passenger seat.

Jeannie fell asleep on the ride over.

"Edward," I began. "I want to apologize for how I acted when I first met you. I was being very selfish."

"Oh," he said. "I understand. Mourning process." He sounded nonchalant. He did understand. I breathed a sigh of relief. "So, how has she been doing? Everything going OK? Are you doing formula or breastfeeding?"

"Breastfeeding," I said. "She tends to spit up when she burps, but I think maybe I'm sitting her up too fast. My dad figured out that she's allergic to disposable diapers, though."

"So, you had to go to cloth diapers?" he asked.

"Yes. She's much happier, now," I said. "I showed her herself in the mirror, and her eyes got really big. I think she recognized herself."

"Maybe. Her sight isn't that well developed, yet," Edward said. "Has her belly button fallen off, yet?"

"Not yet," I said. "My mom says I should save it for her scrapbook, but I don't know when I'm going to have time to scrapbook."

"I don't know when moms have time to scrapbook, either," he said. "they're always so busy. There's always so much to do with kids."

"I know, I've only been a mom for ten days," I said. I realized a smile had inched its way across my face. This was the first natural smile I recognized in months. He pulled into the almost hidden driveway to the Cullen's house.

"I'm sure it gives you a whole new respect for parenthood," he said.

"You're not a father, are you?" I asked. I couldn't remember if Alice had said if had been married before or not.

"No, no," he said.

"Where are you originally from?" I asked. "I don't quite recognize your accent."

"Chicago," he said. "A suburb of Chicago. You're not originally from here, are you?"

"Well, I was born here, but my Mom and Dad divorced when I was a baby, and my Mom took me to Riverside, California to be with her parents for a while. After that, she moved us to Phoenix, and when she remarried when I was seventeen, I moved here to live with my Dad," I said. "I finished my last two years of high school here."

"That makes sense," he said. We pulled up in front of the Cullen's house. "Here we are."

He around to my side of the car quickly and helped me out. I got Jeannie out in her car seat, not bothering to unbuckle her.

Esme met us at the door. "Oh, what a surprise!" she squealed. "My nephew, Bella and Jeannie! Welcome!" She ushered us inside and took Edward's rain coat. Mine was a little more tricky to get off while holding a car seat. "What a day! All three of you, coming over for a visit!"

I set a blanket down on the floor to lay Jeannie on. She woke up amidst the action. Carlisle came downstairs from his study when he heard Jeannie's wake-up cries.

"There she is!" Carlisle cried. "Babies change so much so quickly!"

"Bella, you know you can always call me if you need anything or any advice," Esme said. "Any time of the day or night."

"Thanks," I said.

"She's like a daughter to us," Carlisle explained to Edward. "She became one of Alice's best friends when she came to live in Forks. She was over here all the time the last two years of high school."

"Oh, so, you're like a cousin to me?" Edward asked.

"No, not quite," I said, blushing when I saw the smile on his face.

"No more than Rosalie and Angela," Esme said. "So, has Jeannie done anything that's amazed you, yet?"

"You were telling me on the way over," Edward said, "that she recognized herself in the mirror."

"Oh, let's see if she does it right now," Esme said, getting up.

"Dear, don't get up," Carlisle said.

"Oh, I need to get drinks for everybody," Esme said.

"No, I'm fine," I said.

"Me too," Edward replied.

Jeannie grunted. She probably wanted to nurse. I picked her up off the floor and took one of the throw blankets off the couch to cover up with.

"I see you've switched over to cloth diapers," Carlisle said. "That's very good for her, and the environment."

"Yeah," I said. "They're not as bad as I thought they'd be."

"Is Renée coming up to visit, soon?" Esme asked.

"Yes, next weekend," I asked. "She also wants me to fly down to Jacksonville with the baby, soon."

"She can stay with us, instead of having to go to Port Angeles for a hotel," Esme said.

"Thanks," I said.

"Hotel Cullen, open for business," Carlisle joked. "You're going to do all the work, since this was your offer."

Esme rolled her eyes. "Edward, how's the house on beach working out?"

"I love it. I just wish I could spend more time there," he said.

"You have a beach house?" I asked.

"Yes, I do," he said. "A cottage. I love the water. I grew up less than a mile from Lake Michigan."

"He was on the sailing team in college," Carlisle said.

"It was basically an excuse to get drunk," Edward said. I actually giggled. Edward smiled, too. "I went to undergrad in a landlocked state. The sailing team was just a joke. But, I feel more relaxed when I'm by the water."

"Where did you go for undergrad?" I asked.

"U of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana," he said.

I nodded. Jeannie was ready to be burped and switched to the other side. I had to be careful, because I had gotten so good at switching that I would go too fast and that's when she'd spit up. We were sitting on Esme's nice couch.

"Have you heard from Angela, recently?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah, she's doing pretty well. They think she's having a girl, although I don't put any stock in ultrasounds anymore," I said, patting Jeannie's back. She burped healthily. I changed her to the other side, carefully. "At least when it comes to predicting the sex of the baby."

"Well, it's imperfect, at best," Edward admitted.

"So, how long are you here for, Edward?" I asked.

"The program stations me in one area for three years," he said. "It's a six-year program. It's good program to be involved with for a new doctor, because I get two weeks paid vacation my first two years. I get three weeks paid vacation starting this year. Everyone gets one week of personal time, and a week's worth of sick leave standard. And, I only have to work anywhere from fifty to sixty hours a week when I'm not on call."

"You work that much?" I asked.

"For what ER doctors get paid, it's really not that bad," Carlisle said. "It's exclusive, to say the least. They don't accept just anybody. When I heard that Metro Hospitals were investing in it, I told Edward about it. It wasn't such a bad program, really. The Baptist and St. Thomas hospitals weren't investing in it, but it was placing residents in great locations."

"I'm glad I'm in Metro Hospitals," Edward said. "Although the Catholic Hospitals are pretty nice, too."

"I agree. When Metro bought the Forks County Hospital, I thought it was odd, but it's worked out pretty well," Carlisle agreed.

"I'm learning a lot," Edward said. "I just spent three years in Baltimore before this."

"How was that?" I asked.

"Baltimore isn't that bad," he said. "Carlisle and Esme had to help me get set up when I moved out here. I'm glad I had Rosalie Hale's help with Real Estate." Rose used Hale as a professional name, but signed all her checks as McCarty, though.

"I didn't know she helped you move," I said.

"Oh yeah, she did everything for me," he said. "She was great."

"She was one of my bridesmaids and threw my baby shower," I said.

"I noticed she's was a shrewd businesswoman," Edward commented. Jeannie was done with the other side. I picked her up and slowly set her head on my shoulder with the burp rag. She burped almost on command.

"So, what are you going to do after this?" I asked.

"We'll just see where the path follows," Edward said, shrugging.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  
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All my attempts to contact Rebecca were failing. She avoided me and Jeannie. I wanted to scream at her that this was her granddaughter. Why didn't she want to see her?

Renée did come visit and stayed with the Cullens. Phil had to stay and finish coaching for the summer, but Renée bought an airline ticket from Seattle to Jacksonville for me so Phil could see Jeannie.

Esme threw a elegant barbeque in honor of Renée coming to town and invited all my friends, and Rebecca. Guess who didn't come.

Renée spent the whole day holding Jeannie while chatting up with my friends. She was perfectly at home being the young, pretty grandma.

Inside, while Angela, Alice, Rose and I were relaxing with some lemonade, we planned Angela's next baby shower. I was a little uptight, thinking about what had happened the last time we had had a girls-only baby shower.

"Let's have Jake there, too, this time," I said, nervously.

"We'll keep him close by," Angela said.

"Have you heard anything from Rebecca?" Rosalie asked.

"No," I said. "I was going by the store, trying to see her, but she won't see me. I've written her notes, I don't know, she avoids us."

"It's pretty bad, Bella," Angela said. "Isaac was let go."

"What?" I cried. "Why?"

"The store's failing," she said. "Rebecca's so depressed, she's gone nuts. She'll make the stock boys do the same job over and over again until she's satisfied with it, and then they'll come in, and she's double ordered it again from the suppliers. Most of them have quit because their paychecks started bouncing. Isaac told me what's been going on."

"Is that why she's not seeing me?" I cried.

"Maybe she thinks you're trying to take over for her," Angela said. "And that's why she doesn't want to see you. Paranoia can do that."

"But, I just want to let her see her grandchild!" I cried. "I don't know anything about business! I have a hard enough time balancing my checkbook!"

"She's lost her son and her husband all at once, Bella," Angela said. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost Jake and Will at once."

There was a lot of stock in Angela's words. She had gotten her masters in psychology before she had gotten pregnant and come home to La Push to get married to Jacob. I knew that I had been a complete bitch to everyone when I lost Mike. And I was still a bit depressed, now. But, I already loved Jeannie so much, I knew that I'd lay down on railroad tracks if anything happened to her, too.

After we planned some games and a tropical beach baby theme for the baby shower, I went outside. Carlisle was standing over the grill, sweating over the hamburgers and veggie patties and my teacher friends had their kids running around with Emmett, playing with water guns, screaming. Renée was hold court with Jeannie in her lap and the rest of my friends from La Push High and Sue Weber were all listening to her tell a story about me as a kid. Charlie was sitting with Billy and a few of the men from the reservation and the Forks PD, drinking beers. Jasper was helping Esme with keeping the food covered until time to eat. I saw Jessica come in through the back entrance to the backyard with a Pampered Chef stonewear tray of brownies.

"Hi, Jess," I said.

"Hi, Bella!" she cried. "Sorry, I'm late!"

"Is Edward with you?" I asked.

"No, why?"

"I thought he was coming," I said.

"I don't know. I'll call him," she said. "Did you think we were exclusive or something?"

"No," I said.

"It's been six months, it's OK if you're ready to start dating, again," she said.

"No, not quite," I admitted.

"I think Edward would be perfect for you!" she cried.

"Didn't you go out with him?" I asked.

"A couple of times, yes," she said. "We don't have that much in common, though. I'm seeing somebody who lives in Port Angeles, now. Exclusively."

"Oh," I said.

"You've lost your baby weight. You come down to the hospital sometime and we'll find a cute dress or something that you can wear-"

"Jessica, I'm not going to come on to him," I said, blushing.

"It's OK if you do," she said. "I think he likes you."

"I've got a kid," I said. "I'm widowed. He's not going to go after a widow. And, I don't have a job, I'm one step away from food stamps. What doctor is going to go after a girl who doesn't have a career and practically is on welfare?"

"Prince Charming," Jessica said.

"Royalty, he is not," I said. "And I am not Cinderella."

"Let me put this down, this stonewear is heavy," she said.

"ROAR!" Jessica and I both jumped. About ten little kids came running from behind the shed.

"AHHH!" the kids screamed. Emmett came out from behind the shed, chasing them, his arms outstretched like Frankenstein, his legs stiff, unbending. I saw Rosalie roll her eyes and smile and turn back to her conversation. Emmett was so cute. He was going to make an incredibly cute goofy dad one day.

After Carlisle slowed down on the grill and everybody had something to eat, and all the kids dogpiled on Emmett, we lit the tiki torches to keep the mosquitoes away as the sun went down. It was pleasant.

"Are you having a good time?" I asked Renée.

"I'm having a blast!" Renée said. "Your friends are so fun! If I can just keep all their names straight!"

"Guess who's here," Jessica hissed in my ear. I forgot our earlier conversation for a moment, but I turned around to see Edward Cullen entering with a six pack of beer, talking to Carlisle.

"Better late than never."


	12. Chapter 12

**_Disclaimer-Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  
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"What was that all about?" Renée asked.

"Nothing," I muttered.

She craned around to see what Jessica whom referring to. She saw Edward and nodded. "He's cute!" she whispered.

"Mom!" I blushed.

"I'm just saying!" she said.

"It's only been a six months," I said.

"Who is he?" she asked.

"Dr. Cullen's nephew, the other Dr. Cullen," Jessica said, her eyes lighting up. She always did like a good bit of gossip.

"He's a doctor, he's good-looking and he's single?" Renée asked. "How did that happen?" She giggled.

"It's not a mystery, Mom," I said.

"Is he gay?" Renée asked. I gasped, and Jessica chuckled.

"I don't think so," Jessica said. "We never quite got to first base, though."

"Are you with him, um…?"

"Jessica," Jessica said, reminding her of her name. "No, not any more. I'm seeing someone in Port Angeles."

"Oh, OK," Renée said.

"We went out a few times, but that was it. He's nice, though," Jessica said. "He's looking for somebody with a little more education. That's not really my thing. He wants to talk about politics and authors and books and ideas. I prefer to talk about movies and shopping and parties."

Everybody and their kid brother knew that books were definitely my thing. I read all the time. Every chance I got. If I got bored, I usually dug my nose in a book. I read in the night while nursing Jeannie when everyone else was asleep. "Bella?" Mom asked, arching an eyebrow.

"OK, you guys are embarrassing me," I said, getting up, taking my daughter.

"Hey, Bella, want a beer?" Carlisle asked as I passed them.

"Oh, no thanks," I said. I had already had one, and I needed to nurse Jeannie. I could feel the let-down happening and I didn't want her drunk off my breast milk. "Hi, Edward. How are you?"

"Good thanks. I came by to meet your mom," he said.

"Oh, she's talking to Jessica Stanley right now," I said. "Can I get inside? I need to feed Jeannie."

"Oh, sure," Carlisle said, stepping aside for us to get into the house.

As I nursed Jeanne inside, a few of my teacher friends filled me in on the latest gossip from the high school faculty. There was some retiring happening, a few 'scandals,' and a few new teachers transferring from different schools. We were getting a new principal this fall.

A part of me didn't miss being away from all the gossip and cattiness of being a school teacher. I missed reading the books and the papers, but I didn't miss the pressure of being a teacher. It was a lot of work, and having a baby was going to require a lot of me. I wondered if I could do something else- like be a librarian? There were few decent libraries in Forks/La Push. Well, I had Mike's life insurance to live off of for a while.

There was a scandal at the party- Emmett and some of the kids had stripped out of their shoes and waded into the Sol Duck River and two of them fell in. Nothing happened, they just got wet. Emmett rescued them from the undercurrent before anything happened, but Rosalie was furious. Their parents were livid, too.

Jeannie wanted to see everything that was going on around her. I took her outside to see everything.

Edward was sitting with Renée, Renée was chatting his ear off, flirting. Jessica had disappeared. I saw Renée pat his knee and flash her most charming smile. She had been drinking Cosmopolitans all night, they were starting to make her goofy. Edward laughed at something she said. Oh God. She was setting me up.

"Bella, come here! Show little Jeannie to Edward, here," Renée said. She was slurring her words a little. "I was telling him about how she gets the cutest little hiccups after she nurses, sometimes."

"I just nursed her and she's not getting them, sorry," I said. As if to contradict me, Jeannie hiccupped right there.

"Why don't you let Edward hold her?" Renée asked.

"Right now?" Edward asked. The rate of Jeannie's hiccups increased.

"Yeah, you've never held her!" I realized.

"Yeah, why don't you?" Renée asked. I handed Jeannie over to Edward. I was expecting him to be a little more experienced with holding a baby, but he wasn't very graceful with her. Jeannie was still hiccupping.

"Rest her on your chest," I said.

"There's a reason I never became an OB-GYN or went into neo-natal," Edward said. "I'm afraid I'm not too good with babies."

"Nonsense!" Renée cried. "You just need a little practice!" she whispered. "You should spend more time with Bella!"

Edward chuckled.

"Mom, please," I said.

"Just wait until you have one of your own!" Renée crowed to Edward, ignoring me. "You'll know exactly how to handle them, then! Why don't you go do dinner with Bella, sometime? I think she needs a meal with some grown-up conversation. Charlie's not too good at that. Never was. Fisherman at heart- they don't value conversation-"

"Mom!" I cried. "Edward, ignore her, she doesn't know what she's saying."

"Oh, Bella, I do too!" Renée said.

"I've only been widowed for six months," I reminded her.

"I understand, Mrs. Dwye- Renée. Bella's a special young woman, though. We'll just leave it at that for now," Edward said.

"I could have absolutely died," I told Charlie as I pulled into the garage. "She was trying to fix me up with Edward Cullen."

* * *

Charlie, instead of sympathizing with me, laughed. "Sounds like Renée. Always the busybody, trying to match everybody up."

"Aren't you going to have a talk with her?" I cried.

"When she's sober, yes," he said. "But, would it be so bad to consider moving on?"

"I had an entire life planned with Mike!" I cried as I got Jeannie's car seat out of the back seat of the car. "I can't just get over him like that!"

"Nobody's expecting you to," Charlie said. "She'd just like to see you get out and do something, I guess. So would I. You spend all your time taking care of everybody else, these days. You need to take care of you."

"With what money?" I snorted.

"You don't need a lot of money to take care of yourself," Charlie said. "Spend time with people who care about you. Not your old gimp Dad-"

"Hey!" I cried. "You're not a gimp! Besides, I'm planning a baby shower for Angela Black."

"You're taking care of it," Charlie said. "I think you and Jeannie are going to enjoy your week in Jacksonville with Renée and Phil. You need it."


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

After the trip to Jacksonville, I spent the rest of the summer in anticipation of Angela's baby shower. She had the horrible luck of being due in August. She was miserable, being pregnant during her third trimester during the height of summer. I'd go over to her house to help out with Will when her mom was busy with the church or her younger twin brothers. Charlie was allowed to drive again, so I had fewer responsibilities around the house, now. Jeannie was trying to roll over, now.

While Angela and I were folding laundry, we watched Days of Our Lives. "So, have you heard anything else from Rebecca?" I asked.

"No, not really," she said. "Isaac was my eyes and ears."

At that moment, Jeannie rolled over onto her tummy. "Oh my God! She just did it!" I cried. I jumped up to pick her up and kiss her and congratulate my baby. We set her on her back over and over to see if she'd do it again, which she did. She eventually figured out how to do it on both sides. We'd scream and cheer every time.

"What's all the commotion?" Jacob asked, coming into the house.

"Come on, Jeannie," I said, setting her on her back. "Show Uncle Jake your moves."

"Come on, Figgy!" That was Jacob's nickname for her- Fig, as in Fig Newton. He thought it was original. I'm sure no one in Mike's family had ever heard that one before. She rolled over.

"Did she just start doing this?" he asked, picking her up and setting her back down on her back.

"Just now, yes," I said.

"Let's have a beer to celebrate," he said. "Angie, you want one?"

"You're so funny, Jake," she replied.

"I know, that's why you married me," Jacob replied.

"No, I didn't, I married you for your giant… hands," she said. She wiggled her eyebrows at me. I had to laugh. They were so cute together.

"There are children present, Angie," Jacob said. My phone rang- a restricted number. I pressed the "ignore" button- it was a telemarketer, most likely, they always restricted their numbers.

"Are we including you in that number of children?" she asked.

"Oooh, snaps," I said, high-fiving her. I knew they were just showing off for me.

"Stopple thy mouth, dame," Jake replied. It was an old joke from when Angela had done King Lear at the La Push Little Theatre.

My voicemail indicator went off. That was weird- telemarketers didn't leave messages.

I took my phone and checked the messages. It was from Mark Hetsler. Rebecca was in the hospital, and he had to notify the next of kin. And I was that next of kin here in town, so naturally they had to call me.

"Guys, Jeannie and I have to go," I said.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked.

"Rebecca's in the hospital," I said, gathering toys and baby stuff.

"What happened?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know, he didn't say," I said.

"We'll take you," Angela said.

"No, I… yeah, I'd rather one of you be with me," I said.

"Jake, I'll go with her, you watch Will," Angela said. She rubbed her bulging baby bump in a circle. "If anything happens, I'll already be in the hospital."

"Alright," he said. He helped her up and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she said. I put Jeannie in the car seat and we strapped her into the backseat of my car and took off for the hospital.

In the hospital, we found Marge the Triage nurse. "Rebecca's in the ER, C-4," she said, seeing me. "You'll have to leave the baby in the waiting room."

I went through the automatic doors, leaving Jeannie with Angela.

Rebecca was laying, almost catatonic in the bed. I saw a purple bruise mark around her neck. "What's going on here?" I asked. "Rebecca, can you hear me?"

"She attempted suicide," a familiar said behind me. It was Edward. He was standing there, in his ER scrubs. "She cut a rope, it wasn't right for her body weight, and it broke. It caused a lot of damage, though. She tried to hang herself in her office."

I felt a gasp escape my mouth. "No!" I cried. She hadn't even seen her grandbaby, yet. I couldn't bear to look at her. I turned to Edward, tears streaming down my face. He pulled me into his chest. I sobbed onto his sea green ER scrubs. Yes, she was difficult with me, but she was the last remaining link to Mike. Jeannie would never know her father's family if Rebecca didn't come around. I didn't want Jeannie never knowing her father's family.

Edward guided me out into the hallway, away from Rebecca. "I know," he muttered. "It's a lot to take in. You'll have to talk to the police." I raised my eyes to look up into his. They were emerald green, jewel-like, filled with compassion. I felt my heart melt. I had never looked into his eyes before, nor had I ever noticed how beautiful they were. Renée was right; he was very attractive. "Come on," he said, taking my hand.

He took me out to the waiting room, where Angela was waiting with Jeannie. She attempted to stand up from where she had been sitting when she saw us.

"She attempted suicide," I whispered. "I don't know why."

"Oh, Bella!" Angela cried. Edward and I helped her up. She hugged me. "I'm so sorry!"

"If she's brain dead and I have to put her in a nursing home, Jeannie will never know her father's family," I said, softly.

Angela held her stomach for a moment.

"Angela, are you alright?" Edward asked.

"Yes, I'm fine," Angela said.

"Can I check you out? Just to make sure?" Edward asked.

"It couldn't hurt," I said.

"Alright," she said.

We went into a spare ER room, where Angela changed into a hospital robe and Edward went to check on other patients. I let Marge hold Jeannie. "Jessica's right. He does look at you."

"He does?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "I noticed it just now. The way he held your hand when you came out of the ER. Doctors don't do that."

"I know, but…"

"He held your hand, Bella," she said.

I held onto Angela's hand while Edward examined her. "You're already starting to dilate," he said.

"I'm not due for another two weeks!" Angela cried. "I was going to give birth at home on the reservation!"

"I'm calling the resident OB GYN," he said. "Bella, can you call her husband?"

"Sure," I said. My day had just spiraled out of control.

* * *

**A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

Angela delivered a healthy baby girl that night in the ER. Alice and Rosalie took turns baby sitting Will in La Push and then Jeannie in the waiting room. I kept Jeannie at the hospital with me during the daytime hours. When visiting hours were over, I let Alice take Jeannie back to Charlie's.

The news about Rebecca was terrible. She had choked herself for so long that she had suffered permanent brain damage. The oxygen deprivation led to a severe heart attack. The end prognosis was that if she made it through the week, she'd be a vegetable.

I didn't want to go home, yet. Two people who were family to me were in the hospital. It suddenly felt like the rug was tugged out from under me and I was falling into space. I felt helpless and alone.

I slept in the Critical Care unit after using the breast pump for Alice to take back to Jeannie. The prognosis was, Rebecca would never wake up. She had to have a machine to breathe, now. I had to find out if she had a living will. That would make things easier for me. I didn't want to have to be the angel of death, but it was in my hands.

Around five am, I woke up. I took a walk down to the maternity ward to see if Angela was awake, yet. And she wasn't. I didn't want to be the jerk that woke her up.

As I was walking down to the cafeteria to get some coffee, I saw Edward at one end of the cafeteria. He looked very tired.

"Hi," I said, sitting down across from him.

"Hi, Bella," he said. We sat in silence for a few moments. "I'm sorry."

"You did what you could. You always have."

He took his coffee cup in both hands and took a sip. "Where's Jeannie?"

"Alice took her back to my dad's," I replied. "She wasn't allowed in the hospital overnight."

"So, you stayed? For your mother-in-law?"

"Yes," I said. I fiddling with my paper coffee cup. "What are you doing here? You look pretty tired."

"I was on call last night," he answered, tiredly. I could see the circles under his eyes. "A logging truck was in an accident on the high way."

"Did he make it?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied. "I bet you miss Jeannie right now."

"Well…" I began. "Come to think of it… this is the longest I've ever been away from her."

He sighed. I realized he was about to fall asleep, he was so exhaustd.

"I have a lot to do, today," I replied, thinking of Rebecca's living will. On top of that, I needed to do laundry- Jeannie's cloth diapers, mostly. She probably needed a bath too, and we desperately needed groceries or Charlie would probably be ordering pizza and Jeannie would probably get a hold of some pepperoni to gum on. "Are you going to go home and rest?"

"I guess," he said. "What are you going to do?"

"Find out if Rebecca has a living will, after I see Angela and her new baby."

"I hope Rebecca has one," Edward said. "Especially in this situation."

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Can I help you look for it?" he asked.

"No, you need to rest," I said, seeing his exhaustion. "It's probably in Port Angeles or Seattle- do you really want to go out there to find their lawyer?"

"I don't mind," he said. "Really. Let me know if I can help you in any way, Bella."

"OK, I will." I had no real intentions of asking Edward Cullen for help.

I called the Newton's family lawyer in Port Angeles. Luckily, Rebecca did have a living will signed and dated long before Mike and Dave had died. The lawyer came down to Forks to give me a copy. We had to go through all sorts of legal proof before showing that it was a legitimate legal document to the hospital. Since I was the closest next of kin, I had to sign off on her final wishes.

And so, they pulled the plug.

My daughter would never know her paternal grandparents or her father, except through pictures and memorabilia. I took Jeannie home to Charlie's house that night, and we curled up in my bed while I cried.

I planned the funeral. Rebecca wanted to be cremated for some reason. I didn't like the idea of cremation, but I went ahead and did it. Alice helped me put together the funeral nicely, with flowers and all. The service was short and sweet. Angela's father was the reverend presiding. It was a cruel twist of fate that one life was taken from the world and another given on almost the same day. We buried her in the same grave as her husband, beside her son. A whole family, buried together. I shivered.

I felt like I was getting good at this funeral thing. I knew how to handle it, what to say, what ceremony, what visitation went where. Edward even stopped by to see me. "You did the right thing," he told me. I nodded.

It turned out that I had inherited Newton's Olympic Outfitters. Rebecca was the sole owner, now, and she hadn't revised her will at all after Dave and Mike's accident. Her will said that all her assets were to be willed to Dave, if he were living, if not, to Mike and me. Mike's will had said that all of his assets were go to me, so I had inherited the store. I had never thought that I'd be running it when I got a job there in high school.

When I looked at the bank account, I almost cried. It was in the red. I didn't understand invoices and stock and warehouses. I was going to have to either sell it or close it.

I called Rosalie for advice.

She poured over the books and we inventoried the store over a weekend. We burned the midnight oil, and in the end, she announced, "If we work really hard, and we have a good year, I think we can save the store."

"I don't know anything about running a business," I said.

"Lucky for you, Emmett and I do," Rosalie said. "The Real Estate market slows down in the fall and winter, but we can run it from a distance. I think we can save this if we try."

"I'll help you manage it," Emmett said. "This will be your job. Pretty sweet, huh? Any stay-at-home-mom's dream come true, to work for herself and bring her baby along."

"I guess," I said. "Thank you guys, so much."

"How much am I getting paid?" Emmett asked.

* * *

**A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I brought Jeannie to the store most of the time, leaving her in a playpen while all my friends who (were physically able with spare time) and I redid the stocking and inventory systems. We reopened a week later, right as school started.

The next three months passed in a blur, I worked so hard. I just wanted Jeannie to have something from her father when she was old enough to remember.

I was putting the final bit of tinsel on the Christmas tree when Jeannie crawled up under my feet. Grabbing a hold of my jeans leg, she tugged her way up onto her feet. I bent down to pick her up and gave her a kiss. She had her father's cheeks, but my curly, uncontrollable hair, only in honey blonde, like her Dad. It was growing out in spriggy little curls. She definitly had a personality. I put her in the glider, and she roamed around the store saying gibberish phrases and giggling and singing. When ever somebody laughed, she joined in, as if she could understand the joke. She was a lover, too. She liked to snuggle and cuddle and be held, by just about anybody.

"OK, Figgy," I said. We had all started calling her that. "Are you ready to see Emmett Claus?"

"Ho, ho, ho," Emmett said, emerging from the back of the store. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit, complete with white beard and wig. Jeannie's eyes grew wide and she screamed in terror. "Figgy, it's me!" he cried, tearing off the wig and beard.

"See? It's just Uncle Emmett," I said. I heard the front door bell jangle- it was a customer. "Welcome to Newton's Olympic Outfitters," I said, turning around. "Hi, Edward!" I cried, seeing him walk through the door.

"Hi, Bella!" he cried, running his fingers through his sleet-littered hair.

"Long time no see," I said.

"Give me a hug," he said, holding out his arms. "I want to see Jeannie, too. How's she doing?"

"Oh, she's great," I said, going to Edward. I had worked ten and twelve hour days six days a week, I had hardly had time for myself. It was mostly Emmett and me, we occasionally had help from Rose in the store, but that was it. I handed Jeannie to Edward, who hugged him and flashed him a smile.

"Is she ready to walk?" he asked.

"She's trying," I said. "She really wants to. She crawls everywhere. I have to keep an eye on her, especially in here."

"Hey, Emmett," Edward called.

"Hey, man," Emmett said, donning the wig and beard. "What do you think?"

"He scared Jeannie when she first saw him," I said.

"Santa Claus scared me when I was kid, too," Edward said.

"So, what brings you to Newton's today?" I asked.

"Uh, I need a hiking jacket," he said.

"We've got some from the North Face," I said. "Here in the back. Where are you going? Hiking out on the peninsula or more inland or what?"

"Oh, I was just going to home after Christmas," he said. "Hiking jackets do the trick against Chicago weather."

"Oh, OK," I said. I went over the different kind of jackets we had and how warm each one of them was. He let me pitch each one of them to him.

In the end, Edward bought an expensive jacket with flannel inside and a polar fleece outer lining. Jeannie rested her cheek on it when Edward tried it on. She liked the feel of the polar fleece against her skin. Her allergies had begun to die down, she could wear disposable diapers, but I preferred to keep her in cloth, just for propriety's sake.

"That's so cute," Edward said, stroking her head. "When did she get all this hair? It's so light, too!"

"When you weren't looking," Emmett said, coming out the back. He had changed out of the Santa suit and back into his normal clothes. "Man, that suit was one hot SOB."

"Emmett, do you mind?" I asked. "She's going to start talking, soon. I don't want her cursing."

"A little color to the language never hurt a vocabulary," Edward said. Jeannie looked like she was going to go to sleep on his shoulder. "Can I take her home to Chicago?"

"A little vacation would be nice," I said. "I'd love a full night's sleep. And to read in bed as late as I want."

"Nah, I wouldn't want to give my parents any ideas," Edward said. He handed her back to me. She kicked and whimpered.

"OK, Figgy, say good-bye to Dr. Edward," I said. "Time for your nap."

"Figgy? Is that what you call her?" Edward asked, smirking.

"It's a joke. Jake came up with it," I said. "It's stuck. I'm sure she'll hate it when she's older."

"Bye, Figgy," Edward said, kissing her on the head. "It's good to see you, again, Bella. Bye, Emmett."

"Oh, hey, before you go," Emmett said. "We need a fifth for poker night. Are you up for it?"

"When is it?"

"Tuesday," Emmett said.

"Uh, sure. It's been a while," Edward said. "But I'm up for it."

"OK, I'll call you with the details. See you then," Emmett said.

Edward left the store.

"Hey, Bells," Emmett said. "If somebody were you ask you out, would you go out with them, now?"

"Why are you asking me this?" I asked, warily.

"Because I think it's time you started considering going out with someone," Emmett said. "Are you ready for that?"

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "If I liked him enough, yeah."

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**A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I was sitting on the rocking recliner in the living room, reading while Jeannie nursed and Charlie watched TV. Things were so quiet, these days. Mike sometimes seemed like somebody who died last night, but sometimes, days like this, I had a hard time remembering his face if I didn't look at pictures.

Jeannie was ready to put down for the night. I went upstairs and set her down in the crib. She wasn't asleep, yet, but she looked sleepy. I couldn't wait to start reading to her at night. I wanted to make sure she had a love a books and learning like I did, growing up. I wondered if she'd ever glory in all of Mike's figurines and movie posters when she was old enough. I'd wondered if she'd even like _Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Firefly, James Bond… _I had dressed her up as a clown and we had greeted trick-or-treaters at the door. Mike always loved Halloween because it gave him an excuse to dress up like his favorite characters. He always wanted to go to San Diego ComiCon. We almost went there for our honeymoon.

I preferred to read in the rocking recliner, with or without Jeannie. I settled into my chair and read more of _Pride and Prejudice_. I hadn't read it since high school. I put on my iPod to block out the TV when Charlie threw a pillow at me. "Bells. Your phone is ringing," he said.

Running for my purse in the kitchen, I found my phone. I flipped it open right before it went to voicemail.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Bella? It's Edward. Cullen?" It sounded like he had me on speakerphone.

"Hi, Edward. How's the coat working for you?"

"Um, it's fine. How's Jeannie?"

"She's fine," I said. "What are you up to tonight?"

There was a scuffle in the background. "I just thought I'd call you and see what you were up to this Friday," he said.

"Probably just reading and hanging out with Jeannie and Charlie," I said. He seemed kind of nervous.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over… for dinner?" he asked. I heard some snickering in the background. "Since there's no good place to eat in Forks… asides from the hospital cafeteria."

"Oh…," I said. He was asking me on a date? "Oh, um, sure." This all seemed to convenient. Right after Emmett asked me if I would mind being asked out. "As long as you can cook. Is there any reason why you're asking me out?"

"No," he answered quickly. There was even more scuffling in the background. "I just thought you could use a night out. You work so much."

"Oh, right. Well, thanks," I said. "What time are you going to pick me up? Or should I just come over? I don't know where you live, though."

"Oh, I'll come get you. About six-thirty? Is that alright?"

"Sure," I said. "I'll see you then."

I hung up the phone. I noticed it was Tuesday. Emmett's poker night. Edward was joining for the first time.

I sent Alice a text message.

_Do the guys cheat whenever a new guy comes in to play poker for the first time?_

Alice texted back less than five minutes later.

_Are you asking if they cheat? OMG do they cheat!_

* * *

**A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I should have cancelled on Edward, knowing the truth, but it was kind of nice to getting a chance to get out of the house and away from the store. I gave Emmett hell about it the next day at work. "You cheated and made him lose! What was the wager!" I cried.

"That he had to ask you out," Emmett said.

"Emmett!" I cried.

"He's been wanting to do it for a while, we could all tell," Emmett said. "Like he really needed a hiking coat in Chicago. That was complete BS. He just came here to see you and Jeannie. I've seen that Vovlo parked outside our store for weeks, just parked for like, an hour at a time. He just needed a push. You said you'd go out if asked."

"I know," I said. "But I didn't know you'd do something this devious."

"We love you, Bella," Emmett said. "It's almost been a year. Maybe it's time to start seeing people."

I found a winter dress I hadn't worn in almost two years in my things. Alice called me and asked if I wanted her help picking out an outfit. I said no, but she told me to wear matching panties and a bra and no Spanx if I wanted to have sex with him. "Not on the first date!" I cried. "I'm not a whore!"

"Hey, two men in twenty-six years wouldn't make you a whore!" Alice cried.

"I wouldn't want him to think I'm fast," I said, picking out a pair of shoes. I put on my make up while Jeannie and Charlie watched Sports Center. I made sure my hair was super-straight from the ceramic straightening iron so I didn't have fuzz-ball hair. While I was getting dressed, I heard the doorbell ring. I heard Edward downstairs talking to Charlie.

"… No trash-talking the Cubbies in front of me," Edward was saying.

"I can't promise anything," Charlie said. I stopped and slipped my pearls on and down the stairs.

"Hi," I said. Edward did a double-take. I usually never wore make up since I had been pregnant. I'm sure I looked different.

"Hi, Bella. You look… uh, nice," he said.

"Are you ready to go?" Charlie asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Got your cell phone?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, Dad, I do," I said.

"Good," he said. "I'll put her down at eight-thirty."

"Don't wait up," I said, truly hoping he wouldn't.

"I can't promise I won't," Charlie said. "Have a good time, Bells."

"Thanks."

Edward's house was indeed a cottage- a beautiful, rustic cottage, closer to La Push than Forks. It was on the beach as he had said. It was made of redwood and was covered in ferns and surrounded by trees and was lit up, waiting for us. I could see inside. A light house was across the bay.

"I didn't want to flatter you in front of your father, but, really, Bella, you look, amazing right now," Edward said, turning the engine off. "I didn't know you were going to dress like that."

"I just got excited about going out for once," I said.

"I see," he said, getting out of the car. I went to get out, but he came around and assisted me and helped me into the house.

Most everything was already cooked and ready on the stove. The kitchen table was set out. His house was much better put together and more modern looking than Charlie and mine. "Do you want something to drink?" he asked. "I've got a bottle of Sauvignon. '99."

"Oh," I said. "Sure."

"Have a seat in the living room," he said. "I'm just going to finish up in the kitchen."

"OK," I said. I sat down in the living room on the long, black leather couch. It was such a beautiful room, it looked like a professional decorator had put it together. Edward came back into the living room with a red wine. He handed me the glass of the burgundy liquid. I took a sip. It was good wine.

"What do you think?" he asked, sitting down beside me.

"It's good," I said. "So, I know that you lost at poker, that's why you asked me out."

He cringed. "Bella, that's not why I asked you out," he said. "I just wasn't sure you were ready. Emmett and Jasper made me do it."

"They cheat, you know," I said, smiling.

"I thought so," he grumbled.

"But, you asked, and I'm here," I said.

"I wouldn't say it was a total loss, then," he said.

We had discussions about the Jeannie and the winters in Washington and his job. It was almost eight thirty before we decided to eat dinner. After dinner, we walked down the beach to the lighthouse. He put his coat on my shoulders to keep me warm.

I had never been on the beach after dark in La Push.

The ocean was dark, except for a few boats in the distance, blinking lights.

"So, were you on a scholarship on the sailing team?" I asked as we walked back.

"No, it was more intramural," he said. "I had a good time, though."

"Did you drink a lot in college?" I asked.

"Only in undergrad," he said. "That's just what people did. I partied a lot. We all did."

"Same here," I said. We walked a few more paces. "So, what made you become a doctor?" I asked.

"I liked medicine," he said. "It just made sense. My Dad's a doctor, too."

"So, many doctors do you have in your family?"

"So far, five," he said. "Since we came to America."

"Do you like it, here?" I asked, looking out to the sea.

"I love it, here," he said. "Did you ever want to stay when you first moved out here?"

"Not at first," I said. "I don't know. Plans change. Especially when you fall in love with someone."

"So… do you ever talk about your late husband?" he asked, picking up a flat pebble and skipping it across the ocean in the moonlight.

"Not really," I said. "I try to avoid it."

"Do you ever want to?"

"Sometimes," I said. He picked up another stone to skip. I had never figured out how to skip stones. "When I start talking about him… I don't know, I just can't stop thinking about him. And then… then, I can't do anything else. And Jeannie's inheritance is on the line. If I can't do anything but think about him, I lose the store. That's the last piece of her father's family I've got left, aside from pictures."

"I understand," he said, quietly. He stroked a lock of my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. The way he touched me was so tender, I realized that I had missed that over the past year. His hand was cold from the air, but it was hot on my skin. I sighed and closed my eyes as he faced me. I could feel his breath on my face. Before even thinking about it, I felt his lips on mine. If his fingers felt good, his lips were incredible. He tasted sweet, like the wine we had had for dinner. He caught my lower lip between his. It felt so good to be kissed that my legs almost gave out from under me.

We kissed again.

His hands found their way into the nape of my neck, pulling me towards him and I rested my hands on his abdomen. The feeling of the yarn in his sweater brushed against my fingers. Maybe it was too soon to kiss him- I didn't want to compare him to my late husband.

I pulled away.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I should know you better before I kiss you. I guess it's a little late for that."

"I guess it is," he said. His hand was still in my hair. "Maybe it would be best if I took you home now."

"Yeah, I think so, too," I said.

* * *

**A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

When Edward dropped me off that night, Charlie had left the front porch light on and the front door unlocked. He waited until he saw me get inside. It was late enough that he and Jeannie were in bed. I went upstairs to my room. I turned on the 40 watt lamp and changed out of my clothes and got my toiletries for my nighttime ritual.

After brushing my teeth and hair and taking off my make up, I came back to Jeannie holding onto the railing of her crib, watching me. "Hey, diaper butt," I said. "What are you doing up?" I picked her up out of the crib and checked her diaper- dry. I didn't have the let-down for my milk, so I didn't need to nurse. She had started on baby foods, so I didn't have to nurse as often, now. I decided to take her to my bed with me. I laid down with her on top of me, in between my breasts and she settled her head in my clavicle. "So, Mommy had a good time with Dr. Edward tonight. Not too good of a time. I know, I know… You never even met your Daddy. I might get remarried one day, but probably not any time soon. I love you a lot. No man will ever be more important than you, Figgy." I got her binkie- her pacifier- off the desk and gave it to her. She happily sucked on it. "Your Daddy was a great, special man. I'm not looking for a replacement for him. Grandpa is doing a good job for now, isn't he? Yeah, he loves you a lot." I felt myself yawn. I was going to be passed out in a few minutes- so was she. "OK, I thought about it. Dr. Edward would make a good stepdaddy for you. But, let's not get ahead of ourselves, huh? Good night, Jeannie." I switched off the lamp.

Jeannie woke me up once needing a diaper change, but we went back to sleep after that. I put her back in her crib. That left me time to dream about that kiss with Edward. I couldn't believe I wasn't feeling guilty for thinking about another man. I expected to, but I wasn't. I drifted off.

I dreamed I was walking on the beach with Edward and Jeannie. It was a normal day, overcast, a little nippy, but we were happy. Jeannie was just learning to walk. Edward was holding one of her hands, I was holding the other. Jeannie was laughing- that cute gurgle that was infectious, making us laugh. We were just a like a normal, happy family. I was happy.

In the distance, a blurry figure was ahead of us. I looked up and realized who it was; Mike. I saw his eyes. He looked hurt. I was standing there, with his daughter with another man. My heart stopped for a moment. He was real. He was alive. And I was with somebody else.

Tearing Jeannie from Edward's grasp, I said, "I'm so sorry, Edward!" and I ran towards Mike. I caught a glance at Edward's face. He looked immensely hurt, too. Mike turned away from us and started walking forward. As hard as I tried to run, I couldn't catch up with Mike as he walked away. I screamed out his name and Jeannie cried from all the jostling. I finally stopped, and realized I was an equal distance between Edward and Mike. I was in between. I couldn't do anything without hurting either one. Clutching my little girl, I sank to my knees, sobbing.

I felt something tugging on my arm. I realized I was in my bedroom, the one I shared with Jeannie. She was sitting up, whimpering. She needed another diaper change and feeding, and once that started, I knew her morning routine. She was up for the day.

I took her for a walk on with her jog stroller before going home to make breakfast and coffee. I used the time to think while the light rain pelted my face like an ocean spray. I never believed in ghosts. I did believe in God and heaven. Heaven had to hold Mike. But, was Mike ready for me to be with somebody else, yet? Did Mike even want me to fall in love again? Was Mike angry about my date with Edward? Did he like Edward for another love for me? I just wished I could ask Mike these questions myself, to his face, but I couldn't. His parents weren't alive to tell me what he would have wanted. All our friends said that Mike would have wanted me to fall in love again, but that's just because they didn't want me to be left out of a lot of things that couples did. Mike left me so suddenly, without any warning. We were so young, we had just gotten married two years ago. I thought the conversation of i_f anything happened to me, would you want me to get remarried_ would happen when we were in our thirties. I never thought I'd face being a widow at age 25, now 26. Widow sounded so old, so frigid to me. And I was one. We thought we were invincible, nothing could touch us. How wrong we were.

Charlie came down the stairs. "So, you had a good date last night?" he asked, jarring me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, it was good," I admitted.

"I heard part of your one-sided conversation with Jeannie last night," Charlie said.

"You were awake?" I asked.

"I had insomnia last night," he admitted. "Don't take things too fast with Edward. I'm pretty attached to Jeannie. I like having her around."

"Do you ever wish you had more kids, Dad?" I asked. "Like, with somebody else?"

"Honestly? Yeah, I do, at moments like this, with Jeannie," he said. "Personally, Bells, I wish you'd get remarried and have more babies. Just so I could be grandpa some more. She's going to be walking, soon, and talking after that."

"I love that she can't talk back, right now," I said.

"Yeah, me too. I know you have to get to work," he said. "Go, get in the shower. I'll watch her."

"OK," I said.

After I got dressed and went to work, I took Jeannie and put her in her little glider. She could move around as much as she wanted in the store. We set everything up so she couldn't reach anything in her glider, 'baby-proofing' the store. She entertained herself all day by gliding around the store and flirting with the customers. Saturday was Rosalie's day to help me.

I opened by myself. Rose came in with fresh coffee a half hour later. Jeannie stopped in her glider right in front of Rose in the middle of an aisle. "I see you, Jeannie Beanie!" Rose called. Jeannie gurled out a peal of laughter. She turned and glided down the aisle in the other direction. It was moments like this that she reminded me the most of her father. "So how did the date with the young Dr. Cullen go?"

"Well," I said. "We had a good dinner, good wine. We went on a nighttime walk on the beach to the lighthouse."

"So, you liked his house, huh?" she asked. "It's beautiful, huh?"

"Oh, I love it!" I cried. Jeannie was singing a song of vowels in the northeastern corner of the store.

"Yeah, that house was one of the first beach cottages built on the Olympic Peninsula in the Forks/La Push area," she said. She went on, telling me all sorts of facts that only a Real Estate Agent would find interesting about a house.

The Saturday morning hiking crowd made it in. Jeannie entertained them for a while between my sales pitches to the customers. Emmett came in at about noon to supply some lunch for Rosalie and me. I took a half hour break and nursed Jeannie while eating broccoli cheese soup while Emmett took my place. I put Jeannie in the playpen in the office for a nap. The afternoon rush ended.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened with Edward last night?" Rosalie asked.

"A lady never kisses and tells," I said.

"So you kissed?" she asked.

"Yes," I said.

"He loves Jeannie. You can't lose with Edward. Keeper," Rosalie said.

"I don't know," I said, thinking about last night's dream. "Everybody keeps telling me that I should start dating again. I feel like it's just because they want me to be able to do couple things, again."

"I know," Rose said. "You get that a lot from Angela and Alice. Alice will take over your life if you let her. And she's so happy being married, she'll want that for you, too. Angela has all these religious ideas about ideals in life and family. She means well. It's her Lutheran upbringing."

"What about you?" I asked.

"I think that… if you feel like you're ready to say good-bye to Mike and begin life again by yourself, you should do what feels right," Rosalie said, carefully. "Did last night feel right?"

"I love talking with Edward," I said. "He's interesting. He's caring, he's intellectual, he likes the things I like, he likes kids- mine in particular. He fits in so well around here. Mike and I never had a talk about what was the right thing to do if one of us passed away, though. Everybody says that Mike would want me to fall in love again, but I feel like I'm cheating on him."

"Look for signs," Rose said.

"Signs?" I asked. "Like in nature?"

"Yeah," she said. "Have you been to Mike's grave?"

"No," I admitted. "Not since Rebecca died."

"Go to his grave, have a talk with him," Rose said.

"Won't people think I'm crazy, talking to myself?"

"People do it all the time," she said. "Look, I'll close up. I'll even watch Jeannie if you want."

"OK, thanks, Rose," I said.

I put on my jacket and left the car seat in the office, just incase this took longer than I thought.

The cemetery on the edge of town was deserted, today. As always, it was raining out. I took my extra rain jacket and umbrella with me in and drove around until I found Mike. Setting my rain jacket down, I sat down on it. I opened my umbrella over my head and stared at Mike's tombstone that rested in the grass. The cold rain specks hit me anyways and gathered on my rain jacket.

_MICHAEL_

_EUGENE_

_NEWTON_

_May 9, 1987- January 12, 2013_

_Father, Husband, Son, & Friend_

I felt a little sick for a moment, staring at it. I stared until the nausea went away. It became easier to look at. I played with the grass blades. It was pretty well maintained. I watched _Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood_ while I was in college. I used to love 90210. Mike used to say it was ridiculous, but he watched it with me. I remember something Tori Spelling said on her reality TV show. I couldn't remember it word-for-word, but it went something like,_ I used to hate cemeteries because I thought dead people didn't like it if you stepped on their graves. But then, I thought, they probably like it when people step on their graves because that means you're coming to visit them._

"I'm sorry I haven't come by," I said. "Your family's store… well, we're hanging on. I don't know what I'd do if Rose and Emmett hadn't agreed to help. Jeannie's getting so big, now. She's probably going to start walking, soon. I don't want her to because that means I won't be able to hold her as much anymore. OK, you know the real reason why I'm here. I met somebody. And he likes me. And he likes Jeannie. I'm just worried because we never had that conversation about what to do if anything happened to one of us. And I don't want to disrespect your memory. I had this terrible dream last night- that I was chasing you down because you saw Jeannie and me with Edward, and you looked so hurt. I know you're still there because sometimes, I see Jeannie, and she looks like you, she laughs like you, her personality is just like yours, sometimes. She's perfectly beautiful. But, she's going to need a daddy, and my Dad just wants to be grandpa and not father. I just feel so torn, Mike. I miss you so much! What do I do? Do I go out with Edward? He's a great guy and-"

There was a crack of thunder.

Rose said to look for answers. Maybe that was Mike's answer.

* * *

**A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I had to break things off with Edward. I felt horribly guilty. Mike didn't want me with him. It wasn't time for me to start dating, yet. I spent so much time at Mike's grave that I knew that Rose had taken Jeannie home to her house.

Rose and Emmett have a fantastic house. They're Real Estate agents, they know how to find a good one at a good price. I pulled into their driveway, and all the lights were on. I could see Emmett had Jeannie in his lap and was feeding her applesauce at the dining room table while Rose was talking. They were enjoying themselves. I watched from outside; Jeannie with a mommy, a daddy in a big, pretty house. Right now, she was in a tiny house with her grandpa and me, cramped into the same bedroom as her mom. I was struggling financially, and Rose and Emmett had cash in the bank. Money probably wouldn't be so tight if I was still teaching and Mike was running the shop with his parents.

I walked up to the front door, knocking as I entered. "Hey guys, I'm here for the munchkin!" I called, wiping my feet on the front mat. "Hand her over, and nobody gets hurt!" Jeannie squealed.

"Hey Bella, we're just eating dinner!" Emmett called. "Why don't you join us?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, shaking the water droplets out, and took my jacket off, trying to keep from getting water on the hardwood floors. I made sure I didn't have any mud on my boots and I went into the dining room. Jeannie squealed and held out her arms to me.

"What are you having?" I asked, picking Jeannie up.

"Pork chops and roast potatoes and green beans," Rose said.

"And applesauce," Emmett said, sliding the applesauce across the table to me with a long teaspoon in it.

"I'll make a plate for you," Rose said, getting up.

"She's so much fun," Emmett said. "Although I hated putting her in cloth diapers. You've got a surprise in a ziplock baggie in her diaper bag." Jeannie was singing and gurling.

"They're better for her skin and good for the environment," I said. "Do you know how much oil has to be used to make even one those? And they never degrade in the landfills."

"She's gone all green on us," Emmett said.

"Here, Bella," Rose said, returning with a plate. She set it down in front of me. I cut up my potatoes with my fork and let Jeannie have some. "You're going to have to learn to change diapers eventually, Em," Rose said.

"Wait a second!" I cried. "Are you guys pregnant?"

"Not yet," Rosalie slyly. "But, we'd _like _to get pregnant."

"We're going to try."

"When did you decide on this?" I cried.

"Tonight," Emmett said, smiling. "Jeannie Beannie kind of convinced us."

"Everything's in place for it. Has been for a while."

"Ang will be so insulted that her kids didn't do the convincing," I said.

"Well, she never lets me baby-sit," Emmett pouted.

"You're just as much of a big kid as Jacob," I said.

"I know," Rose said. "You can't help who you fall in love with."

"Was that meant to be an insult?" Emmett asked.

"No," Rose replied.

"I can't wait," I said. "You two will be great parents!"

"I hope so," Emmett said, picking up the plates that he and Rosalie had eaten off of to take to the dishwasher in the kitchen.

"So, what conclusion have you come to?" Rosalie asked.

I bowed my head. "He doesn't want me to date, yet. At least not Edward Cullen," I said.

"What happened?" she cried.

"When I asked, I heard a crack of thunder," I said. "It doesn't thunder in the winter, here. It was a sign. Mike was trying to tell me something."

"It can thunder here in the winter," Rose said.

"It's too cold for that," I said. "It was supernatural."

"Bella, don't see a twig pointed in one direction over another as a sign," Rose said. "I said to look for a sign, not be superstitious."

"You told me to look for it," I said. "And I heard it. I'm sorry Rose, I just can't ignore something like that."

"Bella, you know that Lauren Mallory is moving back from Port Angeles, right?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, so?" I asked, not understanding what that had to do with the conversation.

"Lauren is going to be all over Edward Cullen," she said. "Good men don't stay single long in Forks. I saw her at your mom's barbeque last summer, and she was flirting and falling all over him after you and Jeannie left. She went to cosmetology school and looks like a million dollars."

"Well," I said, thinking, "if he can't wait for me, what good is he?"

"Mike was crazy about you from day one. Edward is like everybody else," she said. "Out of sight, out of mind."

"I think a girl deserves a man who's crazy about her," I said. "Like Mike was for me. He was the love of… my life…" A scary thought struck me. What if he was the highlight of my love life and that was over at age 25? I shivered. I'd never be in love like that again and I'd have to settle when the time came.

* * *

As I got my little Jeannie Beannie into the car and drove home to Charlie's, I tried to convince myself that soul mates and the love of your life was nonsense, but somewhere in the back of my brain, I couldn't let it go. _Life is what you make it, Bella, _the angel on my shoulder said. _No it's not, we're all on a charted course and it's already pre-decided for you,_ the devil on my other shoulder said.

But, I couldn't let go of Mike so quickly.

I went to church with Charlie the next day (he liked going to church after the accident, and people liked seeing Jeannie, and she liked being seen). Sunday was my one day off. I used my time in the pew to think about what the thunder clap meant. All in all, I was just confused. How could Mike not like Edward? I was so distracted, I didn't see the Cullens a few rows over. They were all sitting together with Edward included. They had been trying to get my attention all through the service, but I was so distracted with Jeannie, I hadn't seen them until church was over. Alice raced over to see Jeannie.

"Hi, Figgy!" she cried, taking Jeannie from me without asking.

"Hi, Bella," Edward said, warmly. "I've been meaning to talk to you."

"Alice, why don't you take Jeannie around?" I asked.

"Sure thing," Alice said.

Alice took off with Jeannie to greet some of our friends. I saw Jacob and Angela in the distance with their kids. People were fawning over their baby daughter, Wendi.

"I had a great time with you on Friday," Edward said. His eyes looked especially green today. They were sparkling emerald against the thin grey sweater he was wearing. "Maybe we can do it again, sometime. Maybe you can bring Jeannie along."

"Oh, about that," I said. His smile faded. "Edward, I had a great time, too, I just feel like it might be too soon to date for me. I'd be comparing you my husband- my late husband. That's not fair. To you, I mean."

A fake, polite smile plastered it way onto his face. "Oh, I understand," he said. "I do. You've been through- you're _going through_ a tough time. Maybe it's not over yet. I'm sorry. Maybe when you're ready." Everything suddenly became so awkward between us. I had really messed things up- forever.

* * *

**A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

The next few weeks centered around Jeannie. I had never counted myself as a sentimental person before- my wedding hadn't been a huge, lavish event like Alice's or Rosalie's, I wasn't much of a scrapbooker, my photo albums were thrown together, and my phase after Mike's death where I cried over everything in our house together had been short-lived. I wanted to make Jeannie's first Christmas completely special and memorable, although she'd never remember it.

Mike continued to haunt my dreams, too. Sometimes, they were good- memories of our life together- like when we lost our virginity together, or the time that Charlie caught us in my room, or when he took me on our first romantic weekend getaway in college. My most vivid memories of Mike were while I was making love to him. I could remember him best from those moments, mainly because I had wanted to remember every moment during those times. My depression also kept me from enjoying sexual-related thoughts, and I was beginning to come out of it. I could actually think about Mike again in my daily life and not be overrun with emotion and lost. I had been a shadow of a person after Mike died until Charlie had that blow up over how I was treating Jeannie. Then, I had to be slightly more than robotic. After that, I had the added stress of taking over the store. I did everything I had to and took little time for myself. I over-thought everything. That date with Edward must have awakened something inside me- the want to take care of myself for me, again. Mike and I always took care of each other in the past when things got too hectic.

As always, I was invited to Alice and Jasper's New Year's Eve party. Charlie told me it was just fine if I wanted to go, he'd watch Jeannie for me. He was doing pretty well, now, walking without his cane at all. He still favored his right side, but I called him House MD to tease him.

Two days before New Year's Eve, of all the luck, Charlie got sick with the flu. Out of concern, Esme and Carlisle had us move in with them until Charlie got better. While I was gracious to them, they were going on a midnight cruise around the Peninsula for New Year's. Nobody could watch Jeannie on New Year's Eve. I worried when Jeannie started to get a cough, too.

"Just bring her along," Alice said. "I don't think anybody's going to be super-smashed at the party. All we're going to be doing is eating, talking, and playing games like Apples to Apples and watching the ball drop. She's a social baby, let her just meet people and then we'll put her to sleep upstairs."

I got dressed and put Jeannie in her footie pajamas. She'd be upstairs in one of Alice's guest bedrooms, sleeping through the night. Hopefully. I just wanted to be with friends when I said good-bye to 2013- the shittiest year of my life, so far. Well, except for the birth of my daughter. That was the only good thing.

The night was just getting started around eight. Jeannie and I walked into the house with my _hors d'oeuvres_ and a diaper bag.

Jeannie got passed around and she flirted and giggled with people and was center of attention. I got a chance to relax and talk to people and just enjoy myself until Edward Cullen walked in the door with Lauren Mallory.

Don't get me wrong, I like Lauren- now. Lauren was a pain-in-the-ass in high school, but she lightened up when she went to beauty school. She's always been very pretty, although she's been going to tanning beds so much that now, she's starting to look older than the rest of us. She worked at a high-priced ritzy salon in Port Angeles for a long time, now she's opening up her own little salon here in the Forks area with two other girls, since there's no good place for a girl to get a haircut. I think she's had a boob job, too, because all of her is pretty skinny, except for her breasts. They've gotten absolutely enormous since high school. She wears a lot of black clothing, which sets off the blondeness of her hair and lots of black eye make up and really pretty shoes- all the time. It's not quite gothic looking, but it's very striking. She's very striking, especially now.

A part of me felt like I had been kicked when I saw them together. And here I was, my baby was my date. Jeannie was getting a little sleepy-looking, so I grabbed her from Rosalie. "I think I'm going to put her down," I said, quickly. "She's getting a cold. Say good-night, Figgy!"

"Good night, Jeannie Beannie!" Rosalie said. The group standing around her cooed good-night and waved and said _bye-bye_ and _nighty-night_ in high-pitched voices. Jeannie waved as I took her upstairs.

I had forgotten the bottle of breastmilk I had pumped earlier. Great. She never went to sleep without breastmilk. I was going to have to nurse her, and this was a one-piece dress. I tugged the dress off and nursed her on the bed with the lights off. Most of my life I spent nursing her, it felt like. I didn't really mind it, now, though. To think I was referring to it as a nightmare in the first few days. What was wrong with me? I loved having a baby. There was nothing better. It also gave me an excuse to get away from a situation like Edward Cullen walking in the door with his newest conquest. I bitterly wondered if he was sleeping with her, yet. I had heard once that whores do it on the first date, prudes wait until the third. So, I was supposed to have sex with some one on the second date? I thought about Mike, of course- we hadn't had sex until we were seniors in high school, mostly because I attacked him one night in his SUV. He had been caught off-guard, but had been willing once I showed him the birth control that Esme had bought for me. We had been dating for several months by then. I was very inexperienced in dating, now. Girls my age who hadn't been married usually had had several lovers by now and as many boyfriends. I had only dated one person in my life- Mike. Jeannie needed burping and to switch sides, now.

There was a knock on the door. "Just a minute!" I yelled. "I'm not dressed!"

"It's us," Alice said. "Ang, Rose and me."

"Oh, OK, come in."

"Why'd you run out?" Rose asked, slipping in the door. I didn't mind being in my bra and thong in front of my best friends. "Was it because of Edward coming in with Lauren Mallory?"

"No, I swear."

"They're just friends," Alice said. "I promise. She did his oh-so-natural highlight job. Can you say 'metrosexual?'"

My friends all giggled. "I couldn't see it."

"That's because the lights are so low," Alice said.

"I thought you wanted to start dating again," Angela said. "Why didn't you go out with Edward again?"

"I don't know," I said. "I just feel like…"

"She feels like Mike doesn't want her dating again," Rosalie said.

"Oh, that does it! I'm getting out my Ouija board!" Alice cried.

"No! You shouldn't mess with the spirit world!" Angela cried. "Bella, sweetheart, why do you think Mike wouldn't want you to be happy? I'm sure he's in heaven right now, wishing you and Jeannie could find somebody who'd love you and take care of you-"

"If that isn't the most unfeministic crap I've ever heard," Rosalie snorted.

"I mean, emotionally!" Angela cried. "Jeannie's going to need a father. Charlie's OK at it, but he's a grandpa, not a dad. Mike didn't plan on not being here, but I don't think he'd ever not want Jeannie not taken care of. And I don't think he'd ever want you to be lonely."

Rose muttered something like, "Toldja," under her breath.

"I just am kinda worried," I said. "If everybody has one great love in their life, what if Mike was mine? I'm pretty sure he was my soul mate. Isn't it sort of downhill from here if Mike was it for me?"

"Oh, Bella don't say that!" Angela cried.

"Soul mates- that's a load of crap," Rosalie said. "Love is what you make of it- no pun intended. Maybe the dating pool is too shallow here in Forks and La Push, but we'll find somebody for you, even if we have to look on the internet!"

"Oh please, no internet dating!" I cried, my cheeks flushing.

Jeannie made a grunting sound to indicate that she was almost asleep and that we needed to shut up. She detached. I put my breast back in my bra cup and cradled her in my arms.

"If you don't want us scouring the internet for a date for you, go down there and show Edward Cullen that you are ready to start dating again," Rosalie said. "Putting the dress back on is optional."

**

* * *

A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I did put my dress back on before going downstairs. Emmett and Jasper were doing an extremely poor karaoke version of _Man of Constant Sorrow_ from _Oh Brother Where Art Thou?_ but their audience was loving it. Rosalie was not loving it. Alice thought it was hysterical.

Other people started doing karaoke afterwards, which brought a new sense of fun to the party. I was having a good time cheering them along and helping them pick out a few songs here and there. Angela and Jacob had to leave- they had another party on the reservation to go to before midnight. As I was listening to Jessica Stanley and her gay best friend sing Dancing Queen, I heard a deep voice in my ear. "Hi, Bella." It was Edward.

"Hi, Edward," I said. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well," he said. He was studying me, concerned. Those deep, bottle-green eyes bore into mine. He had had a little to drink. "How are you?"

"Hanging in there," I said. "Your trip to Chicago is coming up, soon, isn't it?"

"Yes, I leave day after tomorrow," he said.

"How long will you be gone for?" I asked.

"A week," he said. "It'll give me time to recharge my batteries. See some old friends."

"That's always good," I said, glancing down. He had a scotch and tonic in his hand. He smelled a little bit like that- it was kind of sexy.

"Hey everybody," Alice said over the microphone. "It's almost midnight! Hope you all have somebody to kiss!"

"Will you be my midnight kiss?" he asked.

"Edward, you came with somebody," I said. "Lauren."

"She's left already," he said. "Besides, it's nothing exclusive. So, will you?"

"Edward, I can't!" I cried. Jasper turned on the flatscreen TV over the fireplace and started flipping channels.

I slipped away to Alice's side. At this point, Emmett was up, singing _Baby Got Back_ with some of his friends from poker. He was slightly trashed. Alice grabbed my hand. "What is it?"

"Edward just asked me to be his midnight kiss!" I cried.

"Yeah, so?" Alice asked as if it were funny.

"I can't do that!" I cried.

Alice handed me a glass of wine from the countertop full of champagne flutes that she was pouring. "Just drink up," she said. "It'll make the champagne go down easier at midnight." She winked at me.

I found Rose starting a game of Apples to Apples. I didn't play, but I sat with her. I whispered in her ear what was going on. She just smirked. "What's the problem? It's just a kiss, Bella. No harm can come from a simple kiss. You're acting like you're in high school or something."

"You're one to talk," I said.

"So, you're nothing but the frigid, scary Widow Newton, now?" she asked.

"No!" I cried. "I'm not frigid!" I hissed.

"OK, fine, tell him OK and then lay one on him," she said.

Emmett was singing with a Scottish accent, now, trying to dance, drunkenly. He had had entirely too much to drink. "Hey man, slow down, you gotta get home!" Jasper said.

"What are you talking about? I got a sober ride for the next nine months!" Emmett cried, his voice a few decibels too loud. Everything stopped. A glass broke. Alice suddenly ran from the room. "Oh shit."

Rosalie laughed politely, putting off everybody's concerns. "Well, we're only a few weeks along, but it's true," she admitted. "Excuse me." She left the room through the door Alice exited.

I checked on Jeannie, first, she was sleeping despite the noise downstairs. Her breathing was a little ragged from the cough she had developed. I went to leave, and I saw a light shining under the door to the master bedroom suite. Alice. Oh yeah, Rose was pregnant and everybody knew, now. I knocked on the door, and I could hear Alice sobbing softly.

"Alice, it's me," I called.

"Come in," Alice called.

"Hi," I said, opening the door. She and Rosalie were sitting on the bed together, Alice dabbing at her eyes with a soggy tissue.

"Hi, Bella," she said.

"We wanted to tell everybody in private, honestly," Rosalie said. "Our best friends, first. Then, Emmett had to go and announce it at a party for everybody to hear."

"I don't know why I'm getting so upset," Alice said. "It's been almost a year, and we still haven't gotten pregnant! Granted, we stopped trying for a while after the accident, but, it's just so unfair! Everybody's getting pregnant but me!"

"It's OK to be mad at me," Rosalie said.

"You just decided you wanted to get pregnant, and month later- bam!" Alice sobbed. "That take-home robot baby health class project in high school was the best week of my life! And I was always the one that played house when I was little! I wouldn't let my mom sell my baby dolls in yard sales or give them away, either. I thought you hated kids until Will was born."

"I know," Rosalie said. "I did. It's different when they're your own or a close friend's."

"Have you seen a fertility specialist?" I asked.

"We're going to see one, soon," Alice said. "Dad said he'd pay for two treatments of in vitro if fertility treatments didn't work. God, what's wrong with my uterus!"

"Maybe it's something minor that can be fixed," I said. "Really simply. You never know."

"I bet it's not," Alice said. "Jasper and I don't want to have to adopt! You'll be on a waiting list for years, unless you arrange a private one or pay for it! I don't want dirty dealings with my baby!"

"There's no shame in paying for an adoption," I said.

"Maybe I'm too physically small to carry a baby," she said.

"Alice, don't push it," I said, looking at my torso that was much different from in high school. Alice was one of those girls that stayed tiny her whole life.

The door opened- it was Jasper. "Hey, Allie," he said. "The ball's about to drop."

"Oh," she said, tossing the tissue in a waste basket, standing up and smoothing her dress. "I'm fine. I don't want to be a poor hostess."

Downstairs, feeling emboldened by the wine, but not quite drunk, either, I located Edward in the sunroom with a few of Jasper's work friends. Emmett had resorted to singing songs in the style of William Shatner.

"I'll be your midnight kiss," I whispered in his ear, sitting down next to him. Rosalie's dare was just what I needed. I was a fucking porn star, man.

"OK, good," he said. "The ball is about to drop." Taking my hand, he pulled me up off the couch.

The countdown to 2014 started. I was going to make Edward Cullen wish he had come to Forks sooner. Edward swayed a bit under the influence of the alcohol when the ball dropped for the West Coast. I cupped his face, aggressively. "Happy New Year," I said, arching an eye brow. I kissed him, hard, pressing my breasts against him. I wished I had taken my bra off after nursing Jeannie, but the girls weren't what they used to be. Frigid, my ass! I showed him. I slipped my tongue into his mouth, just for a moment, just long enough to tease him, but not long enough for anybody to notice. I let go of him and smirked when he stumbled a bit and his eyes rolled. He liked aggressive women. Good.

I helped Alice and Rosalie clean up some of the dishes and glasses and put away some of the food. People were disappearing, now. Alice was ordering us around as if nothing happened.

"Bella, can you help get Emmett out to the car?" Alice asked.

"Sure," I said. I found Edward in the living room with Emmett, who was pretty messed up, laying face-down on the couch. "Let's get him out to Rosalie's car."

"He's a big guy," Edward said. Emmett angrily muttered something into the couch cushion that we couldn't understand. Edward took Emmett's arm and helped him sit up.

"Are you OK to drive home?" I asked Edward as we each took one of Emmett's arms.

"To be honest, I'd really rather not," he said.

"I'll take you," I said. "If you don't mind being seen in a beat up Toyota Corolla."

"Not at all," he said. "I don't want to impose on Alice." We sat Emmett down in the passenger seat of his own car. His head lolled to the side. "I hope he doesn't vomit on himself. Or this car."

"Hey guys," Rosalie said, coming out of the house. "Thanks."

"We're going to have so much fun Monday morning," I said. Emmett's eyes fluttered and he flipped me off through the window. "Is there anything left to do in the house?"

"Alice says no," Rosalie said.

"OK," I said. "Edward, I'll be right back, I just need to get my purse and my keys."

"Sure."

I found my coat, purse and keys in the study. Outside, I found Rosalie and Edward helping Emmett puke out the car door.

"Nice," Rose said, shaking her head. "Is that it?" she asked.

"Mmm-hmm," Emmett muttered, still hanging down like a rag doll. She put him back into the car, like piling up a sack of potatoes.

"Sober ride my ass," she said. "Good night. Happy New Year."

"Good night, Rose."

"Good night."

"Come on."

I remembered the way back to his house. It wasn't a long drive, but I had to be careful. The fog was coming in and the heater in my car wasn't working well. I'd have to take it to Jake, soon.

"Do you want to come in?"

"Sure."

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I couldn't see the ocean from the fog rolling in.

"Would you like a nightcap?" Edward asked.

"Sure," I said. In the living room, I kicked off my shoes. He had an incredible white area carpet on the hardwood floors, I didn't want to track dirty water on it.

He came back into the living room with a tumbler. "Here," he said. It was a sweet concoction. "I got you to kiss me again. I don't know what I did wrong the first time."

"You didn't do anything wrong," I said.

"You certainly kiss well when you drink," he said.

"I didn't kiss well before?" I asked.

He just smiled and me and took another sip. I put my drink down and took his. "Don't ever say that, again, Edward Cullen," I said. I grabbed his tie and kissed him, again. He was sort of expecting me to kiss him, though. His mouth opened and this time, we fought for dominance. He pulled me into him. Our kiss turned into several long, slow, intense ones. When he backed me up into the trestle table on the wall, he grabbed my ass and lifted me onto it. Then, I realized my bra had been unhooked through my dress and he had unzipped it under my arm. "That's a talent," I said, pulling away.

"I have a few more," he said, cunningly.

"So do I," I replied, just as deviously. I reached into the shoulder of my dress and pulled on the shoulder strap of my bra, then the other one, removing it all together through the arm hole of my dress. I dangled it out beside me and dropped it on the floor. I was so glad I hadn't worn pantyhose tonight. His eyebrows raised, and I saw his pants tighten a bit. All rational thought was leaving my brain, and probably his, too. The table was so shallow that I didn't have to lean that far back to lean on the wall. He pressed me up against it and pressed a kiss to my swollen mouth and then worked his way across my chin and onto the hollow of my neck. I moaned at the delicious sensation of him against me. I hadn't been with anybody in so long. I couldn't even touch myself with a baby sleeping five feet away from me for fear of waking her up. I wrapped my legs around his hips, and his hands slid up my thighs. "I want you so bad," I muttered into his ear, feeling his arousal.

"Ever since that day in your dad's kitchen," he said, his thumb sliding between the cloth of my thong and my slick folds. I moaned in response, pressing closer to him. "Uptight girls turn me on."

"I'm not uptight!" I cried.

"Not right now," he said, his other hand finding my breast through the wool of my dress. He began to rub with his thumb, causing me to moan and buck against him. He reached up my skirt and pulled my panties off and dropped them on the floor, leaving my ass naked on the table. Bending my legs so that my feet were on the narrow table beside me, it gave him better access to the most feverish part of me, although it was an awkward position. His hands made use of the new access, causing and releasing ache and pains I was completely unfamiliar with, now. It felt like I had never been touched there before, it had been so long. Animal-like moans escaped my mouth that I didn't recognize as my own for a moment.

Eagerly, I began to unbutton his navy blue silk shirt, exposing a perfect, pale chest. He was much more slender and sinewy than Mike had been, but I didn't have much time to admire him because he was stripping out of the rest of his clothes. He was just as eager for this as I was. I only had a moment to glimpse what he looked like- perfect- before he slid my bunched-up dress off my torso. "Bella, you are so beautiful," he muttered in a raspy voice. I wrapped my legs around his hips and he surged into me so hard it hurt. I squeezed my eyes shut and cried out, banging my head back against the wall. Gripping me under the arm, he used his thumb to tease my nipple as he thrust into me repeatedly, building the sensation of a pending climax as I moved with him. I gripped his shoulders and arched my back when it happened.

For a moment, I felt like I was floating, then falling to earth. It was a wonderful sensation; it lasted for several minutes, then the flush of endorphins, accompanied by a heavy full-body blush. I opened my eyes and literally saw stars in my vision. They were emerald, and closing in on my eyes.

"You look so beautiful right now," he said. His forehead met mine as I caught my breath. "That was amazing," he panted. "You're blushing- all over." He laughed, exhausted.

"I know," I said, catching my breath. "I always blush after I orgasm." _That was the best sex I ever had,_ I thought. Then, I stiffened. Oh God, how could anybody be better at sex than Mike was with me? Mike… I had just insulted his memory in the worst way possible. I had just had made love to another man- not even one that I had a steady, committed relationship with, and it wasn't making love, it was sex. Cheap, smutty, tawdry, dirty sex. The kind where I simply used someone. On a table and I hadn't even done it with him in a bed, first? I had a child- at Alice's house, who was probably waking up, wanting to be nursed and have her diaper changed. What would she think of me if she was old enough to know what I had just done? This was whore-ish behavior and I had just lost all the virtue any widow could have. I had never been with anybody other than Mike. And I had just used Edward for my own personal satisfaction. I could always say that I never used anybody, but here I was, using Edward. I don't know what people did in Chicago, but living in Forks for the last few years had taught me not to do things like this to people. I was suddenly very sober.

Edward looked at me with concern. "What's the matter?"

"I just need to get back to Jeannie," I said.

"Of course," he replied.

I felt a nervous laugh escape from my mouth as he helped me off the narrow table. "I'm so sorry. I've just never done this before!"

"It's alright. Everybody does it once," he said.

"You have to understand, the only person I've ever been with was my husband," I stammered, picking my clothes up with trembling hands. "We- we've been together so long- we were together-"

"Bella, I understand," he said. He had donned his boxer-briefs, which were supposed to cover him up, but didn't make it any easier for me. "We didn't do anything wrong."

That wasn't quite the truth to me. Somehow, I managed to control my tears until I finished getting dressed and out of his house. I felt so guilty, so wrong. "You'll be OK?" he asked as I left.

"Mmm-hmm," I managed. He took my hand in his, lacing his fingers through mine, and kissed the back of my palm.

"I'll see you when I get back from Chicago," he said. "I'll try to call you." The proverbial _I'll call you_. Right. Sure he would. I got into the car and held it together until I was on the road. I had destroyed any chances at a relationship with Edward Cullen.

The backdoor to Alice's and Jasper's house was opened for me. Everyone had gone to bed and was asleep. I walked in and took my shoes and coat off, setting them down on the couch. Their living room was a mess- they hadn't done that much cleaning up after I left.

Upstairs, Jeannie was actually asleep. I picked her up and carried her to the bed. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I held my sleeping baby. I couldn't tell her that the only men I had ever slept with I had done so responsibly and in healthy long-term relationships when the time came. From today forward, that would be lying. She cuddled up to me, her head in the hollow of my neck.

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I felt so dirty after what I did. Edward was leaving for two weeks. And what kind of example had I set for Jeannie? I hoped to God she never found out- I hoped that no one ever found out.

I spent the next day in my pajamas contemplating what I had done. There was no way Edward could even respect me after New Year's. I had ruined any chance of a relationship. This could never happen again. Edward never called me from Chicago.

At the Safeway, Jeannie and I went grocery shopping about a week later to make a thank-you dinner for Carlisle and Esme, although I had moved back in with Charlie, again, since he was feeling better. Carlisle was worried about Jeannie's cough- I had been doping her up with baby cough medicine, although it didn't do much other than make her sleepy and cranky.

My guilt made me want to hide. I wondered if it had somehow gotten out that I did something so terrible for my own selfish pleasures. And with the respectable cousin of my best friend, no less! Carlisle and Esme were like parents to me! They'd never speak to me again if it got out!

"Ooh, little Jeannie!" the cashier said as we checked out. Everybody in town knew Jeannie by name. She was a star, after the local paper had come by and taken pictures of the store at the reopening, which she had ended up in. "You got quite a cough there! You should stop by the pharmacy and see about baby cough medicine."

I went to the drug store and checked in with Vera Franklin, our pharmacist.

"Bella, are you getting her vaccinated?" Vera asked.

"Just the basics. I've heard about the autism and vaccines link," I said.

"She sounds like she's getting Whooping Cough," she said. "Not quite, though."

"Is that bad?" I asked.

"It's making a come back, lately," Vera said. "So many people aren't getting all the vaccines and then their kids get these diseases."

"How serious is it?" I asked.

"It can get pretty serious," Vera said. "If she starts running a fever or starts vomiting from the force of the cough, get a doctor to check her out."

"I'll keep an eye on that," I said.

Emmett and I ran the store like usual.

When Jeannie's cough got worse and worse, she got quieter. She wasn't singing and laughing like normal. I always said that I didn't worry about her getting kidnapped because I'd know if somebody tried to pick her up and run simply from the lack of noise. I found her in her glider, her head lolled to the side. There was vomit on the bib of her jumper. A part of me panicked.

"Jeannie!" I cried, clapping. Her blue eyes batted and she looked up at me and hacked out a cough that sounded like a Whooping Crane, causing her whole body to convulse. I picked her up out of her glider and felt her forehead. I had been checking her for a fever for a few days now, but she was never warm. Finally, she felt hot. Really hot. "Oh no," I said. I took her to the office and took her temperature with a rectal thermometer, although it was difficult with all the coughing she was doing. She was at 102 degrees. I tugged her raincoat on and grabbed my purse. "Emmett!" I yelled. "I'm taking Jeannie to the ER! She's running a fever and she's vomiting!"

I didn't wait for his response.

Jeannie was miserable on the ride to the hospital. She began to cry, but couldn't, with the coughing.

In the ER, Marge let us in without a lot of paperwork. While I tried to fill out the papers, Jeannie vomited from her coughs, and I knew it was bad. The Triage nurse put the little wrist band on Jeannie and took her temperature with an ear thermometer. "Oh my- 103.8. This little girl's got quite a fever. Did you just notice, Bella?"

"I've been taking her temperature for three days now, and she's been at 98.5," I said. "She just got so quiet today and when I took her temperature… it was so high!"

"Your thermometer might have been dropped a few times too many," the nurse said. "This is a very sick little girl. Let's get her in immediately."

In the ER, I changed her out of her soiled outfit and left her in her diaper to cool her off. The coughing got more and more ragged. I had heard of babies dying of fevers. I shushed her and rocked her. "You're going to be alright," I said, although it was more for me than for her.

"Bella?" I looked up to see Edward in my ER cubicle. He was supposed to be in Chicago until the end of this week, wasn't he? He hadn't called me after I had had sex with him in a completely dirty, nasty way, but, he was a doctor, he could help my baby. I had to swallow my pride. "I see that Jeannie's not feeling well."

"She suddenly started running a fever," I said, looking away from him. I couldn't meet his eyes. "She's been vomiting from coughing." He listened to her cough.

"How long has she been coughing like this?" he asked, getting out his stethoscope.

"About a week and half," I said. "I just thought it was normal cold since she hasn't been running a fever or anything."

"It doesn't sound like it," he said, breathing on the metal circle to warm it. He put the ear pieces on and listened to Jeannie's chest for a minute. He took off the stethoscope. "This is definitely _Bordetella pertussis_, better known as Whooping Cough. We'll have to do some throat swab tests to confirm it, but I'm pretty sure this is what it is. Hasn't she been vaccinated?"

"I chose to get fewer vaccinations for my baby," I said.

"What?" he yelled. "Why on earth would you do that?" he cried.

"The autism and vaccines link!" I cried.

"There's no real proof of that!" he cried. "Bella!"

"When you have kids, you'll think twice before letting somebody inject your baby full of dead antibodies!" I snapped.

"It's perfectly safe," he cried. "I can't believe you're putting your daughter at risk like this?" He pulled the curtain and lowered his voice. "Bella, I know how health insurance is. If it's a money problem-"

"It's not a money problem, Edward!" I cried. "We're perfectly well insured, too, so don't go around acting like you have to save us," I replied, although medical bills weren't easy for me.

"If it's a money problem, I can always grab an extra syringe of the vaccines for you," he said in the same low voice. "Nobody will notice it's missing."

"Edward, I don't need your charity," I said, although what had happened on New Year's was sort of charity, when I thought about it. The flush in my cheeks began to rise.

"It's not charity," he said. "I love Jeannie. She's a great kid. And you've put her life in danger because of some stupid chain letter you got from God-knows-where!"

"I didn't read about it on the internet," I said. "I've read magazines and journals about the autism-vaccines link."

"Well, I can't give it to her right now," he said. "The most we can do is trying to get her fever to come down and then let the cough take its course."

"What are you going to do?"

"Cool her off. We'll give her some baby aspirin and then give her an alcohol bath and see if that does it for her," he said, making notes on a clipboard. "We're going to do some culture tests on her, I'll administer those. We're going to need to keep her overnight in the ICU on an antibiotic IV."

Oh no, I thought. My baby would be in a strange hospital room without me with a needle in her. I watched as Edward took a long cotton swab and swabbed her throat for a culture test.

"I'll have the nurse come in," he said curtly, and exited.

I couldn't help feeling like I had messed up. I should have seen the warning signs. She had gotten sick before, but not like this. I felt like an idiot for not getting her vaccinated. I had thought,_ this is America, not a 3rd world country, what terrible diseases could she possibly come in contact that she can't get immunity through my breastmilk from_? I felt like a complete fool. Maybe I hadn't been as thorough in my research on vaccines as I should have been. I felt tears rushing my eyes.

It wasn't a long wait before one of the ER nurses came in and escorted me into the Critical unit. I helped her with giving Jeannie the baby aspirin. She didn't like it all. We took her to a small tub and the nurse took her diaper off and rubbed her in rubbing alcohol. It stank, but it seemed to do the trick. She took Jeannie's temperature after that, and it had come down to 102. She cried when they stuck her with the IV needle for the antibiotics and hydrating fluid and taped it down. She picked at it- she didn't like it. They put little socks over her hands so she couldn't pull on it.

Charlie came in during visiting hours. "So, how's my little Figgy?" he asked.

"She's getting better," I said as they set her into a special crib in an ICU room. "Dad, I really screwed up."

"Bells, you didn't screw up," he said. "She wasn't running a fever. We just thought she had a really bad cough."

The nurses shooed us out of the Critical Care room and Charlie and I went to the waiting room. Charlie came back with some coffee for me. "Here," he said. I took a sip- it tasted like melted tires.

I forced a smile. "Thanks, Dad," I said.

I watched TV before my friends came by to see me. Alice and Jasper brought pajamas for me and a few blankets and pillows for Charlie and me in case we spent the night. Emmett brought me decent coffee. Angela left her angel pin with me to put on Jeannie's pillow. Jacob gave me a small dream catcher to put over her crib like the one she had at home. I was allowed in during visiting hours, but it killed me. I worried that she was waking up and I wasn't there. What were they feeding her? Icky formula? Was she even taking food? Did they have her in disposable diapers? Was she crying? Were the ICU nurses able to calm her down? My ears were hyper aware of any sounds coming out of the Critical Care doors. I'd run through them if I heard her cry at all. I tried to sleep on the couch, despite the clothing that had some of her vomit on it.

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

On the third day, I woke up to Fox News talking about how the liberals were destroying America and were allied with the Al Qaeda. My mouth tasted like old socks, there was a permanent crick in my neck from sleeping on the waiting room couches, and I felt greasy all over from not having showered in three days. It was going to be a half hour before the visiting hours started, so I went to the cafeteria to the coffee machine to get something. I had sent Charlie home for clean clothes and medications. He had had excruciating back pain trying to sleep in a bed asides from his own.

After some morning sludge, I went back up to the ICU waiting room to wait. I'd wait forever. Her fever was persistently staying around 100. I worried about the damage it would do to her little body.

At six am, I was waiting at the ICU doors to be let in. They opened open up five minutes early. I washed my hands carefully in the sink before touching Jeannie.

Her personality hadn't come back, but she was still coughing like a Whooping Crane. They had her in disposable diapers, but that was it. She had been on the IV ever since the first day. Her little cheeks were ruddy. I looked down at the physician's name that checked on her- I saw a pair of initials scratched in several times since she had been in the ICU. I couldn't read them.

"Hi, Figgy," I said. "Feeling any better?" I asked.

She just sighed and a weak cough came out. She was sitting up, at least.

"Hi, Bella."

"Edward?" I asked, turning around. He was in the ICU. I didn't want him seeing me this messy.

"Just coming in to check on my favorite patient before I finish my shift," he said. "She's improving."

"Good," I said, resting my chin on the crib railing.

"We're going to downgrade her from the ICU, soon," he said, reaching into the crib to stroke her head. "She broke her fever this morning."

"You're kidding!" I cried.

"Yeah. I just asked them to keep her admitted until she's maintained twenty-four hours without a fever," he said. "You can go home, now. I know you haven't left your daughter's side."

I was surprised he had kept tabs on me. I hadn't even known if he had been anywhere near the hospital since we left the ER. Personally, I didn't want to know.

"Edward?" I asked. "Be honest with me, because I can't stand any bullshit right now. Why didn't you call me?"

"Don't turn this around on me," he said, signing the physician's roster. "You know why I didn't call."

"Edward, I'm not up for mind games right now," I said. I looked down at the clipboard- those were his initials up and down the paper. He had been checking on my Jeannie Beannie in the ICU, even though was an ER doctor. I looked up and he was gone. I felt bitter towards him, but my tiredness won out.

I sat in the waiting room, sipping coffee that tasted terrible while watching bad TV, still. I was waiting for them to move Jeannie out of the ICU. I saw the doors open and a group of transport techs were moving the crib. I jumped up, tossing the coffee in the closest garbage can.

"Jeannie!" I cried, running to the crib. She was asleep in the crib. "This is it?" I asked. "You're moving her?"

"Yes, Dr. Edward downgraded her out of the ICU today," he said. I followed them to the hospital room and called Charlie to tell him about the move. I collapsed on the couch.

When I woke up, the lights were out and a blanket was draped over me. Jeannie had pulled herself up to standing and was looking at somebody, who was talking softly to her- Edward!

"Edward?" I mumbled.

"Bella," he said. "Just checking on Jeannie."

"Edward, what did you mean by 'don't turn this around on me' when I asked why you didn't call?" I asked, too groggy to help being blunt.

"I did call, your number was disconnected," he said.

"My phone is working just fine, is that why you thought I had financial trouble?" I asked.

"No, it's not," he said. "Not the number that was on your phone on New Year's Eve. You changed it."

"Edward, I have the same cell phone number I've had for the past five years," I said.

"Is this your number?" he asked, pulling out his Treo and pulling up a phonebook entry under my name. It was one digit off. I laughed out of fatigue.

"Edward, that's not my number," I said.

"It's not?"

"Didn't you check it with Alice?" I asked, between weary giggles.

"Alice would start asking questions," he said. "Bella, calm down."

"I'm going on day four without a sleeping in a decent bed or taking a shower," I said. "I've had nothing but cafeteria food and mud that passes for coffee. All this because my baby has been hospitalized and in the ICU and you're telling me to stay calm after you didn't call me back after I fucked you on an end table like a prostitute?"

"Your daughter's awake," he said, sounding annoyed.

"I don't care at this point," I said. "My kid almost died. I'm just happy she can hear me talking trash. That night was traumatizing for me!"

"Traumatizing, my ass!" he snapped. That was completely unlike him. "Please don't tell me you're so boring that's the dirtiest position you've ever done it in."

"No, it's not," I said. "I just don't know you that well. That whole thing- it was lust. We were using each other. I started comparing you to my husband. That's not fair to you. I know that I'm not ready to be with somebody new, yet. That's why I said I can't pursue a relationship with you right now."

"It's OK to compare me to him, just don't expect me to be like him," Edward said. "And don't feel guilty. I enjoyed it, too. I just wish you'd come back to me."

"Good sex doesn't equal love," I said.

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I felt foolish for feeling so paranoid. Edward had tried calling me, honestly. I'd deal with it, later. It had been the last thing on my mind while Jeannie was in the ICU.

"I'm in no shape to talk about it right now," I told Edward.

"Fine," Edward said. Charlie entered the room.

"Hi, Bella. Hi, Dr… Edward?" he asked.

"Hi, Charlie," Edward replied. "She's doing much better."

"Bells, why don't you let me stay with her? You go home and take a shower," he said.

"Dad, I'm in no shape to drive, I'm so sleep-deprived," I said.

"I can drive you," Edward said. I bet you want to, I thought. I couldn't place my finger on why I was so angry at him, but I was. While I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth, it would give him an opportunity to have a long talk with me, although my brain was going in 50 different directions right now, I couldn't hope to hold a decent conversation with him if I tried.

"If you could, Edward, that would be great," Charlie said.

"Come on, Bella, I was about to go home, anyways," he said.

In a dreamstate, I followed him to the employee parking garage and to his Volvo. He let me into the passenger seat.

Somewhere between my house and the hospital, I fell asleep. I woke up in an unfamiliar bedroom with a stand-up piano in the corner and the sun was just going down outside. I looked around, slightly scared. This bed was incredibly comfortable. It had to be one of those pillow top mattresses that felt like a featherbed. What had just happened? Were the past four days a nightmare? I lifted the sheets, and I was in the same clothes I had been wearing for almost a week, now.

There was a staircase that led down to something familiar. I found a living room with leather furniture- and a trestle table that I had sat on naked. I almost fainted. I was in Edward Cullen's beachside cottage. Edward was standing at the kitchen stove, making something. He was dressed in gray pajama pants that might have been made of cashmere, and a navy blue long-sleeved top and crocs. "Good morning. Or should I say good afternoon?" he asked, turning around. I looked down and realized I was still dressed in my clothes from the hospital.

"Why am I in your house?" I asked.

"You fell asleep in my car," he said. "And when I got to your house, we were locked out. You forgot your purse, we had no keys. I didn't have the heart to drag you back to the hospital, I wanted to rest, too, so I just brought you home. Do you want some tilapia?"

"Is that your room?" I asked, pointing up the staircase.

"Yes," he said.

"Why did you put me in there?" I asked.

"Because it kept you out of the way, Bella," he said, putting a plate down on the table. "I slept on the couch down here. Geez, you sure are hostile."

"Can't you guess why?" I asked.

"It was an accident," he said. "I've corrected your phone number in my phonebook."

I was being hostile. It was easy to fall back on negative behavior. I was still angry over losing Mike, but I wasn't angry at Mike. What was there to be angry over, now? Who was there to be angry at? The Universe? God? For taking Mike from me? When it came down to it, Edward was a good man. He was honest and polite and kind. He had expressed affection towards me in the way he thought I wanted, although he had been a bit drunk and I had been more sober than he had been. The anger I had been squelching and suppressing for so long was tiring. I was tired of being angry. I sat down on the couch, resting my head in my hands so he couldn't see the angry tears that were filling my eyes and threatening to rush down my cheeks or the lump rising in my throat.

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice cracking. "Honest mistake."

"Bella," he said, sitting down beside me, pressing a hand to my shoulder blade.

"I'm sorry," I repeated myself. "I'm so tired of being angry."

"I know," he said. "Let's skip dinner for now," he said, picking me up. He carried me up the stairs and to the bathroom, setting me down on a chair. He went over to the giant, deep bathtub and turned it on. "Let's see if I can remember how to work this thing."

"You don't know how to run your own bathtub?" I asked, wiping my face.

"I've used it once since I've been here," he admitted. He finally got the plug working and the tub began filling up. I realized it was a Jacuzzi bathtub. I had only seen one of those on my honeymoon before and on TV.

"Thanks, I can get it from here," I said, standing.

"No," he said, standing up. "No, let me take care of you, Isabella." He gently, carefully undressed me. I was thoroughly aware of my bodily imperfections as my clothing came off- childbirth and breastfeeding had left my body not nearly as pert or as firm as before. He didn't seem to notice. He picked me up when I was completely naked and set me down in the bathtub as it filled. It was a huge bathtub, really. The water felt wonderful.

He got out a washcloth and a bottle of shampoo. I slipped under the water to wet my hair down. It was so greasy, if I had run my hand up through it, I'm sure it would have stood straight up. He washed my hair for me as I wiped my eyes. The tears kept flowing. I didn't know why I was crying so much. Maybe it was too much sleep after almost nine months of motherhood.

Edward was very gentle with my hair as he washed it.

"How's this?" he asked. "I'm not getting shampoo in your eyes, am I?"

"No," I answered. "Do you have any conditioner?" I asked.

"No," he said. "Sorry. I'll have some next time."

"There's not really going to be a next time, is there?" I asked. He didn't answer. He tenderly pushed me down into the water to rinse it out. I sat up. "You know, Jeannie's afraid to put her head under the water when I give her baths."

"That's normal," he said. He used the soap on the washcloth and washed off my back. I was probably going to leave a ring around the bathtub I was so dirty. He moved on to my arms, my shoulders… then my breasts. I shivered and his breath caught in his throat. He didn't stay on them for long. He washed my legs off, then my feet. "Do you want to just sit in here? Do you want me to turn the jets on?"

"I just want to stay in here, that's all," I said. "Until the water turns cold."

"Alright. Would you like some wine?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. He got up and left the room. I leaned back in the giant bathtub. I secretly wished he was holding me in it, although I felt quite guilty. Mike did this for me not just a year ago.

Edward entered the room with a beautiful pair of wine glasses and a bottle. He poured it for me. "Say when," he said.

"When," I said. He handed me the stem. I set it on the edge of the tub. "Thank you, Edward."_ I wish you were in here with me, holding me._

I tried to relax. Edward sat down beside the bathtub and took off his shoes. I had never found feet attractive before, but his were kind of sexy. He poured his own glass. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Yeah, a little bit."

"I'll bring something up for you after you get out," he said. We sat in silence for a few minutes. "What happened to you on New Year's Eve? I wasn't as drunk as I was pretending to be."

"I started thinking about Mike," I admitted. "It's a lot of things. I worry that he was the love of my life. And that he doesn't want me dating just yet."

"You were high school sweethearts, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"What were his last words to you? Do you remember?" he asked.

"I love you. Never forget that," I said. His fingers tapped the wine glass.

"What makes you think that the love of your life would want you to be unhappy?" Edward asked. "Especially if he says things like that to you in passing. He didn't know that that day was the last day of his life. He only knew that he was going to be apart from you for a day. He doesn't want you to feel guilty, like you're betraying him for going on with your life. The world keeps on turning, Bella. Mike knows this."

"You're talking about Mike in present tense."  
"I know."

"Everybody around me talks about him in the past."

"I believe in life after death. It's kind of hard not to with all that I see in the ER."

"Why?" I asked. "You're a man of science."

"Bella, I can't believe that energy just dies. I know that Mike still loves you. I hate competing with his memory, but I can see that you want to move on, but it's your love for him that won't let you."

"What do I do? I just wish somebody else could tell me what to do I'm so confused," I said.

"I can't," he said. "I wish I could make you love me."

"What?" I asked.

"I wish I could make you love me," he repeated. "I'm just afraid I'm falling in love with you. And Jeannie. I hate to admit it. It's happening so fast. That's why what you said to me this morning just about killed me."

"Edward-"

"No, really," he said. "Maybe it's too soon to say I'm in love with you, but I think about you a lot. Really. That's why I came home from Chicago early." I slid down further into the tub, my chin skimming the water. The water was starting to cool off. I shivered, slightly. "Until you freaked out, I was so happy New Year's Eve. I thought you liked aggressive sex, although I never intended on hurting you. I didn't hurt you did I?"

"Not in a bad way," I said. "Can we not talk about the sex?"

"Alright," he said. "How's the water?"

"It's getting cold," I said.

"Do you want to get out?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. He stood and held out a hand to me, helping me up. He wrapped a white, fluffy towel around my shoulders and picked me up to help me over the edge of the bathtub. I set my feet onto the bathmat as he set me down. I didn't feel so paranoid about my body, now. I took the towel and ran it over my limbs and then towel-dried my hair. I didn't care anymore that I was completely naked in front of him, now. This was an honest, raw, vulnerable moment, not like New Year's. I wasn't sure what to wear, now. I didn't have any clothes from home. I wondered if Charlie was worried about me, if he had been back to the house, yet. I had left my purse at the hospital, along with my keys and my cell phone. I wondered if Edward had contacted anybody to tell them that I was at his house and not my own. A sense of tiredness washed over me, again.

I wondered into the bedroom and climbed into the bed. He climbed onto the bed beside me and cupped my face, kissing me. I felt so comfortable with him. I laid back and he covered me with the sheets.

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I woke up in the dark to Edward sleeping next to me. I looked at the clock- it had only been an hour. I needed to get dressed and get going. Sometime. I had no clean clothes. I was still naked, but he was in his cashmere sleep pants and long-sleeved top. I sat up, waking him.

"I really need to get going," I said, softly.

"Stay," he said, softly, sitting up, his eyes crossing slightly from the grogginess. "Just for a while." I couldn't tell him no. I laid back down. He pressed a kiss to my bare shoulder. "You're lovely," he said. I laid down on my back as he moved over on top of me for a full kiss on my mouth. I opened my lips to him so he could explore the inside of my mouth with his tongue. It felt good. My heart rate began to speed up. I felt his arousal against my leg through his pants. They were such a nice material, it would be a shame if they were ruined. It also seemed cruel to turn him down.

I opened up my legs to him to settle between. He got up onto his hands and knees and began to take his shirt off. I ran my hands up his abdomen and pushed the fabric up over his head, slowly. I finally got to feel his body, something I hadn't done on the trestle table downstairs. He laid back down on top of me, our chests naked against each other. I wrapped my arms around him to hold onto him, my legs around his hips. He nestled his head into my neck, I could feel him breathing under my ear. He was breathing so fast, he was almost panting. It felt so good. I stroked his hair, letting him know that I liked having him close to me. His lips grazed the hollow of my neck. I moaned, softly.

He lifted his head to kiss me, softly, on the lips. I had shut him down earlier in the hospital room. How terrible of me.

I reach down between us, down the soft, supple fabric of his pants until I found what I was looking for. I gripped him at the base of the shaft and squeezed upwards. His breath hitched. A soft, quiet moan escaped his mouth when my thumb ran over the head. "Oh, Bella," he muttered.

"I want to be with you," I murmured. How many more opportunities like this was I going to have? A whole day without a child around and Edward was voluntarily taking care of me.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes," I said.

Edward, much more gently, got up to get his cashmere pajama pants off and held himself over me. He pushed his way into me much more gently than before, moaning. I pulled him close to me while offering my hips to him. He reached down to rub my clitoris and didn't stop until I came. It was more moaning and quick breaths and gentle caresses instead of violent, selfish actions. It was good. I felt needed, but I needed him.

It was, again, that sensation of falling, accompanied by a creeping blush.

"We're in a real fix, here," Edward sighed, hugging me, burying his face in my collarbone. "You need to get back to the hospital, soon." That wasn't the 'fix' he was talking about.

"I know," I said. _I love you,_ I thought guilty.

"Let's just rest. For a few more minutes," he said.

* * *

Edward took me back to the hospital.

Alice was waiting in the hospital room with Jeannie. Charlie had gone home. "Hi. I gave Charlie your message, Edward," she said. She looked at Edward and me for a moment.

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem," she replied. "She's sleeping pretty soundly."

"Good," I said.

Jeannie was sleeping soundly in her hospital crib. She looked better tonight. I curled up on the couch with Alice as Edward said good-bye to me. He didn't say attempt to kiss me good-bye or be affectionate with me in anyway. I preferred it. I wasn't sure how everyone would take this relationship at a time like this.

"Can you believe this is the one-year anniversary of Mike's death?" Alice asked as I curled up with her.

I gasped.

No, it couldn't be. I had just made love to another man on the anniversary of my husband's death.

"Bella, are you OK?" she asked.

"I didn't realize," I stuttered.

"Oh, I know, with Jeannie being sick, it's been tough to keep up with the days," she said, patting my shoulder. "Do you want to stop by his grave? We can pick up some fresh flowers at the Safeway."

"Um, sure," I said. I certainly couldn't chicken out or say no. Alice would know something was wrong. "I just want to wait for Jeannie to wake up so I can nurse her."

"Oh, of course," she said.

A few hours later, Jeannie did wake up. She was going to be discharged in a few hours. We were going to have to be careful with her for the next week and keep her away from people. Rose and Emmett had manned the store all week. They'd do it again this next week and Charlie would help when I had to go in.

I couldn't help but feel guilty about sleeping with Edward, all over again.

When Charlie finally got back to the hospital, Alice and I went to the grocery store to get some flowers.

"Did something happen at Edward's?" she asked.

"He's a gentleman," I said, although a blush was rising in my cheeks.

"But, did something happen?" she asked. Damnit if Alice had to keep prodding. My blush was giving me away, again.

"Nothing to be concerned about," I said.

At Mike's grave, I was expecting something cataclysmic to happen, like being struck by lightning or the grave opening up and swallowing me for my infidelity. I walked across the grass and set down the flowers on the three graves, but everything was calm, just the regular rain pelting just like always in Forks.

Alice dropped me off at my house. I changed out of Edward's jeans and his white t-shirt and took a shower in my own bathroom. As I stood under the shower, touches of Edward's hands flashed through my mind- in my hair, on my back. His lips on mine. I had fallen in love with him. I ached for the comfort of him at that moment. I don't know what hurt, but I wanted him there with me.

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

It was a sunny day out when I took Jeannie outside for some fresh air. She needed it. The scratchy cough was clearing up, finally, and her personality and energy was coming back. We sat on a quilt in the backyard while she played with a butterfly that had found us. She smiled often, but her laughter wasn't as frequent as it used to be, mostly because of the coughing. She was definitely feeling a little lethargic, still.

I brushed her hair with a comb.

"Hey Bells," Charlie said from the patio. "You've got a visitor."

"Yeah?" I asked, turning around. Edward was standing in the doorway.

"Hi, Bella," he said.

"Hi," I replied. "Making a house call?"

"Yeah," he said. "How is she doing?"

"She's coming around," I said. She sneezed at that moment. I fished a tissue out of my pocket and wiped her nose as Edward came outside and sat down with me.

"You're going to get her started on the booster shots, aren't you?" he asked.

"I guess so," I said. "She shouldn't get Whooping Cough again, should she?"

"No, not for a while, it's like Chicken Pox, you get it once and you're immune," he said. "But, there are a whole list of diseases she can still get."

"I'll think about it," I said. "It's a double-edged sword."

"I know," he said. "You're not the first parent in Forks to tell me they haven't vaccinated their baby."

"I don't feel so stupid, now," I said.

"I didn't mean to yell at you in the ER," he said.

"I figured you didn't," I said. A part of me wanted to dive into his chest and shout_ I love you and I don't care what anybody else thinks! _for comfort's sake, but I know I couldn't. I had to tell him something. "Edward, about the day that Jeannie came out of the ICU… at your house…"

"I know," he said.

"No, it's not that," I said. "I was so mixed up with my days that I had forgotten that that day was the day that Mike died." Edward paled. "I feel terrible."

"Nobody has to know what we did," Edward said.

"I know," I said. It was nobody's business, but… I couldn't help but feel guilty.

"Are you going to keep Jeannie at home for a few more days?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "I don't want to expose her to the store. So many strangers come in there carrying germs."

"Do you want to come over this afternoon?" he asked. "You can bring her with you."

"I'd love to," I said. "I'm getting cabin fever."

"OK. I'll make dinner," he said. "'bye."

"I'll see you then."

* * *

I put Jeannie down for a nap- she was taking several, now, more than had before getting sick. I took this as a chance to get a shower in. I hoped that the stint in the hospital didn't mentally and emotionally scar her and make her a needy, insecure child. I dried my hair carefully, using the flat iron and changed into a nice pair of jeans and sweater. The wind outside was picking up and the clouds were coming in.

I woke Jeannie up at three and then took her to the store just to check on things. She smiled for Emmett and giggled when he took her into his arms for a great big hug and tossed her in the air. "I miss you," Emmett said, kissing her on the head. "That's more like it."

"How is she?" Rose asked.

"She's doing better," I said. "The cough is going away." Emmett held her up in the air over his head with one hand like superbaby. She used to love this.

"I can't wait for you to come back," she said. "Stuff is piling up at the office."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It's OK," Rose said. "It's not so bad. Your hair looks nice."

"Oh," I said. "Thanks."

"You got plans tonight?" Rosalie asked.

"Kind of," I said. My friends seemed to know more about me than I wanted them to.

"Oh, OK," she said. "Enjoy your time off, then. I'll have a whole list of stuff for you when you get back."

* * *

As I got to Edward's, Jeannie had fallen asleep from the vibrations of the road. I got her out and she woke up. Groggy, I carried her up to the house and rang the doorbell. Nobody answered. I saw Edward's Volvo parked out front. I took a walk around the back. Edward was standing over the grill, making steaks with his iHome playing.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey, Bella," he said, turning around. He reached for me and kissed me, and then Jeannie. "How's she feeling?"

"She fell asleep on the way over," I said. "I took her by the store to see Emmett and Rose. It cheered her up."

"Do you want to put her down?" he asked. "We can put her in one of the guest bedrooms."

"Oh, no," I said. "It's too early. She'll be up at three in the morning if I let her sleep, now. She has to stay up at least until eight."

"You know her so well," he said.

"I do," I admitted. "That's what motherhood is."

We sat on the patio by the firepit and talked while he finished grilling out. We went inside to have dinner. We could see the water from where we were. Jeannie sat in my lap while I fed her potatoes from my plate and asparagus.

"So, are you going to take me out on the water, sometime?" I asked.

"Only if you take me hiking to your favorite spots," Edward said.

"It's a deal," I said.

Jeannie began to want to nurse after dinner, so we took her out to the patio by the firepit. I knew she'd fall asleep. I had brought her along as insurance that I could have a night alone with Edward without attacking him. And now, here I was, with my child about to fall asleep, and Edward was holding both of us. I knew this would happen. I was stupid to think it wouldn't. It was obvious what was going to happen the moment Jeannie was put down in a guest bedroom. Yes, the devil on my shoulder wanted it, but the angel on my shoulder reminded me that I was cheating whore and that Mike was my husband. I was so tired of wrestling with my conscience. As Jeannie started to nod off from the breastfeeding, I clutched her to my chest.

"How old is she, now?" Edward asked.

"Almost ten months," I said.

"She'll be walking, soon," he said.

"She was trying to stand before Thanksgiving," I said. "I'm going to be so sad when she starts walking. Because I won't be able to hold her all the time."

"Maybe you should have another one," he said.

"Edward, no," I said.

"I know," he said. "You've got plenty of time to have another baby." He kissed my temple. "Do you want to put her down?"

"What will we be doing?" I asked.

He chuckled, awkwardly. "Well, I have a hot tub," he said.

"Where?" I asked.

"It's behind those bushes over there," he said. "You liked the bathtub, so I figured I'd finally get the cover off and fill it, again."

"I don't have my suit," I said.

"You don't need one," he said.

"Won't people see us from the beach?" I asked.

"I'll keep the lights down. That, and, nobody ever comes down the beach right now," he said. "If you want, you can take your clothes off in my room and use my bathrobe. We don't have to do this if you're not comfortable with it."

"It's OK, I want to," I said.

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I put Jeannie down in one of the bedrooms. I hoped I'd be able to hear her from where I was. I went up to Edward's bedroom and located his bathrobe. Stripping out of my clothes, leaving them in a pile, I examined myself in the full-length mirror. I had stretch marks from my pregnancy, but they had faded. My breasts weren't as perky as they used to be, but they were bigger, now. I didn't look quite like I did when I was a teenager, but that was to be expected. I slipped into the huge, long white bathrobe. I had to carry the ends to keep from tripping on it.

Downstairs, Edward was turning on the in-ground hot tub. The lights were on, still. He turned around and saw me. "You found it?" he asked, seeing the white terry cloth on my shoulders.

"Yeah, no problem," I said. "Can you turn off the lights?"

"Sure," he said, kneeling down to the control panel. When the lights were down, I shed the robe. He could see me in the moonlight, definitely, but now, there wasn't a spotlight for anybody walking on the beach to see me.

It was a big enough hot tub that you could just walk down the steps into it. It felt fantastic- it came up to my hips. I didn't sit down, though. It was an interesting sensation- the cold night air against my upper half, my lower half getting the warmth of the water. "Get in- this feels so good."

"I'm coming," he said. He began to strip out of his clothes. He looked gorgeous. I had never thought that the naked male form was that that attractive, but Edward was beautiful. He turned on the jets and climbed in. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed him. The water left him exposed. "You want to do this?"

"Yeah," I said, shrugging. "Having sex outdoors was kind of a pastime for Mike and me. We'd do it in the woods when we went camping." I nibbled his earlobe. "I want you tonight, though." His hands grazed my butt.

"Good, I want you, too," he said. I lifted a leg and wrapped it around his hip. He grabbed my ass, lifting me up. I didn't wrap my other leg around him. Instead, I let go of his hips with my leg. He was getting excited just being close to me. I felt his hands cup my breasts. I groaned as his thumbs brushed against my sensitive nipples. He dipped his head down and took one of them into his mouth, but not before sputtering. I jumped, and then laughed. "You're not lactating, are you?"

"No," I said. There must have been dried breastmilk on my nipples, still. We had both forgotten for just a moment that my breasts weren't just for fun, they had an actual purpose. He was laughing too. "It tastes pretty terrible, doesn't it?"

"Like soured milk and honey," he said. "It was kind of bitter. How does Jeannie drink that?"

"I don't know," I said. "Acquired taste, I guess. They get pretty chapped, anyway."

"OK, I won't suck on them, then."

"Too bad."

"You have better areas of your body to suck on."

"Hey, it takes a while before I allow that," I said. "Would you let me do it?"

"Not on the first date," he said, smirking. "So, I think we're safe."

"OK, then," I said, sinking down into the rolling currents. The water felt wonderful. His laugh turned into moan as I took him into my mouth. I ran his length down my throat and back out, swirling my tongue around the knot, cupping his balls.

"You're good," he muttered, his hand resting on my head. "Oh, you're good." I thought I heard a noise- like a baby crying. I stopped, listening for Jeannie. All I could hear was the ocean surf. "You thought it was Jeannie?"

"Yeah," I said. I listened for a second. There. In the background- Jeannie was crying for me.

"That's her," he said. I got out of the water, grabbing the robe and ran into the house.

Inside the cottage, I found Jeannie in the guest bedroom on the bed, looking around for me.

"Jeannie, it's me," I said. "Hi!" I picked her up and she stopped crying. She rested her head on the shoulder of the bathrobe. "You just killed my game," I said. "You owe me."

"Let's not hold it against her," Edward said from the doorway.

We tried to get her back to sleep, but she didn't want to go back to sleep. "I guess she wants to go back to Charlie's," I said. "She doesn't sleep without walls around her."

"You're leaving me with blue balls," Edward groaned.

"This is life with a child."

"Bring a playpen next time."

"I will."

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

Alice dutifully called Angela and I about planning Rosalie's baby shower, although she was hardly halfway through her first trimester.

"When are we going to have this?" Alice asked, opening her day planner as we met at her coffee shop.

"Can we plan this for late April?" I asked.

"I'm in agreement," Angela said. "We'll be leaving for vacation in May, so let's get this over with."

"So, let's come up with themes," Alice said. Alice had to have a theme at every party she threw. She went overboard. "Something that suits Rosalie. Let's not worry about what Emmett thinks."

Rosalie had had a yellow theme at her wedding. It had been a cheerful wedding- yellow was a great color, anyways. I suggested it, and Alice snorted. "How about… Breakfast at Tiffany's?" Angela asked. "We can have a brunch. And old retro 1960s New York decorations and we can dress up like Audrey Hepburn."

"Oh, that's perfect!" Alice cried. "I love it! That's what we're doing."

The conversation eventually drifted to if we were going to allow the husbands to come. Alice thought that it was a bad idea, but Angela thought it was just fine- they usually helped us with the decorations. "Are you going to bring Edward?" she asked.

I felt a little guilty. Edward and I hadn't gone public, yet. "Why would I bring Edward?" I asked.

"Well, I thought since you're spending so much time with him…"

"He's a doctor, he helped take care of my baby," I said.

"You know, it's OK if you want to start seeing someone again," Alice said. "It's been a year. I think that's appropriate mourning time to get over Mike."

"Well… maybe we should ask him for some help, if he's off for that day," I said, playing it off.

* * *

While I was unloading some stock, wiping my nose, and Jeannie was cruising the store in her glider, Jasper came running in.

"Bella! Emmett!" he shouted. Jasper's usually a pretty soft-spoken guy. I knew something big was going on.

"Jasper? What is it?" I cried.

"It worked!" he cried. "The in vitro treatments worked! We're going to be parents!"

"Congratulations, man!" Emmett cried, hugging him.

"That's great!" I said. Jeannie came around in her glider and grinned at him. Jasper picked her up and kissed her.

"We'll tell Rose," Emmett said.

"I'm gonna be a dad!" Jasper yelled. I hugged Jasper before he left the store, and took Jeannie back. He almost ran out the door with Jeannie he was so excited.

"You're going to be a cousin, Figgy!" I cried. "Aunt Allie's having a baby, too!"

"Alice is pregnant at the same time as Rose, this couldn't have worked out better," Emmett said.

"Yeah," I said, sighing. I wondered how Alice knew. She had been tracking her cycle, keeping an ovulation calendar, doing all sorts of ritualistic things like standing on her head after sex. Jasper had to hold her feet up while she balanced on the wall when she did that. She told me all about it. It made me laugh, it was ridiculous the things she did to have a baby.

And I had gotten pregnant without a lot of help, either, when I had had Figgy, but when Mike and I had decided to try, we only had to try for two months before I missed a period. Speaking of which… I was supposed to get it this earlier week. It came and went when it wanted to since Jeannie was born, but I didn't think about it too much. I panicked for only a moment. I had been nursing a cold since Jeannie got out of the hospital, pretty much. I wasn't the most fertile uterus in town, it had taken Mike and me a few tries to get pregnant. Edward had been using condoms the last few times. Our first time, we hadn't used anything at all, but it had been so poorly planned, so spur-of-the-moment.

I ran to the office to shut myself in.

I couldn't be pregnant. No, not me, not right now. I wasn't remarried, yet. Mike had been dead over a year. I felt sick for a moment.

Small hands pounded a rhythm at the bottom of the office door.

"Bean?" I asked, standing up. I wasn't particularly religious. I had enough money in the bank that I could get an abortion if I had to and nobody would know. But, I had to know if I was pregnant, first.

After work, I took Jeannie to the drug store with me and picked up several things, tossing in a pregnancy test to keep the cashier from noticing. I sneaked it into the house and took it.

While I waited on the results, I thought about what this meant for Edward and me. We weren't even telling people we were seeing each other, yet. For me to get pregnant with Carlisle's nephew, the one in the prestigious medical internship, Carlisle, who was like a second dad to me, that would be a slap in the face to him and his family. Jasper and Alice would be hurt- this was their time to bask in the glow of a pregnancy that they'd never thought she'd ever have. I'd give birth about the same time as Alice and Rosalie. Charlie, Renée and Phil would be so ashamed of me. Where would we put this baby? I'd have to move out, but I was hardly making any kind of profit from the store. There was no room in this house. Well, I wasn't the first person in Forks to give birth to a baby outside of marriage, but everyone expected better of me. Especially better of Edward. I could only imagine the humiliation Edward would suffer if everyone suddenly found out that he had impregnated me and no one knew that we were an item before this. That he had been seduced by the slutty widow Newton, the Police Chief's daughter. My only option was an abortion. I hated to do this. It was best that I did this, now, and not let any body know about it. I wondered if I should even tell Edward. I felt backed into a corner.

I didn't know the first thing about abortion. I had heard in college that it was painful and would leave you barren and put you at risk for breast cancer. The internet was not a reliable source for information on abortion.

I checked the pregnancy test. I was, indeed, pregnant.

I was a complete zombie that night. I debated on whether or not to tell Edward the news. I needed somebody to tell. Somebody trustworthy, who wouldn't spread the news but would support my decision. I thought and thought and thought… and finally, I came up with my choice.

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I met Angela in Port Angeles.

"Why are we here, again?" she asked as we sat in Panera Breads, sipping green teas. I had planned a mommy's weekend out in a cabin without the kids around, making it sound like we both needed it.

"Ang, I have a huge favor to ask of you," I said.

"Bella, you look worried."

"I know," I said. "Once we're done with breakfast, I want to take you somewhere. I need your support."

"Are you getting a haircut or something?"

"Yeah, it's something pretty drastic," I said. As we ate breakfast, Angela tried to bring up safe subjects, but I was so distracted, I couldn't concentrate.

"Can't you tell me what it is?" she asked. She sounded serious.

"Not exactly," I said. "Come on, let's go."

I took the wheel and drove around for a few minutes. I had an eight o'clock appointment. I finally pulled up at the Women's Clinic at seven-thirty. Luckily, no one was protesting.

"Bella, what are we doing here?" Angela cried. She looked scared.

"Angela, I said I need your help," I said. "I've been referred here by Dr. Carter, my OB GYN."

"Bella, no!" Angela gasped. "What? Why? Are you and Edward-"

"It's not Edward's," I said. "He can never know about this."

"I know you too well," Angela said.

"Ang, I'm dirt-poor right now," I said. "It's hard enough making ends meet for Jeannie. If it were to come out that I've gotten pregnant, people would try to ruin Edward's good name by accusing him. That would scandalize the Cullens. It would hurt Alice immensely. So much. And Jasper and Emmett are such good friends with him, now, it would hurt them, too. I can't show up pregnant, now."

Angela's eyes had filled with tears by now. "Bella, you can't. It's a life. A human life inside you- why are you asking me? Because I'm the only one that's not pregnant?"

"No, I'm asking you because I know you can keep a secret."

"Bella, this is a baby!" Angela cried. "You can't expect me to carry this secret, honestly?"

"Angela, it's not a baby, yet-"

"It is, too. Bella, you know it's wrong. Edward is more than willing to help you take care of this one. Charlie told you to get remarried so you could have more babies, didn't he?"

"He'd be so ashamed of me."

"Only for a while," she said. "Lots of women have babies outside of marriage these days. It's not a scandal any more."

"I don't have the money to support two babies."

"Ask Edward for child support."

"It's not Edward's!" I cried.

"Bella, you must think I'm stupid or something, of course it's Edwards!" Angela cried, which was completely out of character for her. "I know you've been sleeping with him! I see the way you two look at each other- everybody knows it!"

"Ang, just come in with me."

"OK," she said in a tiny voice.

It was the longest walk of my life. Angela was shaking more than me when we got inside. When they called me, I turned to Angela. "You'll come in with me, won't you?" I asked.

"If you want me to," she said. She took my hand. The nurse offered us a sympathetic smile.

They weighed me, took my blood pressure, temperature, all the basics.

"Bella, you can always change your mind," the nurse said. "At any time."

Angela didn't say anything, just looked grim. I wished she'd say something. I knew she was trying to support me, but why had I chosen her? Rose, as unemotional as she was, was a close second, but she'd most likely let it slip to Emmett, who'd go after Edward with a shot gun. Angela knew how to keep a secret- she kept secrets for me from Jacob, I knew that much. Jacob, like Emmett, was like a brother to me. Alice was like a sister, too. She would have been first on my list had this not been Edward's baby. I didn't want Alice knowing- EVER.

Would they really be that disappointed in me? When Angela got pregnant, they had all been upset at first, but had been so support of her choice to keep the baby. I couldn't imagine anything more humiliating than being a preacher's kid and wearing a purity ring for all those years and then popping up pregnant outside of marriage. Angela handled it so gracefully. She told me that abortion never crossed her mind. I wasn't from such a religious home. Neither Charlie nor Renée were shocked when they found out that Mike and I wanted to live together in college, I just got the standard talk about use at least two types of birth control from Renée. I couldn't believe that I had been so haphazard as to not use any- twice- with Edward.

"I just can't handle this," I said, jumping off the exam table.

Angela burst into happy tears. "Great!" she cried. She hugged me. "I love you, Bella, so much!" She cried happy tears for a moment, and then, I started crying, too. "I'm so proud of you! This is the right choice, trust me. We can tell Edward that you're not going through with this once we get out of here and get some cell signal."

"He doesn't know," I said, wiping my face.

"How can you do this to his child?" Angela cried. "Without telling him?"

"You can't tell anybody."

"Are you changing your mind?" she asked in a tiny voice. "Completely?"

"For now."

"Good. You'll tell him, won't you?"

"Yes, but you can't tell anybody," I said. "Promise you won't."

"OK."

* * *

It was while I was having a secret dinner with Edward while Jeannie was watching Baby Einstein in his house that I told him. He went very, very pale. "We'll keep it. We'll draw up legal custody papers and child support. I don't want to be that jerk father that runs off and has a separate life apart from my kid," he said. "I'll still be here for you and Jeannie, too."

"About that, Edward," I said. "We're not going to have to worry about that. I'm going to take care of it."

"What?" he cried, when it dawned on him was 'take care of it' meant. "No! You can't do that!"

"Why not? It's my body. My choice."

"And it's my baby in your body," he said. "I will take legal action against you to keep you from getting an abortion!"

Edward and I went outside and fought for a few hours before he wore me down. He wanted to protect his unborn child. There was no getting around it. I'd ruin both our lives if I went through with the abortion. He'd bring it up publicly that we had had a relationship and I had gotten pregnant. I'd ruin my own life if I went ahead and had this baby.

"I'll have the baby," I said. "As long as you don't tell anybody it's yours." Edward's good name would be OK if he'd just stay quiet.

"I can't claim my own child?" he asked.

"Not publicly," I said.

"People are going to figure it out, Bella," he said. "That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard!" We hadn't gone out in public together, I never told my friends of my plans with Edward, and I never stopped by the hospital to visit him. As far as I knew, nobody knew that we were together, not even Charlie.

"I'll have an abortion if you tell anybody," I said. "And after my first trimester, I have to keep it. You get what you want. What's more important? Your baby's life or being right?"

He sighed. "OK. OK, Bella. Have the baby," he said, dejectedly. "You're building a brick wall between us."

**

* * *

A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I didn't want to, but I had to keep my pregnancy a secret for as long as I could. I couldn't gain too much weight, which wasn't so hard with the morning sickness. Charlie began to suspect something. I kept busy at the store as much as possible.

Jeannie was getting better. She was singing and laughing and playing more and more. She was trying to stand on her own, too. I dreaded the day she started walking on her own- I'd have to put up baby gates everywhere.

I was so busy I never saw Edward anymore. A part of me couldn't see him because of the guilt I was carrying for what I had done. Soon, everybody would see what an unfaithful hypocrite I was to my late husband.

It was in March that Jeannie took her first steps in the store. She was holding onto the basketballs bin when she walked in a wobby line towards the cash register while I was ringing somebody up. I cried out in shock, abandoning the transaction, and ran to her. She giggled and grinned at me. I picked her up and kissed her and cried. My baby was now a toddler. Well, I had another one on the way.

Rosalie, Angela, Esme and I planned the baby shower for Alice for late June- she'd need something big, with her baby as the Hollywood star. My heart broke- my baby might be shunned if people found out the truth.

Charlie noticed I was gaining weight. I planned on hiding this until I could get by. I was starting to show. I wore giant t-shirts to work and jeans all the time.

I was putting the fishing reels up when I heard the front door chime. I turned around, "It's a great day at Newton's Outfitter's…" I saw Edward standing there. Jeannie ran to him for a hug.

"Edward?" I cried.

He stared at me, taking me in- my body was changing. He could see it. He picked up Jeannie and hugged had kissed her. "I missed you, Figgy," he said. He looked at me. "I missed your Mommy, too." He looked at me. I could have sworn he was blinking back tears. "Bella, you're beginning to show."

"I know," I whispered, holding a finger to my mouth.

"You still haven't…"

"Can we go to a more private place?" I asked, thinking of Emmett, being somewhere in this store.

"My car?" he asked.

I followed him out to his Volvo. "So, it's still a secret?" he asked.

"Yes. My friends just think I'm getting fat," I said as he turned the heater in the engine on.

"Why are you doing this to me?" he asked. "I didn't want to push you. I know it's difficult for you to have other people judge our relationship. I know. It's OK. I was willing for you to be ready. But why are you cutting me out of our babies' life? It's pretty obvious, now."

"Our child can't ruin your life," I said. "You've got a reputation to uphold."

"You misunderstood me," he said. "Our babies. Jeannie and this one."

I hated doing this to Edward. "Jeannie isn't yours," I said. "She's Mike's."

I watched as tears flowed down his cheeks. "Bella, you're breaking my heart," he said.

"Edward, I have to go," I said, getting out of the car, taking Figgy with me.

A part of me died inside. I didn't want to run from Edward, but he couldn't afford the scandal of what was going to happen to me. I loved him too much to do that to him.

* * *

I worried about Rosalie's baby shower. My dress was cut empire-waist. It masked my growing baby gut and looked pretty. At the last minute, Rosalie and Alice decided that men should be allowed to come to this baby shower. I didn't know what they were going to do. Most men sat together and drank beer at baby showers. Emmett was so involved, he wanted to see everything his baby got. Then, Rose discovered she was having a boy.

Rosalie was gaining weight like crazy- she had gained 20 pounds since New Year's. She loved being pregnant- it was an excuse to eat however she wanted. I felt better about the weight I had gained.

My milk had dried up, too. I wasn't nursing Jeannie at all any more. Jeannie did not like it one bit. She was on formula and baby foods and first foods, now.

The day of Rose's baby shower, I came up to the McCarty's house, where Angela was getting Jacob to hang some Japanese lanterns outside. "So, Bella, how's it going?" Angela asked. Jacob looked at me with a pained expression.

"Bella, when are you and Edward going to announce it?" Jacob asked. Jacob was closer to his friends on the Reservation, he only hung out with my friends in Forks because of Angela and I when we asked him to.

"It's not Edward's," I said, quickly, trying to fight the urge to rub my stomach.

"I know it's Edward's," Jacob snapped. "I saw the two of you together."

"He's a friend," I said. "He took very good care of Jeannie in the hospital."

"We saw you, Bella," Angela said. There was an edge of grief in her voice.

"We saw you servicing him," Jake said. "In a hot tub. We couldn't believe it was you," he said, disgustedly. My whole body flamed. "It was disgusting. I didn't expect you to be having sex in public like that. You'd think a doctor would know how to use birth control."

"Leave them alone," Angela said. "Jake, let's not get into this. I'll explain a lot more of this later."

Jake hopped down from the front stoop and stomped off to his rebuilt SUV.

"He got pretty upset that night," Angela explained. "We were out walking on the beach. I told him to keep it quiet after that. He really doesn't like Edward, you've known that for a while."

"Make sure he doesn't tell everyone," I said. "About who the father is."

"I won't let him," she said. "Bella, I'm so proud of you- for keeping it. But it's time to let go of your grief and let Edward in."

"Thanks," I said. "But, I just can't let go of Mike."

"I love you," she said. She hugged me. "I don't care. You made the right choice."

"Am I really showing that much?"

"I'm afraid so," she said. "You're not going to be able to keep it a secret for much longer."

* * *

As Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme came in with the brunch foods, assisted with the set up.

Emmett was so hyper he wasn't much help. Rose was better about putting out the decorations. She didn't want to be around the food because she was so bad about eating everything.

Alice's Breakfast at Tiffany's Baby Shower for Rosalie was a raging success. Rose got lots of nice presents. I purposely got a green baby blanket for her. Most of her expensive baby items had been purchased and assembled by her parents and by Emmett already. I tried to get them to pay as little attention to me as possible. I worried that I was showing.

As everyone left, I began the clean up. While I was washing dishes, I saw Edward enter- late, with a present for Rosalie.

"Hi, Rose."

"Hi, Edward!" she cried, hugging him.

"Sorry I didn't make it. I thought I'd bring you something," he said, handing her the present.

"Alice, can you add this to my list?" Rosalie asked. She tore the wrapping paper and opened the box. "Oh, thank you, Edward, this is so cute!" Edward had gotten the babies leather bomber jackets. "It'll be perfect for fall!"

"Is Bella here?" Edward asked.

I ducked behind the kitchen door. "Yeah, I think she's in the kitchen," Rosalie said.

Damnit. If he could make it any more obvious.

"Bella?" Edward asked, entering the kitchen.

"Hi," I said. He came behind the kitchen counter.

"Bella, you aren't having money problems, are you?" he asked, softly. "Because if you need anything- anything at all, I'm here."

"Edward, really, I'm just fine," I lied, although I knew that money was going to get really terrible, soon. He rested a hand on my growing stomach. It made me tremble to feel his hand on me.

"You're starting to show," he whispered.

"Bella? Edward?"

I turned to see Alice in the doorway. She looked angry. "I suspected- but- I tried to be wrong! No, Edward, not- no!" she sputtered, clutching her pregnant belly. "No! Bella, how could you do this to us? To our family? We love you so much! How could you?"

"It's not what you think!"

"Edward didn't knock you up? You haven't been hiding a pregnancy? How! Why didn't you- forget it! I can't look at you!" she cried. She grabbed her purse and coat. "Jasper! I'm leaving! Now!"

It was no use lying to her about it. That simple gesture from Edward and our cover was blown. Neither of us had to say anything. I burst into tears. Edward took me into his chest, where I sobbed.

"Bella, it's not going to be that bad," he said.

"Alice is my best friend," I said. "She's never going to want to talk to me ever again!"

"I'll be on the shitlist with Carlisle and Esme," Edward admitted. "We both will be."

"Damnit," I muttered.

"I know," he said. "At least it's out in the open, now."

"No, I will never openly tell anybody that this is yours," I hissed.

"It's pretty obvious, Bella."

"No," I said. I rung myself away from him. "I can't. I can't ruin you like that."

"Alice already knows," he said. "That's who you were most worried about knowing. It's too late, now. Let's not worry about."

"I have to worry about it."

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I escaped and went straight home to Charlie's. I sobbed in the car on the way there. I was so emotional.

Charlie was sitting at home, watching ESPN with Jeannie, who was toddling around, moving toys around the living room, but getting grumpy. "Hey, Bells, how did the shower go?"

"Great," I said. "Does she need a nap?"

"Yes," he said. "She's getting pretty cranky."

"I'll put her down, I need one, too," I said, picking her up.

Jeannie screamed and fought me on the way up the stairs. In my room, I changed her out of her outfit and into a fresh diaper. Then, I changed out of my dress and into some lose-fitting pajamas. I sighed and curled up on my bed. Jeannie pitched a fit while she watched me from the crib. I picked her up and hugged her.

What was I going to do without Alice? Alice was my best friend. One of them, anyways. I needed her support. I never thought I'd get pregnant again, so quickly. Alice had to be resentful of me because I was pregnant without meaning to be.

In bed with Jeannie, we began to fall asleep.

* * *

I was walking. Again, on the beach, near Edward's house.

Edward wasn't there. Neither was Jeannie.

I saw Mike's figure in the distance. I was afraid to approach him, out of shame. But, he came towards me.

"Bella?" he asked. I looked into his face- there was a kindness to it. A kindness I didn't think I'd ever see again. One I had almost forgotten.

"Mike?" I asked. I felt the tears running down my cheeks. He hugged me. "Mike, I'm so sorry! About everything!"

"Why?" he asked. He kissed me. "Why should you be apologizing? I left you without any warning. I should be apologizing to you."

"But, Mike- I- I've fallen in love with somebody else!" I cried. "And I'm pregnant, and it's going to destroy so many relationships-"

"Because you're making yourself miserable, still mourning me," he said. "Bella, do you really think I wanted you to be sad over my death for this long? I don't want you to take a vow of celibacy and wear black forever. I want you to live again. What you've been doing, working all the time, that's not living. Going out, enjoying people, enjoying life and being open to relationships, that's celebrating life."

"Oh, Mike!" I cried. He kissed my tears away.

"I'm not a part of your life anymore," he said. "Not in the physical sense. But Jeannie is. And she needs a male presence, somebody other than Charlie. If you've fallen in love, it's OK. I can't be there for you. I was a little angry at first, but it's really OK to start over. I can't be there for you anymore. Let me go."

"That day with the thunder-"

"That was a garbage truck," he laughed. "Really, Bella, you were looking too hard for a sign. Go back and let me go. The only thing keeping you from life is your memory of me." There was a tugging at my arm. "It's time to let yourself be happy without me." The tugging increased. "I have to go, now. Good-bye. I love you. Never forget that."

"I love you, too," I whispered.

The tugging woke me up- Charlie was holding Jeannie. He didn't look too happy. "Hey, Bells, you want to explain something to me?" he asked. He pointed at my baby bump. I pressed hand to it, guiltily. "I just got off the phone with Carlisle Cullen. He asked me if I knew that you were pregnant."

"It's not what you think," I said, sitting up. "OK, maybe it is. I'm having another baby."

"Bella," he said, angrily. He put Jeannie in the crib. "Bella, no! Please, God, no! Not like this! Who's is it?"

"I'm not saying," I said. "Not yet."

"You'll look like the town whore!" he snapped. Jeannie began to whimper. "I didn't even know you were seeing anybody! I'm disappointed in you! I can't believe this! No wonder you stopped nursing! Do you not know who the father is?"

"I do!" I cried. "But it's better that I don't mention him right now."

"He's a really good guy, isn't he, then?" Charlie snapped. Jeannie began to cry. "I can't take this! Get out of my house!"

"I'm taking Jeannie with me," I said, picking her up out of the crib.

"Oh, no you're not!" he cried.

"I'm her mother," I said. "Try and stop me!"

"Just wait until your mother hears about this!"

"I'm not a teenager any more!" I cried. "I took care of you after the accident, I run a store, I can damn well take care of my daughter and my baby and myself!"

"I'm not going to have you in this house with an illegitimate pregnancy unless you tell me who did this to you!" he cried. Charlie was being stubborn. He meant it. I wasn't about to give Edward up like this.

"Then, I'll go,."

"You leave tomorrow," he yelled.

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

I had no idea where to go. Jake was mad at me. I didn't know if Emmett and Rose knew. Alice wasn't talking to me and there was a high likelihood that I was on Carlisle and Esme's shitlist, too. That left only one choice.

I spent the night packing Jeannie and my things- what I could stick in my car. Around ten, I got in the car and took Jeannie and myself to La Push. I knocked on the door to Edward's cottage. To my surprise, Carlisle answered the door, beer in hand. He didn't smile when he saw me.

"Hello, Bella," Carlisle said. "Come on in."

"Is Edward here?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm here," Edward said, rushing through the doorway. "Hi."

"Hi," I said. He came over to Jeannie and me and hugged us. "Charlie wanted me to give up the name of the father. Since I wouldn't, he kicked me out."

"So, Bella, it's pretty obvious," Carlisle said as I set Jeannie down. "We all know it's Edward. You can quit covering for him."

"Edward, I'm sorry," I said, running my hand over his face.

"I wanted people to know," he said, kissing my hand. "We're in this together, now. I'll weather the storm with you, Bella."

"Bella, do you know how serious this is for our family back in Chicago?" Carlisle asked.

"I haven't told her anything," Edward said.

"What haven't you told me?" I asked.

"Edward, how could you impregnate somebody so close to our family and not tell her?" Carlisle asked. "There's always serious consequences for this kind of thing!"

"What's the matter?" I asked, scared. What had the Cullens been keeping from me?

"I'm ready to make an honest woman out of her," Edward said.

"Do you even know how long it takes to draw up a prenup, Edward?" Carlisle asked. "Especially out here?"

"What are you talking about?" I cried. "He hasn't even proposed, yet! I haven't even agreed to marry him, and you're already talking about prenups?"

"Carlisle, I need to speak with Bella alone," Edward said, taking my hand. He took me outside to the deck. All I could hear was the ocean surf. "Would you marry me right now if I asked you to?" Edward asked. His bottle-green eyes seared into mine.

"Why are you asking me?" I asked. "Because you love me?"

"Yes," he said. "I love you. And Jeannie. And I know we're both going to love this baby. I don't care if you don't love me."

"I do love you," I said. "I've been struggling with this, but… not any more. I want to move forward now."

"So, let's do this the right way," he said. He got down on one knee. "Isabella Marie Swan Newton, will you marry me?" Edward asked. I almost toppled over.

"Yes," I said.

"Good," he said. He stood up and hugged me. "We'll get the ring later. Right now, Carlisle probably wants to finish his lecture."

Inside, Carlisle was waiting.

"We're engaged," Edward said. "Officially."

"Well, Bella, that agreement being made, you might as well know our family secret," Carlisle said.

"What have I gotten myself into?" I muttered.

"Dr. Tony Cullen, Edward's father, is worth a lot," Carlisle explained. "Look around, Bella. This little 'cottage' cost a cool million. Before taxes. The interiors- all Belgian furniture, professionally decorated. Do you think that an ER intern doctor makes enough to pay for all this?" I was stumped. "Dr. Tony Cullen invented and patented a cardiac device that is used in every hospital in America. He's rich. Edward's worth a lot, regardless of if he continues to practice medicine. Edward making 'an honest woman' out of you isn't going to be as simple as the two of you going down to the county courthouse and signing a piece of paper. Edward has to protect the money he's set to inherit. That's a cool hundred million in sellable assets, not to mention the charitable companies he's set to inherit a chair on the board of and the money he's set to inherit from the adenonetrolizer monitor over the next fifty years. And that baby you're carrying? Easily worth fifty million in sizable assets. Bella, you hit the genetic jackpot." I didn't hear Carlisle's last sentence.

I blacked out.

**

* * *

A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

"She obviously didn't know," Edward said, fanning me. "I was told for years to watch out for the girls who wanted to get pregnant by me to get a quick ticket to an easy life."

"This is a joke, right?" I asked. A very, very rich young doctor wanted to marry me. And I was having his baby and I had said yes to marrying him before he told me he could own half of Rhode Island. And we were already in love and I had no idea how fucking rich he was the whole time. My brain hurt, although Edward had caught me before I hit the floor. "Carlisle, you're pulling my leg, aren't you? Why didn't I ever hear about this from you or Esme or Alice?"

"Because it embarrasses Alice to no end," Carlisle said. "She would hate living in a small town with everybody knowing how rich our relatives are. We hide it, because money isn't as important as relationships. It shouldn't be, anyways."

"We don't live like rich people," Edward said. "I grew up mowing my parent's yard in the summers, working after school so I'd learn a work ethic," he said. "I had to earn half the money to buy my first car. Dad didn't want me being one of those rich playboy bastard kids."

"It paid off," Carlisle said. "Especially when you became a doctor. But, the one time he screws up…"

"I know, I know," Edward said. "Bella, do you still want to marry me?"

"If it were just you and me, I'd say yes in a heart beat," I said.

"It is just you and me," Edward said. "I'm not into the social aspect, just the humanitarian. What do you say?"

I blinked. "Yes," I said. "I still want some protection for our child."

"Edward, you need to call your lawyer in Seattle. Bella, you need to retain one," Carlisle said. "If you don't have the money to, I'll give you the retainer fee, Bella. You can't just figure this out on your own, and it will be a conflict of interests for you to have the same one."

"I know," I said. I wondered how Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory had missed that Edward Cullen was so fucking rich. "You're fucking loaded," I said, in awe.

"Don't remind me," he said.

"You're fucking loaded!" I repeated.

"Bella, please, do you want that phrase coming out of your baby's mouth?" Edward asked.

* * *

After Carlisle left, Edward and I put Jeannie in the guest bedroom downstairs. I was still woozy from the news. How Edward was worth that much and I didn't know was beyond me. How had I missed it? How had my friends missed it? Why hadn't Alice confided in me?

Edward took my hand and helped me up the stairs to the bedroom. I changed out of my clothes and into my maternity pajamas from when I had had Jeannie.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Edward, how could you have not told me?" I cried. "How could I have not figured it out? How did Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley completely miss it?"

"Well, Jessica's not quite what I'm looking for," he said. "Intellect is something that's missed her. Lauren on the other hand… that girl that helps her run her salon is her partner… in more ways than one."

I stared in shock. "What?" I squeaked.

"Lauren plays for both teams, if you know what I mean," Edward said. "She's a nice girl, but she's not in to_ me_."

"You're making that up," I said.

"One night when her partner, Gabrielle, cut her finger in the salon, she rushed her in," he said. "I stitched her up, and when I came back to check on Gabby, Lauren was kissing her in relief. I could tell they were being really affectionate. Lauren asked me not to tell. She told me she was bisexual, but she couldn't afford for her growing client base to find out, being as Forks is such a small town. That was the weekend I let her highlight my hair before Christmas as a thank you gift."

"You're kidding!" I cried.

"No," he said. "The money- it doesn't change the way you feel about me, does it, Bella?"

"No, Edward," I said. "I do love you. But, please, let me still work the store. I need to keep that for Jeannie. And for my own personal sanity."

"I understand," he said. "But Bella, now that you're becoming my wife, will you cut back on your hours? Hire some outside help?"

"We're trying to make it through the fiscal year with just Emmett, Rose and me," I said. "It ends August 1st for us."

"When are you due?" Edward asked.

"Late September," I said.

"I don't know," he said, "about you working through August. I don't know if your body can take it."

"I think it can," I said. "I took care of Charlie until the day I gave birth to Jeannie."

"Well, you're my fiancée, now. By then, you should be my wife," he said. "Can we just go to bed? I have work in the morning."

"Yes, we can go to bed," I said.

He tugged my top up and kissed my expanding girth. "You don't know how long I've waited to do that," he sighed. "God, you are so beautiful."

"Hey, hold up, Mister, I'm saving myself for marriage this time," I said.

"Oh, please," Edward said. "You can't get _more_ pregnant."

* * *

It almost killed me that Alice wasn't speaking to me. Rose and Angela were, but Jacob was still livid over the entire Edward getting me pregnant thing. I didn't dare tell anybody about Edward's family fortune. I went to Seattle to retain a lawyer for the prenup. I completely understood what a prenup was for and found it completely fair, now. Carlisle gave me the retainer fee. He didn't want me getting screwed over.

I cried when the first draft Edward's lawyer presented us with said that part of the prenup was that he was allowed to adopt Jeannie. I agreed to it.

The first time I talked to his parents over the phone, they were elated to meet me. I was surprised because I thought that they'd hate me immediately for obvious reasons. I remembered them vaguely from Alice and Jasper's wedding. Edward had been doing an internship overseas in Africa at the time of the wedding, so he hadn't been able to go at the time, so that's why I didn't remember him. Liz Cullen was a handsome woman of Ukrainian descent with the same copper-red hair and green eyes as Edward with a soft face and pretty smile. Edward's father, Tony Cullen, was the quintessential tall-dark-and-handsome man who, at the time, had a goatee and was where Edward got his lanky frame from. They were going to the Ukraine for a month for charity work (Tony was going to do heart surgery in a major pediatric hospital at cost, his services for free), but promised they'd come to Seattle to meet me and Jeannie. They were ecstatic that Edward was adopting Jeannie. "Finally!" I heard Liz yell over the phone to Edward. "A grandchild! Is she cute?"

"The cutest," Edward said.

I spent my days at the store doing all I could to keep myself busy until the prenup was finalized. Edward's lawyer would offer one draft, we'd go through it and he'd explain what it all meant and we'd discuss the terms and if we thought it was fair. We went through this a few times before we came to a final agreement. Edward would have to take care of me, but I wasn't going to get half of everything he owned. I wouldn't let Edward have any of the store in profits because I wanted Jeannie to have it. Jeannie would be entitled to the same as our own child or any other children we would have. That was a great source of comfort for me between the Lamaze classes we attended at the high school at night in the freshman English classroom.

Edward left a bright, shiny brand-new American Express card on the kitchen table one morning before I got up with my name on it. I begrudgingly left it there for almost a week before Edward finally brought it up. We had a quick argument about it until he told me that I needed to buy new furniture for Jeannie and the baby, since most of it was at Charlie's.

Charlie was holding up his end of the bluff. He wasn't allowing me back into his home as an unwed mother. That was fine, I was going to keep his granddaughter from him if he wouldn't talk to me. I knew he missed Jeannie like he would miss his right foot if it were cut off.

Mark Hetsler came by the store one afternoon.

"Bella?" he asked. "I hate to bother you like this, but, your father's sick leave is up. Since he's so close to retirement and he's been injured so badly… he's getting early retirement. Everybody down at the station thought we'd give him a retirement party. We'd like it if you and Jeannie could be there."

"Charlie doesn't want to talk to me," I said.

"I think he does," Mark said. "I could think of worse things than getting pregnant by a respected doctor."

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

With the final draft of the prenup signed and locked away in a lockbox in a bank in Seattle, Edward and I had the task of getting married, now. Getting to Vegas was going to be difficult, seeing as few airlines would let me on a plane in my pregnant state, despite the fact that I was traveling with a doctor. Edward finally got a private plane and private pilot. We weren't able to tell any one- not even our parents.

I had never been on a private plane before. We had our own flight attendant, who saw to our every need. It was spacious and enjoyable, unlike every other plane ride I had ever been on. Jeannie slept most of the way, although the flight attendant cooed nonstop about how cute she was. The baby went to sleep inside me due to the vibrations of the plane.

We spent the night in the Palms in a hotel Suite with a private pool and a balcony that overlooked the Vegas strip. I put Jeannie in a little life jacket and she went swimming with Edward, but still wouldn't put her head under the water. Edward was trying to teach her how to swim on his days off since we were so close to the water. Since it was just Edward, Jeannie and me, I put on my bikini, letting my six-month pregnant belly hang out, and joined them. "Hope you don't mind," I said, getting in the water.

"It's cute," Edward said. "I love you pregnant. I'll have to get you pregnant again just to see you like this."

"Let's just take this one baby at a time," I said.

"Bath!" Jeannie cried. She was speaking little words and phrases. She had started calling Edward 'Daddy' and me 'Momma.' I hated that Charlie had missed her talking so far.

We played with Jeannie in the water- it was fun. She enjoyed herself, but tired herself out. By the time that room service came up with our dinner, she was worn out. She barely got some green beans and cut up chicken in before her eye lids started to droop.

We had ordered a special baby crib in the bedroom for her and she cuddled up in there and slept soundly after a bath.

I found Edward on the couch with the TV on.

"So, have we put any thought towards naming the baby?" he asked. "I have a few names."

"OK, let's hear 'em," I said. I had insisted on not knowing what sex the baby was this time.

"Connor Forrest," he said. "Connor is a really good friend of mine from medical school, and Forrest after where I grew up- Lake Forrest."

"I don't like Forrest, people might think we support Nathan Bedford Forrest's KKK," I said.

"It's different, it's unique," Edward offered.

"What about Connor Edward?" I asked.

"Are you really that opposed to Forrest?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "What about for a girl?"

"Kathleen Elizabeth. After my Dad's mom and my mom. How does that sound?" he asked.

"Kathleen is your grandma's name?" I asked.

"Yeah. We can call her Kate," he said. "Or Katie."

"OK, Katie Cullen. It works," I said. "It's cute."

"I can't wait to get married," he sighed. "We're going to be so happy together. My mom and dad are so excited about meeting you, Bella. Both of you."

"I can't wait to meet them, either," I said.

We went to bed that night because we were expecting an early morning.

* * *

Jeannie, as always, woke us up. After feeding her, I dressed her in a nice little dress and combed her hair out and put a hair band on her. I had bought a nice little sleeveless maternity sundress in white that would do for a wedding. Edward, Jeannie and I went downstairs, where a limo was waiting for us.

"This is it, we're getting married," Edward said, taking my hand. Jeannie wanted to punch all the buttons and annoy the driver. The limo pulled up to the wedding chapel. I sighed- we were kind of repeating what Renée and Charlie did, but not really. Edward and Jeannie helped me out.

"Are you sad we're not having a big, white wedding?" I asked Edward.

"You've already had one. They're a big deal and over rated with rich people," Edward said. "Did you want one?"

"No, they're a lot of stress," I assured him. "Do you really want to stress me out right now?"

* * *

We checked out after the wedding. Edward had to be back in the ER tomorrow morning in Forks. As a new family, we loaded up onto the private plane and went home.

We were gone for such a short period of time, everyone assumed that we were just gone a trip to Seattle for another draft of our prenup. Two days later, Rosalie and Emmett met Jeannie and me and Edward at the store with a carton of ice cream (since she and I were both getting really bad heart burn) and a few pizzas and the books. It was July 31st.

Edward, Emmett, Rosalie and I counted inventory, and then Rose cooked the books.

We made use of the blow-up mattresses and tried to sleep. In the morning, Rose had come in with two decaff coffees and two regulars. "Congratulations, Bella. We've saved the store. Just barely. We can start taking on help, too, so you don't have to work so hard and Emmett can go to part-time as a manager," she said. "Em, I'm going home and getting some rest. These kids have been kicking all night." Right as she turned around, she cried out and a water stain formed down the front of her maternity jeans.

Her water broke.

"Rose, your water just broke!" Emmett shouted. "You're going into labor!"

"No shit, Sherlock!" she cried, clutching her stomach. "_Contraction_!" she howled.

"No sit!" Jeannie repeated. "No sit! No sit!"

"No, Bean!" Rose cried. "Don't say what I just said-"

"Too late," Edward said. "Don't worry, Rosalie, let's just get you to a hospital."

In the car, Rosalie began to tell us about what she had been going through. "I've been getting these tight sensations all week long," she said. "I wasn't sure if they were actually contractions or not, but since they weren't like what Bella or Angela described, I decided they weren't."

"Were you having them last night?" I asked.

"Yes, but not this bad, they were like spasms," she said. "Oh, sh- another one!" I timed it, again. They were almost five and a half minutes apart.

"Mine felt like hot knives slicing through my insides," I said. "Is that what it feels like?"

"Just about," Rose said. "Oh my God! Why am I having twins? Emmett, you are never touching me again!"

"I know, I know," Emmett grumbled.

In the hospital, Edward and I took Jeannie to the waiting room while Emmett got Rosalie into a wheelchair and they checked her in. I called Angela and Jacob. My hand paused over Alice's number. This was about Rose, not me. I called. Alice didn't answer. Obviously, she still wasn't talking to me. I called the coffee shop.

"Fork in the Road Coffee, how may I help you?" an unfamiliar voice answered.

"Hi, is Alice Whitlock available?" I asked.

"May I ask who's calling?"

"Um… this is a friend of Rosalie McCarty's," I said. "It's highly important that I speak with her."

"Just a minute." There was a scuffling and I heard a muffled conversation. Alice finally picked up.

"Hello?" Alice's familiar soprano answered.

"Alice?"

"Oh, Bella," she said, sounding almost sour, but not quite. Rose and I had talked about it- it was really best that I didn't come to Rosalie's baby shower, because Alice was in charge of it, and Alice hadn't wanted me there. She was so hurt by the entire situation- that I had lied about being pregnant by Edward and that her cousin and best friend had been sneaking aorund. She still wasn't talking to Edward, although her parents had forgiven and forgotten. It wasn't like Alice to hold a grudge.

Before she could hang up, I spoke quickly. "Rose went into labor," I said. "We're at the hospital, waiting."

"Oh- oh!" she cried. "I'll be right there!"

She hung up.

It was only about fifteen minutes before she and Jasper showed up- about the same time as Angela and Jacob. Alice's stomach proceeded her she was so big. Her baby had nowhere to go but out.

"I called Mom and Dad. They're on their way, too," she said.

"It's good to see you, Alice," I said, my chest getting tight. I had seen her around town, but never up close. She avoided me like the plague. I never went to her coffee shop- ever.

She paused for a moment. "It's good to see you, too, Bella," she finally answered.

"I've missed you," I said.

"Yeah, I've missed you, too," she admitted, finally sitting down beside me, her eyes filling with tears. We were both so pregnant and hormonal, I started crying, too. I tried to hug her, but our baby bumps got in the way. "So, long do you have before you're due?"

"About four weeks," I said.

"They're talking about inducing me next week," she said. "Maybe even C-section, since I'm so tiny."

"Oh, wow," I said. "How did your baby shower go?"

"It went great," she said. "I'm so sorry I didn't have you there."

"I've got a present for you," I said.

"Oh, Bella, can you ever forgive me?" she asked.

"For what?" I asked.

"For being so offended," she said. "And taking it so personally. I tried so hard to understand, and I think I get it, now, why you did what you did. I was just hurt that you didn't tell me that you were seeing Edward. Then, Angela told me about… about what you almost did in the first trimester- I'm so glad you didn't do that. I didn't know how to talk to you- I'm so sorry! And Dad told me about how you passed out when you found out about Edward's… family. Did you really?"

"Yes," I said. I tried to suppress a laugh. I realized we were alone in the waiting room. Everyone had vacated to get some breakfast and to give us some privacy. Alice started to giggle, too, and we both started laughing through our tears. "After hearing that, I thought who are you to talk to me about keeping secrets? I don't know how you managed to keep a secret like that about Edward for almost ten years!"

"Well, they're just relatives," Alice said, shrugging. "Have you met them, yet? Tony and Liz?"

"Over the phone, yes. They're coming out to meet me and help out with the birth," I said. "So is Renée. Charlie isn't talking to me. His retirement party is this afternoon. I need to be there, just to show him that I still love him."

"Oh," she said. "I hope their kids are born, soon, then. Did Edward really propose to you before you found out about the money?"

"Yes," I said. "And he's adopting Jeannie."

"Mom told me about that," she said. "I'm so happy about that!"

"She's already calling him 'Daddy,'" I said.

"Aw!" Alice cried, wiping her eyes with the back of her wrist. "How sweet! And I've missed her talking! She's gotten so big! She's changed so much!"

"I know," I replied. "I don't want you missing anything else."

"Oh, me either- with you!" she cried, patting her stomach. "When is your wedding going to be?"

"About that, Alice… um…"

"What?" she cried. "When?"

"Last week," I said. "In Vegas. You're first to know."

"Really?" she cried, bursting into fresh tears. "Oh, Bella, I can't believe it! We're really related, now!"

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

As Rosalie gave birth quickly by that afternoon, Alice started a last-minute baby shower for me. I told her I already had everything I needed- Edward and I had bought all the baby furniture and redecorated one of the guest bedrooms. I knew she felt guilty for the way she had shunned me for the past few months. Once we caught up, it was like no time was lost at all.

Angela, Alice and I went to see Rosalie in the recovery room with her twin boys. She and Emmett were naming them Emmett Hale McCarty and Michael Newton McCarty. They'd be called Hale and Newton. I was so pleased.

"Hi!" she cried, seeing the three of us entering together. "Oh, Bella, Alice, are you talking, now?"

"Yeah," Alice said. "We have an emergency baby shower to plan for Bella and Edward. Don't worry, I'm going to make Angela and the guys do all the work."

Rose laughed. "I'm so glad! My best friends are talking, again!"

"And since we can't do a bridal shower, we have to do a passion party, too," Alice said. "Nothing but lingerie and vibrators for the recently married couple."

"Alice!" I cried. "A thong would disappear on me right now!"

"A passion party?" Rosalie asked, suspiciously. "Bella, is there something you're not telling us?"

"This isn't just an engagement ring," I said, holding up my hand. "No passion parties, though."

"How could you keep something like this from us?" Angela cried.

"I know, I know," I said. "We didn't want a big, giant wedding or reception, just something quiet."

"We have to do the passion party," Angela said. We all laughed and Angela's cheeks burned. "Come on, Bella, we did nothing for your marriage to Edward! And this baby's coming so soon, I don't know if we're going to have time to throw a decent baby shower."

"She knows the most about vibrators and lingerie," Rosalie said. We all burst out laughing as Angela's cheeks reddened. It felt like old times, again. "Well, it's true! I've seen her nightstand drawer!"

"It's always the quiet ones!" Alice cried, gleefully.

"Let's see your sons," I said once the laughter had died down, steering the conversation back to the most recent additions to our little "family."

"They're definitely Emmett's kids," Rosalie said. "I'm pretty sure they're going to have brown eyes, eventually. Wow. I can't believe there's going to be four babies born between us in less than six weeks time."

"I can't believe three of us are pregnant at once," I said.

"I'm feeling so left out!" Angela said.

"You can have one of mine," Rose said, rolling her eyes.

After Emmett ralphed from smoking two cigars at once and drinking a flute of champagne, I went on to the Police Station with Edward and Jeannie. Angela and Jacob weren't far behind with Will and Wendi.

The party was in full swing, and the entire police station was there for Charlie.

Everyone tried to act normal when Edward, Jeannie and I walked in. Charlie's gaze fell upon me and he frowned. I had a dark feeling in the pit of my stomach- I wanted Charlie in my life. I was his daughter. I had spent my childhood not looking forward to going to Forks, but looking forward to spending time with my father. Jeannie was in the process of being adopted by Edward, and she was going to be his little girl. I knew one day, she'd disappoint him- both of us. She might even end up pregnant outside of marriage, one day, like I did. I didn't want her having Charlie's behavior has an example of what might happen to her in the back of her head. This wasn't like Charlie to hold out on a bluff for so long.

"Hi, Dad," I finally said when I got close to him. "Happy retirement."

"Hi Bella," he said. He didn't sound happy to see me. He looked almost sad. "Well, I'm happy you and Jeannie made it."

"Thanks," I said.

Miranda Clapp bustled up to me like something was wrong. "Bella! I just heard over the dispatch!"

"What is it?" I asked.

"About the news- congratulations!"

"You heard about Rose's kids? Yeah, she had her babies today, Dad-"

"No, about you and Dr. Edward- eloping?" she said.

Charlie looked overwhelmed. "Bells? You got remarried?" he asked, in a tiny voice.

"Yes."

"News travels fast in a small town," Miranda said. "Congratulations, honey." She hugged and kissed me.

"I thought- I thought I'd get a chance to walk you down the isle," Charlie said. His chin wobbled, like he was about to cry. "I thought I'd get to give you away, again."

"I know, Dad," I said. "It was just Edward, Jeannie and me in Vegas." Dad wrapped his arms around me. I stroked his back. He needed the comfort.

"Don't you know that a Vegas wedding is the kiss of death?"

"No, we needed to get away, somewhere where nobody knew us."

"What took him so long?"

"A lot of things."

"How did you get down there?" he cried, pulling back from me.

"We flew down."

"There's an airline that let you on a plane?"

"Edward chartered a private plane," I said. "I have a lot to tell you Dad, but not here."

"I understand," he said, stroking my hair back out of my face.

"You need to welcome Edward into the family, OK?"

"Alright."

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

"I can't wait until they're old enough to sit up. I can put them in a glider like you did for Jeannie," Rose said, pushing the stroller through the aisles of the store. "Emmett?" she yelled. "Everything locked up?"

"Of course, Rose!" Emmett yelled from the back.

"I'm going to drive Bella home, I'll see you after poker," she said. "Hey Em, don't do anything too mean to the new guy tonight, alright?"

"I can't promise anything," Emmett yelled back. We smiled to each other. Poker nights had moved to Saturday night, finally, which I was grateful for.

Rosalie had taken to driving me home, I was so far along I could hardly fit behind the steering wheel these days. Taking Jeannie's hand, we went out to Rose's new hybrid SUV, where three car seats were stationed in the back.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Rose," I said.

"Probably get sick of this store and sell it," Rose said as I buckled Jeannie in, first. We picked up the twins out of the carriage and put them in, next.

"Mommy home?" Jeannie asked.

"Yes, Mommy and Jeannie are going home," I said. "Rose, do you want to stop for dinner?"

"I've got forty-five pounds of baby weight to lose," she complained. "I really enjoyed being pregnant too much."

"You look great to me," I said. "Here's a secret, just eat a lot of meat, vegetables and breast feed like crazy."

"You know that when I breastfeed, I have to do both of them at once," Rose said. "Otherwise, I'd be nursing all day!"

The drive to La Push was the norm; Rose and I giggled at her stories about her mother-in-law, whom she hated and thought was a redneck. I was excited because I was going to meet Edward's parents tomorrow- we were driving up to Seattle and would pick up his parents at the airport, who were back from their mission trip and finally had a break. They'd be just in time to see the baby be born.

We laughed at Jasper's problems with parenthood so far- it took him 10 minutes to change little Syndey's diaper, and Alice wanted to do cloth diapers on her, like I had. Rose had even gotten in on cloth diapers, much to Emmett's disgust. We were the green mommy brigade of Forks- saving the world, one diaper at a time.

As I unlocked the door and walked inside, the lights turned on for me. "Surprise!"

"Hi Bella!" Alice popped up, holding her little girl Sydney. "Happy Baby Shower!"

I looked around- it was a small baby shower- Alice had only a few people there- Angela, Esme, Miranda and some of the girls from the station, a few of the teachers I still talked to from the high school, Lauren and Gabby, Jessica and her gay best friend, and most importantly, the grandmas-to-be; Renée and Liz.

"Hi!" I cried. "Mom, what are you doing here? Liz, I was going to pick you up tomorrow!"

"I caught an earlier flight," Liz said, smiling. "I can rent a car and work a GPS without my husband. Come here and give your mother-in-law a hug. I want to see this new grandchild of mine, too." She hugged me and reached for Jeannie. Jeannie happily went to Liz.

I took a moment to hug everyone and thank them for coming, individually.

"Wow," I said, seeing the pile of presents. "I hope everybody got lots of green and yellow. I don't trust ultrasounds."

After a few baby shower games and having dinner, I opened the presents. They all came with gift receipts, which made me smile. They were mostly clothes, towels, baby wipes, diaper ointment, cloth diapers, and novelty things, like a wave noise machine, since Edward and I had already acquired everything else ourselves. Alice took notes so I could write the Thank-You cards.

After the party, Rose, Angela, Alice and I started to clean up while we put Newt, Hale, and Syndey in the new crib to break it in and tried out the wave noise machine. Angela and I put Wendi and Jeannie in onesies and they toddled around with their bottles. Will was having a father-son night at home. We wouldn't allow Esme, Renée or Liz to leave.

"This is our tradition," Angela explained. "After every baby shower, we have a slumber party- just the four best friends. Since we started having babies, we expanded it to the kids, too."

"Oh, that's nice!" Renée cried.

"We're going to include you, too, since you came all this way to be here," Angela said.

"So, what do you do on your slumber parties?" Liz asked.

"We watch movies, order pizza and crank-call the boys," I said. Renée and Liz laughed- Esme just rolled her eyes. She had heard it all before.

"We've got _Casino Royale_," Alice said. "The one where Daniel Craig is wearing that little speedo-"

"Ooh!" Rose cried. We all giggled.

"We'll get Wendi and Jeannie to bed before then," I said. "Of course."

We finished the clean up and sorted the recycle.

"Bella, are you happy, now?" Renée asked me, wrapping an arm around me.

"I've married the man of my dreams, I've got a baby on the way, and I've got a job that'll keep me occupied," I said. I had walked through hell in the past year and a half. And come out a little battered and bruised, but OK in the end. "I'd say I'm pretty happy, Mom."

**

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A/N- By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N- **Capricorn75 has bullied me into posting the rest of it. Thanks.

* * *

"I think you should get pregnant again when Kate's nine months," Alice informed me. Sydney was able to sit up, now, but just barely. "That would be so perfect- your kids would each have eighteen months between all three of your kids."

"I don't think so," I said. "My uterus is going to take a few years off. I just lost this baby weight."

"OK, fine," Alice grumbled.

The Cullen's annual Christmas party was in full swing. I still had trouble telling the twins apart- they were being passed around like hot potatoes- all the babies were. Kate would probably be ready to sit up and glide, soon. I hardly got anything accomplished when I was trying to do stock work in the store. Kate had turned over early- right at three months. She wasn't going to let Sydney, Newton and Hale out distance her- she wanted to join the 'party' during the play dates. She was getting Edward's copper hair and would probably get his emerald green eyes eventually, too. I guess there was something dominant about my genes, because this baby had my lips, too, just like Jeannie. She was quieter, more introspective, not as outgoing, but more sensitive than Jeannie. My Jeannie Newton-Cullen was still the life of the party. Her honey-blonde hair was still in spriggy curls, but it was longer, now, long enough that I could braid it, which I had done tonight for the party. I had lost Jeannie, but I found her dancing with Emmett. She was bouncing so hard that the curls were coming out of the rubber bands.

Edward was going to stop by once his shift at the hospital was over, which I was looking forward to. Charlie was scheduled to stop by, as were Angela and Jacob, although Jacob wanted to get to the Christmas party at Sam Uley's on the reservation.

The doorbell rang and Jake and Angie entered with Will and Wendi and their drawing presents.

"Hi, everyone!" Angela cried. "Merry Christmas!"

"Ang!" I cried, hugging her. "Hi, Jake!"

"Merry Christmas, Bells," he said, hugging me. He had taken extra care to tame his hair and pull it back into a ponytail tonight.

Wendi and Will hugged me, too, before running off to play with Jeannie and Emmett.

"Did you guys dress Emmett up as Emmett Claus this year?" Angela asked.

"No, Santa Claus really is scary," I said.

"I agree," Jacob said.

"Hey, Emmett," Carlisle said. "Can I get you guys a beer or an egg nog or something?"

"A diet coke," Angela said.

"Egg nog," Jacob said.

"Be right back," Carlisle said.

"Where's Edward?" Angela asked.

"Finishing up his shift at the ER," I said.

"What's the deal with his internship?" Jacob asked.

"Well, he's getting offers from everywhere, just about," I said. "I'm getting nervous. I don't want to leave Forks in June."

"I know you don't. We don't want you to, either," Jacob said.

"We love Figgy and Katie so much," Angela said.

"That's part of marrying a doctor, I guess," I said. I might have to sell the store, soon, unfortunately, if Edward and I moved away. I was prepared for it. I heard a familiar engine pulling in the driveway. "That's Edward's car!" I cried.

Jeannie lit up and dashed to the screen door, eager to see her father.

"Hi, Daddy!" she said, slapping her hand against the cold glass.

"Hey, Figgy!" Edward said, coming up the walk and into the house. He always made it a point to pick her up and hug and kiss her first. He worried that going to Kate first might make her feel insignificant for not being his own flesh-and-blood child. Jeannie didn't seem to notice. "How's it going, Bean?"

"Santa!" Jeannie cried.

"I know, I know," Edward said, hugging and kissing me. "Santa comes tonight. Hi, Bella. Where's Kate?"

"She's being held by Esme."

"I got good news," he said. "Very good news."

He told me the good news; I was elated. "We have to tell everyone!"

"Let's do it!" Edward said.

We got into the living room- everybody had to tell Edward hello.

"We've got some news," Edward said. "I got the job offer- and I'm going to take it. The Forks ER has offered me full-time a job. We're not going to leave the Forks/La Push area- we're staying here."

**

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A/N- Do you see how raw my writing was when I first started fanfic? Ugh. By now, you should know reviews are like cookies to writers! Leave me some!**


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